Do my feelings make me a lesbian?
Q. I'm even more confused. My best friend is a girl and you see I'm also a girl and I am seriously developing strong feelings for her. I can't stop thinking about her. She is in the military and she is about to deploy. Should I tell her how I feel? ...
A. 20 May 2011: Having strong feelings for another girl doesn't mean you're a lesbian. I am a girl, and I too have had very strong feelings of love for certain of my friends. But I never wanted to kiss them or get naked with them, so even though I was practically ... (read in full...)
My husband has had a 13 year affair. what should I do?
Q. I have recently found out my husband of 13 years has been having a physical and emotional affair with a woman at his work. This has been going on since the day we got married. I am in shock. He says he wants to "move forward" with me and "get ...
A. 20 May 2011: Those scared feelings will go away, and you will come out on top. It's time for you to leave him and build the life you want. You've been begging him to build a happy marriage for 13 years and he has not bothered to. It's time to cut your losses and ... (read in full...)
How long do I wait before I give up on him? He's over there going out drinking, I'm still here paying the bills.
Q. When my fiancé moved to another city for a new job we decided he would get settled and find a nice place for us to live. Then the plan was that I would leave my job here and follow him. Once there I could look for another job, during which time he ...
A. 20 May 2011: I'd give up on him now. Doesn't sound like he really wants to be with you. For all you know, he took that job so he could get away from you. Sometimes it's much easier to break up with someone by moving away and stalling than by telling them to ... (read in full...)
I'm engaged, he's married, but we've both confessed feelings for each other. How can we deal with this without it affecting our friendship?
Q. My coworker and I have feelings for each other. The problems are he's married and I'm engaged. He admitted to me that he's attracted to me. I admitted that I like him, too. We had a talk. It was a talk about not crossing the line and we are not ...
A. 20 April 2011: I've been there. I've been there more than one time. It's impossible to go through life without being attracted to someone that is off-limits. That's how life is. Open communication is an excellent first step, but in this case it didn't help the ... (read in full...)
It could've been our first time...what should I do in the future?
Q. i'm a 23 years old male,i'm a virgin,i met someone i love and she visited me at my place and spent the night with me,we touched,kissed and got naked,i was very hard during the foreplay and when trying to penetrate her my penis just collapsed in her ...
A. 20 April 2011: You probably just got nervous. Or had too much to drink. If she loves you too, or is a worthwhile person in any way, she'll help you through this. If that was a deal-breaker for her, then dump her -- she's not worth it. Next time, lay off the ... (read in full...)
Newly married and unsure what I should be doing when having sex.....
Q. I m a newly married person. please tell me when to have sex and whenever I do sex, is it necessary to make her wet and I wanna enjoy more during sex. How is it possible???...
A. 30 March 2011: Probably you should discuss this with your wife. Sex conversations can be very difficult to have, I know. Ask her if she likes what you are doing and what she might like better. Get a book and read it together. You have having sex, after all, you ... (read in full...)
No one knows how unhappy I am. I'd appreciate some advice.
Q. I have been feeling very lonely and upset lately. I have a boyfriend of 6 years and everything is fine with him, but in the last while I have become really self conscious about how I look and I feel really awkward around people. I think that people ...
A. 30 March 2011: Wow. I could have written this problem myself. I tend toward sadness and loneliness myself, when the truth is I am surrounded by people who would be my friends if I would only let them. First off, if you are really self conscious about your looks... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to read my American boss. What do you think?
Q. I’m a foreign student and working in my university while I am studding, Today I finished my job and it took 5 minutes longer than I suppose to work. I was cleaning my desk and putting the stuff on the places that they should be quickly to go because ...
A. 30 March 2011: I agree. It was a little bit of teasing. Also, she saw that you were in a hurry and perhaps wanted to be sure you didn't drive like a crazy person and get in a car wreck. I would count this as nice behavior toward you rather than mean behavior. ... (read in full...)
I'm sending him this breakup note. Am I doing the right thing?
Q. I need some external advice because i am a mess and i do not want to do anything i regret later. I used to go out with this guy and we were really in love. Then he just pulled back and we decided to stay friends. The problem is even that he liv...
A. 30 March 2011: That is waaaaaay too much drama for a break-up note. And it's also way too long, especially for someone who doesn't even read your emails, or call you, or care about you in any way except to use your body for sex at his personal convenience. He says ... (read in full...)
I checked my boyfriend's phone and now he is furious!
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my bf have been going through a tough time lately, my behaviour has not been great and I have been suffering from anxiety and depression which I am trying to deal with by going to therapy. Anyway, last Friday I did something ...
A. 1 March 2011: You crossed the line. Not only that, you let him know that you crossed the line. That was straight up stupid. And then you made a big deal about a text that was sent a year ago.
It's up to the two of you as to whether you can recover or not. He'... (read in full...)
If a guy won't wait does it automatically mean he wants to use you?
Q. ok,so there is this guy-ive known him about 3 months but we didnt see each other for a few weeks and now weve started seeing each other again I tried telling him I want to wait a few weeks for things to get back to normal before we have sex but he ...
A. 1 March 2011: He's very attracted to you, obviously. If he really liked you as a person, he would be willing to wait a few weeks. While things return to normal, don't do a lot of kissing and making out, because that just makes it harder for everyone. If you are ... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm having an affair!
Q. please my boyfriend told me he is breaking up with me because i was told off of my friend, who is a male who told me he saw him with another lady. Now he thinks I am having an affair with the guy and tells me he wants to meet the guy before he ...
A. 1 March 2011: Not exactly sure what you are saying here ... Did Male Friend tell you he saw your boyfriend with another girl? And now for some reason your boyfriend thinks that you and Male Friend are involved? And your boyfriend wants to meet Male Friend before ... (read in full...)
What does a man means when he says I will never hurt you?
Q. When you are in the heat of the moment with a man and you tell him you are falling for them and he says " baby, I would never hurt you" What does that mean? Does he mean he is falling to and can't quite say it? He told me he was so happy that I ...
A. 1 March 2011: I don't think it means anything. Guys say all kinds of stuff in the 'heat of the moment.' What really matters is what he says and especially how he treats you. Is he respectful? Does he act like he can't wait to see you? These are more reliable ... (read in full...)
He is only interested in his new girlfriend and doesn't care about our baby....
Q. okay, Where could I start?? I was in a relationship for 4 years, and I was engaged. We were already going to get married, but everything just start going down between us. Everything started out great and then it just went straight down, I was living ...
A. 22 February 2011: Probably not. He will probably never change.
You made a classic mistake -- you got pregnant by someone who doesn't care. I'm sorry, both for you and for the child.
The only thing you can do now is try to make the best life that you can for... (read in full...)
Why did my wife get upset when I saw a topless sunbather on a beach?
Q. This may be a funny question to ask but my wife got so mad on a trip we took to Mexico when we saw a woman laying out topless. Why is that? I am not the guy who makes comments about other women or takes long stares at them; I have always been very ...
A. 22 February 2011: Women are funny and unpredictable. I can say that 'cause I am one. Sometimes I get pissed over little things; sometimes I don't. I feel for my poor boyfriend, trying to make sense of it all!
She's insecure. You can reassure her as much as you want... (read in full...)
I'm am taking medication to gain weight, but I need support, as well! What should I do?
Q. I'm a 23 year old married female. I've always been thin just like my father. He has trouble gaining weight and I now am having the same issues. I'm 5'5 and weigh 97 pounds. My ideal weight is and was 120-125. I try to eat as much as I can, but ...
A. 22 February 2011: Try to find a support group, either locally or on-line. It helps to have someone to talk to!
Did your nutritionist give you a meal plan? Do you know how many calories you need to eat in order to gain weight?
Keep loading up the calories! Dr... (read in full...)
He cant marry me because of his parents......
Q. I've been in an on/off relationship with this guy for many years now. We always break up due to one problem, his parents. Our parents come from the same country and religious background, however he strongly believes that his parents will never ...
A. 22 February 2011: Many years? That's a whole bunch of years too many. "He said he wants to keep his parents happy and knows he cannot marry me." Believe him. He cannot marry you. You are asking him to be something that he cannot be; something that he does not want to ... (read in full...)
He left me for another woman while I was pregnant. I need advice. Has this happened to others?
Q. I feel like am going through an emotional hell just now and any advice would be welcome. I am 20 weeks pregnant and my ex broke up with me just when we found out. To cut a long story short, we have had a very close friendship for over a year. We...
A. 22 February 2011: I'm not sure what you see when you look into the future, but what you OUGHT to be seeing is twenty years on a roller coaster ride from hell.
You're guy's manic depressive. He's not stable. He can't be stable. He'll tell you one thing today an... (read in full...)
Should I end it with my long term lover(A), despite his objections, so I can be with (B)?
Q. I've been in a relationship for the past 5 years with (A). There's always fights and no understanding between us. It was a type of compromise. Even though we were planning to get married. A few months back one of my close friends (B) suggested a ...
A. 22 February 2011: Five years, and still always fights and no understanding? That's not much of a relationship. Do you want five more years like this?
A's gonna be unhappy but he'll get over it. It's better all around if you free both of yourselves up to find som... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man gives you a drawer?
Q. I have a man I'm seeing long distance. We started this relationship in early November We are two hours apart... we email and talk on the phone a few times a week... I go to visit him since he cannot be around my dogs. I have been up to see h...
A. 22 February 2011: I'm with a guy right now who's awesome at communication. He's taught me a lot by his example in just asking when he's wondering about something.
This is a situation where you're gonna have to ask. You are definitely old enough to have real and... (read in full...)
Bullying from my school years is still affecting me... help!
Q. From when I started primary school, right up until the day I left secondary school, I was consistently bullied, intimidated and made fun of. The thing is, I still have no idea, to this day why it happened to me. When I started primary school at the ...
A. 21 February 2011: I'm so glad you found a better school! You are right in that there was absolutely no reason for the bullying. There never is, except one -- because the bullies can get away with it. They chose you as a target because they could.
It's time to ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing in not being in the same bed as my friends who were messing around? And how do I face them tomorrow?
Q. Okay I am not a pretty girl, I am not into going out all the time or drinking, drugs, etc. but what happened tonight has made my life slope bad so here it goes: this is my story! I have liked this guy for 3 months now. He's sweet, nice, and kind t...
A. 21 February 2011: They are jerks for messing around in front of you. It's a good story and I'd tell it around the school if I were you, especially to her boyfriend. Also, start hanging around with other people. These ones aren't very nice to you. High school is a ... (read in full...)
Seeing two guys and don't know who to choose
Q. Well.. I have know this guy {guy A} for almost 10 years. He has been in love with me since the day we met. He is sweet and treats me like a princess.The problem is he is stilll becoming a man and i am a very head strong woman. I got married and ...
A. 21 February 2011: I think you are playing with Guy A's affections. I think you have been playing with his affections for the last ten years. He's in love with you and you like that, so you keep toying with him and leading him on, making him think that he stands a ... (read in full...)
Met with an ex from 15 years ago and he was totally rude?
Q. my ex left me for another woman 15 years ago. years later i was thinking of him and looked for him on fb and found him, we started chatting and we were talking about our passed and much we liked it and what could have been and what not. At one point ...
A. 21 February 2011: What happened is that he was remembering the good times, was feeling nostalgic, and agreed to see you again. Once you were together, he had second thoughts about getting back together with you. So he was rude and hurtful to make you go away.
Somet... (read in full...)
How do I make sense of my relationship with a lying, cheating man?
Q. I've changed this story a few times to my friends, but for this website, I will be honest for once. I met this guy online, and no I have never met him in real life, he lives about four hours away. We're close in age, and we've been talking for...
A. 20 February 2011: You're kidding, right? You're in a relationship with a lying cheating man. Period. Stop arguing with him about whether he is true to you. Stop asking him if he is lying. Stop stalking him online. You already know what he is up to. The only reason ... (read in full...)
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