A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My coworker and I have feelings for each other. The problems are he's married and I'm engaged. He admitted to me that he's attracted to me. I admitted that I like him, too. We had a talk. It was a talk about not crossing the line and we are not going to go down that affair path. I'm going crazy. I see him everyday at work. Now our feelings are out in the open. I don't know how to deal with the situation. I don't want to cut him off completely. I still want to be able to say hi and talk to him. But my feelings toward him is so difficult to deal with. What should I do?
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affair, at work, co-worker, engaged Reply to this Question
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female
reader, amber jarvey  +, writes (26 April 2011):
i have been their, he told me he was inlove with me, we had this amazing connection, he risked alot to see me, i trusted him and him me, we nearly got caught plenty of times, we still carried on seeing eachother but as soon as it got too much hard work, the lies built up and his wife nearly found out he left me heartbroken, havent heard from him in 4 months.Even though i do believe when the dust settles he will be contacting me (although i have already decided what i will do if he does!)This situation really isnt worth it, the highs are so amazing and i do believe i fell inlove, the attraction was one i have never felt before, like meeting my soulmate but after seeing him for over 3 months i really fell for him and he me until like i said we nearly got caught for the 4th time and he legged it. Just a bit of advice which i wish someone had told me. Before you go any further with this look up on the internet about how they never leave their wife, how its just a bit of fun and blah blah i wish i had read it before though, even though inside i believe it was real his actions say differently. You will probably be thinking yeah but we havent started yet, the feelings too good to stop, you can stop it! right now! you havent even started out yet. Please think about it because i seriously have had my heart crushed by this man and i do blaim myself not only for what i done but because i basically asked to have my heart crushed into a million pieces! i still miss him like theres no tomorrow. Just something to think about before you go any further x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): As usual, everyone on this site will say to cut contact. That should be a last resort. Just continue with it as it is. Back away a little if that's what you want but don't avoid this person completely. I actually don't like people undermining friendships like that. Friendships should be cherished too. If it's difficult, talk about it. Above all, be honest with yourself. Think about why you're going crazy. Ask yourself: do I want the feelings to go away or do I want to act on them? If you truly want the feelings to disappear then you can do things to help that. If you want to act on them, well you need to consider the potential consequences. Affairs can be horrible and destructive. But not always. Talk about it if it helps!
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A
male
reader, nuggs +, writes (20 April 2011):
Lets keep in mind he is married! Feelings come and go but commitment should be forever!
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A
female
reader, charitysend +, writes (20 April 2011):
I've been there. I've been there more than one time. It's impossible to go through life without being attracted to someone that is off-limits. That's how life is. Open communication is an excellent first step, but in this case it didn't help the situation. You're still crazy about him. Now you turn to Plan B: you cut off contact with him. Or you go to Plan C: break up your existing relationships so you can be together. Keep in mind that down the road you'll again be attracted to someone else who is off-limits, and you'll be right back here at square one.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (20 April 2011):
 Having been through something similar in the past, cutting contact is about the only way, or at least a drastic reduction. Still, whenever you see each other, those feelings come back.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 April 2011):
 If am honest with you if you have feelings for him the best way to handle them and get over them is to cut contact with him. Off course you dont want to do this because he is a friend and you do care about him. But if you are serious about your engagement well then keep your distance from him. Its the only solution.
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