A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship for the past 5 years with (A). There's always fights and no understanding between us.It was a type of compromise.Even though we were planning to get married. A few months back one of my close friends (B) suggested a relationship.As we are close we soon accepted each other.i want to leave (A) but he doesn't want to.i have also told (A) about other guy (B) but (A) still doesn't want to leave me. Now what to do?please help me with this problem. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (23 February 2011):
Ask (A) what good does it do if you physically stay with him but your heart and mind doesn't want to be there? Is that the kind of relationship he wants? Because that's what it will be if you stay with him. what's the purpose of being in such a relationship?
If he says he doesn't care how you feel about him all he cares about is that you stay with him, then he's pretty messed up (maybe low self esteem).
for you, on the other hand - you openly acknowledge that you don't want to be with A, you want to be with B.
Why haven't you left A yet? why do you feel you need A's permission to end the relationship?
A
female
reader, charitysend +, writes (22 February 2011):
Five years, and still always fights and no understanding? That's not much of a relationship. Do you want five more years like this?
A's gonna be unhappy but he'll get over it. It's better all around if you free both of yourselves up to find someone you are truly happy with.
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A
male
reader, Captain Ziggy  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 A bad relationship is a bad relationship. You can fix it if you're both willing to take the time. However it doesn't sound like you're willing to take the time, like you've lost the will to try and fix it. You deserve to be happy, so you have to do whatever will make you happy. If being with guy B is going to make you happy, then thats what you should do. Guy A may protest, but in the end, unless hes going to chain you to a wall, then theres nothing he can do to keep you from leaving. He might be upset about it, he might be hurt - but what choice do you have? Is it worth hurting yourself indefinitely by staying in a bad relationship, just to save him a few months of grief? My advice... just leave. If you've tried to work it out, and now you're just tired of it, and guy B makes you happy, then go be with guy B. Go be happy. Good luck!
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