A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: hey guys am in a relationship with this guy for three months now.i love him a lot and he says he also loves me a lot.he says i make him happy every time and so on.But the problem is one night when we were talking on phone and i asked him to give his fb password but he denied me.he said that before he met me he used to have flirty talk with girls and when i see his chat i will feel bad and he is afraid that he may lose me.I ended up the phone with anger and rejected his upcoming calls but in every next morning he messaged me his password and said he has nothing to hide.So when i checked his fb i dont really seen that much flirt talk like he said.the thing is that i think he had deleted the chat, and that time on wards I am having doubts on him.I dont know whats happening to me.Does he really love me?Did he really mean his words?Guys help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (18 May 2016):
No you cannot trust him, if he was a decent man, he would convince you to tell your parents, as you are underage and still legally a child. It is what is called grooming and my guess is that he will take what he wants from you and then leave and find some other vulnerable teenage girl. You are opening yourself up to danger here.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 May 2016):
Ah, so we have a young teenager keeping really big secrets from her parents. So this guy knows it, no doubt.
I’d say a 20 year old talking online to a 15 year old has a lot to hide from a lot of people, so no, I wouldn’t trust him at all. Not one bit. I would assume he’ll say things to keep you interested.
How many pictures of yourself have you sent to him?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 May 2016):
Her parents doesn't know. And my guess is for good reason.
We can not tell you whether this guy is trustworthy or not. And at 13-15 you are as inexperienced as they come (no offense but that is the truth) - this is why SEVERAL of the aunts ask what your parents think, because I would presume it's ALSO part of your culture for your parents to approve of whom you are "dating".
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 May 2016):
Do your parents trust him? I’d ask Dad, he’d probably know more about the male mind than anyone! Plus he has the advantage of knowing you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionohk thanks for the advices but can i trust him?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (18 May 2016):
At 15 you are still not legally an adult, so my advice would be to tell your parents, or even adult you trust, if age is not an issue then why not just tell your parents?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell am 15 and he is 20.age is not going to be a problem for us.i met him online and ya we met many times in real too,my friends know about this.i dont really think age is gonna be problem in future
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 May 2016):
IF you are 13-15 and he is 19-21, then it is a big age gap for now.
YES it's another matter if you were in your mid-20's, but you are not.
Yes, I know that in some countries women marry younger and older men. I was just wondering what you parents think of the guy.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (17 May 2016):
What age does that make you and him? Six years is a big gap at your age, maybe you would like to share more information with us on how you met your boyfriend, and also has your parents or friends met him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno they dont.u know in india when we marry age doesnt matter.8 yrs difference is max.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 May 2016):
Are your parents OK with you dating someone so much older than you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy bf is six yrs older than me.ya i think u are right i shld be more confidental and secure.ur words really encouraged me.thnks a lot
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A
male
reader, WickedPoet +, writes (16 May 2016):
You are very young so it is understandable that you might need this kind of affirmation to feel secure in the relationship. I don't know how old your bf is but I will assume you are close in age. At this point you are exploring what it means to be closely connected to another person in a relationship. It is important to learn to establish and respect boundaries between the two of you so you don't lose the "you" in the "us." You need your personal space to grow and change and so does he. Part of that, I think, is maintaining privacy relative to social media passwords. You need a place where you can just write down your private thoughts or have conversations with people that are not meant to be public. Lots of things can be misinterpreted and remember that the other people have a right to expect that what they say remains private too. The real issue, it seems to me, is a basic mistrust in your partner that he will not be able to satisfy. He gave you the pw, you looked but now the issue is he deleted the flirty conversations. Rather than keep moving the goalposts and remaining suspicious, I think you should work on yourself and become more confident and secure in who you are and what you want.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 May 2016):
I know you are young, so I will go "easy" on you.
You do NOT have any RIGHTS to his FB passwords. It's none of your business. Just like HE has NO RIGHTS to your FB either.
IF you are long distance and don't see each other in person, it's hard to build trust. Because you can only go by what HE tells you or HOW you interpret what he writes/says.
But IF you feel like you can not trust him, then WHY be in a relationship with him?
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