A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Am I really being selfish? My girlfriend of nearly 2 years is currently on the pill, and has been since nearly the beginning of our relationship. The problem is she is 23 and almost 24, and she still has achne break outs, and feels she is missing the best years of her life to have beautiful skin. She was on medication to treat that, but she got pregnant when she was in a relationship with her ex while she was on the pill and taking that medication at the same time. She now wants to get on the achne medication again and stop taking the pill. I reminded her of the problems and stress we had when we were just using condoms. They would break, or we didn't use them the whole time on some occasions until the end, and I would have to run out and buy pregnacy test a couple times a month. She then said "if we can't have sex anymore then I'm willing to do that", and that I'm just being selfish. She said it probably won't come to that but she is willing to do whatever it takes to clear up her face. Part of my problem as well is she really just isn't that into the sex anymore, and gets pretty annoyed and grossed out mostly any time I want to do it, and says how tired she is and how much she is working. I guess I feel like she isn't that in to me sometimes, and what she said doesn't help that. I love my girlfriend to death. It just bothers me she would be willing to stop having sex with me over this. So, am I being selfish? For now she is saying she is willing to use condoms as long as I pull out at the end.
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female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 I have had acne problems, so I know it's a nightmare. I saw a dermatologist, had various creams etc.
The thing that actually works and keeps it in check is MD Formulations. It's a range of skin-care products that's only available in certain beauty salons. It's between a cosmetic and a medicine basically, and contains Glycolic.
You use a facial cleanser, plus a cream, then a moisturiser and SPF. There are also MD facial peels to have. Once you have used the products for 2 weeks, you can have the facials. I had a course each week for while. Then had them for fortnightly, then monthly. Now I go a couple of times a year, or when I get breakouts.
It's the only thing that works.
Fiona.
A
female
reader, DoodlePixie +, writes (17 September 2008):
By the sounds of it her self esteem is rock bottom - people are often seriously bothered by certain aspects of their appearance even if other people say they are not. Whats worse for her is it isn't something she can easily disguise, meaning she probably thinks every person she meets or knows judges her on the condition of her skin.
If she seems put off sex this will be a good motive for why, not because she is put off by you.
You are being selfish as you seem to strongly believe that the source of her disinterest in sex is all because of you. Give her a year to take the medication for her skin even if it sacrifices sex. This will probably be more than enough time for it to clear up enough for her to get some self confidence.
If you truly love and care for your girlfriend then you will want her to be happy above your need for sex.
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A
female
reader, CNKlives +, writes (17 September 2008):
Acne can effect ones self esteem so I understand why she would want to clear it up. She needs to go back to her doctor and get on a pill that does both, I am on a version of Yaz (birth control) that helps with bloating, pms AND acne. It is aobut $55 a month if your insurance doesn't cover it, but well worth the money. I'm sorry you are going through this, hopefully there will be a happy medium. Good luck!
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