A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hello all I've seen this type question before but I told him I had feelings really put myself out there and he said you're very sweet. Ouch! Now I know the feelings aren't mutual so I've decided to back off and leave him alone. Is that the right thing to do? I don't want to make a fool of myself by spending time with him anymore it's been 3 months so I think moving on is best. Do you guys agree? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (10 October 2016):
If he does not feel the same way about you then yes the kindest thing for yourself would be to back off. No point spending more time with him only to get deeper feelings and end up hurt.
A
male
reader, WickedPoet +, writes (9 October 2016):
Your reaction"ouch" suggests an expectation issue. You seemed to have expected something closely resembling your expressions to him. The question of course is why would you have felt that way? We need the context of this conversation. Was there a realistic basis for your expectation?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 October 2016):
If you feel the :" you're very sweet" is meant in a patronizing or ... "gentle letdown" sort of way, then yes, I'd back away and leave him be.
It's a little hard to "translate" that sentence when we don't know the circumstances.
Were you two dating for 3 months? Or FWB? Or friends?
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (8 October 2016):
Are you guys dating or are you friends? What's happened on his end since? It may be that he was taken aback and needs time to process, but if you're not getting any signals that he's warming up to the idea (via contact or increased show of affection) then yeah, I'd move on.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (8 October 2016):
I am assuming "sweet" is not a good thing to be in your part of the world?
If it has been 3 months and he has not been in contact, then yes, you need to move on. Not much info in your post so second guessing here.
Or have you been spending time with him but he has not told you he has feelings for you? In which case, remember men are not always good at articulating their feelings. Take note of what he does more than what he says.
A bit more info would have been useful.
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