A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey Aunts.It started like this, I met a guy online and we liked each other loads, so I gathered as much proof as I could that he was who he said he was, and arranged to meet up with him. We'd known each other for over a year and a half over msn before we met.When we met up, there were no problems. In fact, we were mad about each other!So we'd decided to meet up again in October when I'm off of school and we'd have time to spend a whole 8 days together. The problem is, my parents don't want me to go. I understand that they're a bit wary of letting me go over to Ireland to see someone they'd barely met, but they're being unreasonable about it!! First they said I had to pay for it myself, flights and everything, so I went out and looked for part time jobs.Later they said I must take a friend with me. So I went off and arranged that, but then they decided that wasn't good enough.Then they said they wanted to know more about this guy and his family (since he'd asked that I stayed at their house), so I asked them what they wanted to know, but they said it had to be from a more reliable source.So I suggested to my dad that he meet my BF over msn, but he told me it was a silly idea. Dad said the only option he's willing to give me is that I wait until December when my gran is free to go with me. I'd hate to wait that long, it's already really upsetting me and I really miss him so much. My parents don't even have another reason to distrust him. He's not really older than me, he doesn't seem like a dodgy person or a drug dealer or whatever and he was polite towards my dad when they met.I'd even gone out of my way to arrange a flight plan for October, and seeing as I'm at the age where I could legally move out if I wanted, I don't *think* they could stop me if I just upped and went. But I don't want to do that. But I would if it came down to having to... can anyone think of a way to sway my parents? I don't care if it means restrictions, as long as I get to see him again soon! I really miss him =/xxSunnyxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): Sorry FETSEA, but I think you may have misunderstood me a little...
I think the site's being a bit weird because I posted further down an update that he was scared to come over here again because his parents didn't approve and he was worried they'd try to stop him seeing me, and it didn't verify me as the original poster (maybe that's what I get for not actually having an account...)
I didn't actually buy the tickets, I planned what flights I could take ect. but didn't actually BUY them because my dad then decided I wasn't going.
When we met, I got to see him for 3 days, and the first night we both stayed at a friends.
I didn't say either that I was planning on moving out, I meant I was at the age where I'm legally independent from my parents.. sorry about not making that clear. xx
A
male
reader, FETSEA  +, writes (17 September 2008):
HONEY! you are 16-17. I am 57. Think a moment. You have known a "stranger" for 1 1/2 years, but not in person at all. WHEN YOU MET UP, THERE WERE NO PROBLEMS". Of course, there was no problem in the first encounter. Each trying to please the other better.How long was this meet up? Now, suddenly you choose to put up 8 days with "still a stranger" in Ireland. I do not know, how far is that from your home,but to have bought a flight ticket, it means a distance. How well you did, to find a part time job so as to earn and pay for the ticket, and how you did find a friend to keep company is reflective of your urgency to meet this "stranger". Your dad cannot assess that person on the phone or msn. Why do you say, your dad does not trust him, even though they have met each other. (NOTICE SOMETHING:Despite having met, dad rejects the idea of you flying that distance to meet him). You want to "move out"!? where to; at whose costs; thought of security for a girl aged 16-17. A BIG MISTAKE.Do not let infatuation take over. Listen to your parents. Let not people start talking/ bad mouthing etc. Newspapers are full of reports: kidnap; rape; forced into pornography; and so on. Hard true life lessons.Invite him to your residence with parental permission, and his parents must know as well. REMEMBER: "Daughters are big parental responsibilty"
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (16 September 2008):
Sorry sweetie but you have to follow your parents' rules.
They don't want you to go and stay at some boy's house who they don't know.
I wouldn't want my 16 yearold daughter sleeping over at a boy's house if he lived next door, let alone in a foreign country.
In fact I wouldn't want my 16 yearold daughter going to a foreign country alone.
I know it is horrible but you will just have to wait to go with a relative or cheparone... or till you are 18.
Have you thought about getting his parents to phone your parents? They might be able to some to a solution that way.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): Thanks for the advice, and I asked my bf about this. But his parents don't seem too happy with him spending so much money to be with me. He's already visited in August and his parents had said something like "find a girl nearer to home- it'll be too much effort seeing her" and he says he's scared that they'll try to stop him seeing me if it looks like he's spending all his hard earned cash on me! (He's only 15, so he still has to live under his parents rules)
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A
female
reader, CNKlives  +, writes (16 September 2008):
Why don't you ask your parents if he can come stay at your house? I understand their concerns. You are their baby girl going to stay with some guy they don't really know. They are only doing it out of love even though it sounds frustrating. See if they would be willing to have him stay with you instead of you going to stay with him..
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