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... Send *olmar a private message | | | *olmar's profile:I am a counselor. I have my Bachelor's Degree in Psychology an minor in physiology (I thought I wanted to go to medical school) but I needed the money and stopped and worked). I worked originally as a diabetic education counselor because I have a medical background, I minored in physiology, then I came across a company that was looking for a counselor to work on their own doing domestic violence counseling. I did a lot of on the job training in groups and individually for counseling both the victim's and the perpetrator's, trained at the women's shelter for 30 hours, gaining general knowledge about abuse, and then started on my own, and was my own boss. I ran anger management groups as well as domestic violence classes for victims and perpetrators and sent recommendations for treatment and followup to the court systems. Now I have found the job that I truly love. I work on a psychiatric unit in a hospital. We also do detox. While working there, we really get a little bit of everything. People come in who are suicidal, have been raped, getting over relationships, psychotic, detoxing, anything you can think of, we deal with. And I love it. I love making a difference in people's lives and the drama and excitement make it so that it's never boring. I love the people I work with. I couldn't ask for anything more. I can't say where I live. My relationship status is unknown, seriously. I am going through what many of you are on here. My fiance decided a month before the wedding that he didn't want to be married. We were going to pre marriage counseling at the church and he had just said, how excited he was to marry me. Then the next day, he spent all of our wedding money to pay off his old credit cards (we couldn't get them back, and he couldn't use the cards, it had been to long since he paid), so I took my own money and scheduled the honeymoon anyway. He told me to go ahead, then when he found out I did it (and I was really happy to go to Hawaii), he broke up with me. I was completely humiliated and blown away. I felt like he should have told me, about everything. I KNOW he should have. Instead I was humiliated, people thought we were getting married, and so hurt that I cried about 5 days non stop, missed work, and got my first warning at work for absences. I told my supervisor that "I was upset and that I told my fiance that we were done because I wouldn't let him come before my job and ruin something that love". Which is also true. I told him that during one of those weak moments I had when I called and cried...the same things I have told others on here not to do...but I am human, and I did. Now I am getting better. I do take a sleeping pill as soon as I start to get close to bed time so that I can "zonk out before my head hits the pillow" and "not think about it, cause that's when it's the worst". Now he wants me back. I don't think I want him back, but it still hurts a lot and it's too much drama. He wanted me to go somewhere with him and his kids this weekend (my kids were with their dad). I said no. He didn't believe me! I said, I am serious, I am not coming. He said, "Grab your bathing suit, make sure you shave..lol". I just thought, "how arrogant". He expects that I will be at his beck and call. Well, no more. And I didn't go :). He texted a lot this morning but I ignored it. Ok, different subject, I have 3 wonderful kids, one is 19, a girl, a boy 16, and another girl 15. I am 36. Ya, I had them young. They are great. They gave me love when I needed it, although I would never recommend that to a teenager, I would say go to college, then think about marriage, but they have been the one contant in my life. I got married to the father of my second two, and he has always acted as dad for my first one since she was 9 months old. We ended up divorced. I was a really messed up kid back then. It's taken me a lot to get where I am now. I wish I handled it differently and knew now what I didn't know then. When I had my daughter at 17 I had dropped out of school and her father said she wasn't his. but he was. He never denied it on the birth certificate though, she looked just like him. But before I was pregnant with her, I was already dropped out. My mom wasn't really part of my life, wasn't the nicest but I don't want to get into that, and my father just didn't want me home because of his new wife. SO, I went and lived with my boyfriend. Rode the bus to school, took off, and rode the bus home to his house (he was older and had his own place). Then I just stayed there. Nobody came and got me. I was 15. So, ya, by the time I was pregnant at 16, I had dropped out of school. I had my daughter at 17 and she was beautiful. Her dad wasn't around. But I loved her so much, and I KNEW she loved me. I wanted to be a good example, so I went to school to be a nurse. I took the two years pre requisites and got into the nursing program, and found out my boyfriend at that time had been having an affair with a man. I kind of lost it, threw a phone at him, he called the police and I was charged with domestic violence. Nobody told me not to plead guilty at the time and that I could have gotten diversion, and I thought, well, I did it so I'm guilty. It was in the newspaper. I had to quit nursing because you can't have that on your record. I was 22. So, I took my classes (oh, and I earned my HS diploma through all my college classes), and I went on for an AA transfer degree in psychology because that was really the only thing that my classes still worked for. I finished my AA, transferred to a 4 yr and got my BS in psychology w/minor in physiology. I wanted to go on to medical school, medicine was my first love and I was always interested in it, but I stupidly listened to my mom who said "Your lazy, you just don't want to work" and my dad who said "You need a job, the minute mart is hiring", and I decided not to go on to prove them all wrong. My closest friends went on and they are now Psy.D's which are doctor's of psychology. I wish I would have too, but I am tired and older now, plus I have multiple sclerosis, which kind of slows me down sometimes, so I just don't have the energy to raise 2 teenagers that are still at home and work full time to support us and go to school full time. Plus have a house and too many bills. Anyway, then you go back to the top. I DIDN"T work at a minute mart! I temporarily went back to the sawmill though, til I got the job as diabetic education counselor and went from there. Since then my mother has died, and my dad has a new wife as wacky as the old one, who doesn't know me but comes in my house when I am gone rummages through my pills looking for narcotics (which I don't take by the way even though I could), and talks terrible things bout me (I just need to let it go, and I have, but the part that bother's me is, for once in my life, I just wish my dad would stand up for me. His previous wife accused him of sleeping with me...so incredibly sick...and instead of booting her on her butt, he made me leave and live with my grandmother), anyway, then she got into my car at a different time and found a warning ticket. I received the warning for going 73 in a 65, but the thing is, I wasn't from there, and the speed limit sign had dropped, so he just gave me a warning. Well, this happened at mile post 118, so she found that in my glove box and told everyone I was speeding and got in trouble for going 118 mph. I have talked to my dad, to no avail. Finally I said, I always wanted a mother, and my mom wasn't all that great, so it really hurts me that she would do this and that I didn't understand. He said he "would talk to her". Her response was, yes, she went through my cupboards, and my car, and has talked bad about me but nothing that she didn't believe was true. (she doesn't know me, and I stay away from her), and that yes, she did it, but she doesn't see anything wrong with it, and that was it. SO, I told my dad, I love you, but I can't see her or go to the family functions. But I still want to see you. Well, turns out, he told my daughter "Holly needs to understand that I am not going to pick her over my wife, so I am not going to be going to her house either if she can't". Then I told my daughter, just don't tell me, I don't want to know anything more. SO, after that, she found out from my daughter that my ex husband (the one that has been her dad since she was 3 months old) had put her on his insurance for the last 18 years as his daughter, because her real father gave her no insurance. So, she called the insurance company and reported it. Now my 19 year old daughter has no insurance and he is in trouble for having her on his insurance as his daughter for the last 18 years, when he was just trying to provide for her because her real dad wouldn't. All because of my step mom, and my ex husband was getting notices with questions, so he called and begged her not do that, and she loved it. She did it anyway. Now my daughter has no insurance and I am supposed to put her on mine. I feel like she should pay the difference since she did this, and my daughter is living with her (theyoffered to buy her a really nice car that I couldn't afford as well as some other things)but my daughter got mad at me instead, saying grandma will never do that, you know that, so I said I would do it. I still feel she should be paying for the difference or paying for the insurance herself since my daughter for some reason wants to live there. I love my daughter very much, but I see her attitude changing toward me now, she makes comments that make me feel like a failure. And she is "not allowed to drive the car to my house because it could get stolen". Well, I live in a nicer neighborhood then they do! Nothing has ever been stolen here. But it's just her way of keeping her away from me. I notice the change in attitude toward me, and to keep peace, ya, I offered to put her on my insurance, even though her grandma should be paying but wont and she messed it up, and my ex, trying to be a good man, is now responsible thanks to her for 18 years of her medical payments. There are some people that just aren't worth being on this earth and she is one of them. Her own daughter, about my age, hasn't talked to her in 20 years. I know why. All I ever wish really is that just one time my dad would stick up for me, but he never has and he never will. Its like that saying, no matter how much you want your pit bull to be a poodle, it's always going to be a pit bull. You can't change who someone is, and I can't change my dad. Truthfully, though, I am a good person. I am a great counselor cause I have been through a lot myself, I am smart, caring, I love my kids and they love me, I try really hard despite being not feeling the greatest sometimes, and I AM lucky. I have had MS for 7 years, with no lingering effects as of yet, you can't tell, other than I can. I get really tired. At first though, I couldn't move my left arm and when I looked down I get these terrible shocks. Anwyay, I support myself and my children, and I even sponsor a child. Oh, and not least, I go to church and believe in God. Someday, when my youngest is out of the house, I want to go on a mission trip to help others who are in need. So, that's some information about me, but I keep going. And, truthfully, other than right now in the middle of this breakup and I am sad and miss him, I do really well. I can't change other people, I can't turn my dad into something he's not, I am not going to punish my daughter and not get her insurance because her grandmother is very insecure and jealous, and I am NOT going to get back with my ex until he says he is seriously sorry and makes up to me some of the things he has done. If he doesn't, then I will be fine. I have God, my job, my family, and unfortunately, I need to get some friends instead of just work friends, so i need to start doing that. And I am proud of my oldest daughter too, she is a singer and guitar player like me, she is on youtube as nikitanoel90 if you want to see her play and sing, and my 15 yr old daughter is the best athlete at her school -I can brag, nobody really knows who I am, and she is so pretty and she is the only one who is in 9th grade and playing on the varsity basketball team, and she is very smart. She is going into 10th, and I think she is starter point guard this year. Even right now she is like 3 hours away at a basktball car wash and bbq because she plays on our team and a big city team and goes all that way with some other people to play with those girls. My son, he is the artistic and sensitive one. He is a genius, seriously, but he got that more from his dad then me, I am smart, his father is extremely smart, and he says he is going to make it big. He gets straight A's without even trying, but he is kind of a rebel. He is 16 and doesn't feel that parents know anything..you know the age. I just hope he can not get into any more trouble so he can be the success he has the potential to be. And of course, he's 1/2 asian, and jewish from me, so he definately likes money..lol. The 15 and 16 year olds are my little jewbodians. Now, you want to know what makes me tick, God, family, helping others, and to figure out how to have a good relationship. I expect others to be perfect I think, and they aren't. I am a counselor, I give great advice, but I am human too, and it's harder to see what I need to do when I am the one who is in the middle of it-that's why we need counselors! That's why even counselors need counselors! I never had a good role model for how a relationship is supposed to be. How much do you let go as being human? What do you complain about and what do you let go? I know the basic ones, fidelity, morality, don't kill your spouse! but I am foggy about the intricasies, that area of gray that's in between and sometimes I think I will be able to figure out and will never have a relationship that works, and I want one. I don't want to be like my mom who was married 4 times and none of them worked, and I don't want to be like my dad who has been married 3 times to crazy evil women, unfortunately one being my mother, I want a successful relationship. I think I am always thinking if they don't do what i want then they don't love me maybe? But then again, I have had some serious let downs that were pretty obvious. I don't know. I know I never felt any love growing up. It really is worse than what I said, but wont get into it. I want to have a successful relationship. Then I think too that I try to have successful relationships with some who really just "aren't the one". I put up with a lot in this last relationship that I shouldn't have, but then he always would say, he loved me, wants to marry me-but when it came down to it...NO, but he was always willing to go to counseling. But he slept all time, then when he wouldnt sleep, cause he slept all day, he would say it was my fault cause I kept him awake. I didn't. I was quiet when he slept. It was NOT my fault. I tried tucking him in at 9 to prove a point to the counselor. At 12 he was still laying there with his eyes open watching tv, so finally, it was about 11, I had started talking to him, we talked then I left and played on the computer. He went in and laid down in the bedroom. THen he told the counselor again that I kept him up all night! I was totally baffled. I said, I didn't. He is so friggin charming that the counselor believed him. Then I want to switch counselor's and he says, you just don't like what he says. YEs, I like what he says in general, about communication and teaching methods, but I don't like it when I tell him my point of view which is correct and he flat out doesn't believe me. I get so frustrated I leave there feeling worse. But my ex-fiance was one of those people who was "oh so charming in counseling" and then "I would get frustrated cause he would lie" and I would "look like it was me who was the one always upset", and he was very nice looking, so he could charm people, and he did. Then we would get back home, and he would completely change. We would make agreements IN THE COUNSELOR"S OFFICE WITH THE COUNSELOR, and when we got hom and the situation came up, he wouldn't follow through on them, or make amends when he didn't follow through like he was supposed too. Then we would go back the following week and the counselor actually said "well, Holly, we can't expect people to be honest all the time"! OMG. I stated "those were the same agreements we made last week in your office, and he said, well, we all cannot do everything the way you would like them done" Your not supposed to say that. My ex just loved it, you could see the twinkle in his eye, and I know inside he was gloating. Then he got worse after this reinforcement. The thing I was talking about were the agreements we made in HIS office, that we both signed and agreed that we would stick to until the next session...now that's the kind of thing I got. I felt like it was gang up on Holly day every time I went in there and that was wrong. I have been to counselor's. I am one. I know what's right and wrong and that whole thing was wrong. And I never had that happen with other counselors just him. So, that's my life. I really just want a good one. And I don't expect someone to do everything I say. The things I am taling about are "saying he's taking my kids to getme a present for christmas, I take his and he doesn't do it, calling up an ex and saying he cares about her more than me (I should hve left right then), then we still got back together and Valentines day came. I spent the whole day preparing. He slept and said he missed the alarm, and when he was halfway here, he said, I wanted to let you know I forgot the card (I though, why tell me this, stop and get one), saying he wanted to marry me before, then backing out-this was the 2nd time, making promise after promise and not keeping a single one, then not only not keeping them, but trying to turn it around and blame it on me (likethe sleep thing), etc. And me, saying, please, just keep your word to me, if you can't or don't want to, then just tell me. Oh, and the wedding thing, me basically begging him,,,please dont back out this time, just tell me if this isn't what you want-please. If you ruin this, the happiest day in my life I won't forgive you. Please don't do that this time....and you know what, he did. And somehow, it was MYfault. I DONT think so. The end...tired of writing. |
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Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 19 July 2009: Try googling "counselor's right to protect law"
and that includes her friend saying something.... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 19 July 2009:
I would bet canadian laws are pretty similar. You can look it up if you want, prove it, and then put the site on here. But it doesn't matter. You won't find it. It doesn't work that way. The friend has made her decision anyway. She is taki... (read in full...)
The secret cell phone...
Q. Hello, I'd like some opinions on what to do with my out-of-control relationship. I've been with my bf for 8 years and love him sooo much. We lived together for 7, then he split up with me for 6 months and moved out...said he needed time to work ...
A. 19 July 2009: xxxnyria,
Well said,
Holly... (read in full...)
I want to be more...
Q. I know there are many, many flat chested women in the world who are living life happily. However, I'm not one of them. I'm single, and it just seems so unfair that despite having a nice face/hair, taking care of my appearance, and dressing up well, ...
A. 19 July 2009: Also, I like to run and I don't want those damn things bobbing up and down like an apple in a bucket on Halloween.... (read in full...)
I want to be more...
Q. I know there are many, many flat chested women in the world who are living life happily. However, I'm not one of them. I'm single, and it just seems so unfair that despite having a nice face/hair, taking care of my appearance, and dressing up well, ...
A. 19 July 2009: oh my gosh. I am a 1/2 A. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have to go to the little girls section at target because they don't carry your size in womens, and not even the smallest cup fits? The only reason I have anything is becaue I had ... (read in full...)
Does he really want a threesome, or is it just a fantasy?
Q. I am confused. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year. We had the "fantasy" discussion. He said he wants a threesome. I asked why and he said its a fantasy. I said well I wouldn't want you to have sex with the other woman. His response ...
A. 19 July 2009: sometimes when people are "in the moment" they say things that they wouldn't necessarily do, it's just a thought. I imagine if you weren't "in the moment" you wouldn't have brought it up. But you shouldn't be upset at your husband. I am pretty ... (read in full...)
We're poor and this is affecting our relationship
Q. Hi there, I am 25 and my partner is 34. We both lost our jobs a few months ago and haven't been able to find anything since. We have cut down our outgoings to the bare minimum, and this is the only way we can survive until we find work. Our savings ...
A. 19 July 2009: I am sorry you are in this situation. I know this sounds "cliche'" but love is more valuable than money. I would trade every bit of money I have right now (it's not a lot though..:) for love. I know there is not a lot to do, but what you have ... (read in full...)
Loneliness is a drag. Will I ever stop feeling like this?
Q. I am so desperately lonely that I just can't bear it anymore, and my heart is broken because I feel like my life is passing me by. I am in tears as I write this. I wish and wish I had someone to call or tlak to, but I feel like everyone has ...
A. 19 July 2009: I also agree with Denny. It seems like you have very serious depression also and perhaps some other things going on. Sometimes it takes talk & medication to get out of this. Can you go see a doctor? Preferrably go see your primary care doctor, ... (read in full...)
What is your meaning of life?
Q. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I thought maybe reading other people's raison d'etre might help me figure my own. So does anyone here know why you exist?...
A. 19 July 2009: I think we are here to first of all serve God. God wants us to love each other and help each other. There is a verse that ends ...but the greatest of these is love. That doesn't mean that you love everyone like you love your child or spouse, but ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 19 July 2009: If she goes to see a counselor about this, then this will be off of you. It won't be your fault. A counselor will have to turn it in, it's the law. Then you don't have to have your friend mad at you.... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 18 July 2009: One other thing, I don't like to say this, because the worst thing a person can do to someone who is raped is question it. So, I apologize ahead of time. I am sorry. But, she said she is worried about her boyfriend getting out of jail and ... (read in full...)
The secret cell phone...
Q. Hello, I'd like some opinions on what to do with my out-of-control relationship. I've been with my bf for 8 years and love him sooo much. We lived together for 7, then he split up with me for 6 months and moved out...said he needed time to work ...
A. 18 July 2009: Everything he did was a choice he made. Nobody makes you look at personal sites, or get phone numbers or the like. I know you still want him back, and since you made that pretty clear, and a simple "get the heck out won't work", then I have ... (read in full...)
Do women look at teenage boys as eye-candy?
Q. Do women look at teenage boys as eye candy?...
A. 18 July 2009: Lol, yes, and it's something that has a tendency to make you feel guilty or like a complete perv. But I do, sorry, and I KNOW I am not a perv. So yes, but it's when you start thinking about acting on it that it becomes a problem. If that is the ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 18 July 2009: Also, the victim does NOT have to consent to her friend going to the cops.... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 18 July 2009: Is someone who was a victim of rape, is crying herself to sleep at night truly capable at the moment of making a good decision in her state of mind? Also, I am sorry about what happened to anonymous as a child, your parent's should have stood up ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 18 July 2009: And Cerbres, she probably shut down because she is blaming herself. How can you have worked in a rape crisis center when you don't know the first thing about telling the authorities. This will be detrmimental to her self worth. Jason is right. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell anyone she was raped? Or just stay silent?
Q. My friend told me yesterday that she had been raped two weeks ago, i was in complete shock and didnt really know what to say, i promised her i wouldnt say anything to anyone, but she says she crys her self to sleep every night since then, in worry ...
A. 18 July 2009: If this person was raped, and it is not reported, in the long run she will feel rightly or not, that she was worth nothing, because she told someone and they didn't care to do anything about it. I have been in this situation. It took me two days ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst I'm asleep
Q. i really need help! my boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst im asleep. i should explain that i have a medical heart condition that makes me faint quite a lot it also makes me very tired so i have extra naps during the day to prevent b...
A. 18 July 2009: Thank you too. I wish you good luck. Have a great day and I am really glad you talked to him and things seem to be working out.
:) Holly... (read in full...)
I think he's having sex with his daughter!
Q. i am with a man in his late 40's he has a daughter living with him who is 18 i have known this man for 15yrs now and am madly in love with him. I really feel that he is having sex with his daughter and cannot get it out of my head. I have ...
A. 18 July 2009: Ilovebowsandcherries, you should think about the situation a little more. Before anyone speaks to the daughter, you need to find out if it's true first. Whatis the basis of her accusations? Did she walk in something? What. In my case, it was ... (read in full...)
I think he's having sex with his daughter!
Q. i am with a man in his late 40's he has a daughter living with him who is 18 i have known this man for 15yrs now and am madly in love with him. I really feel that he is having sex with his daughter and cannot get it out of my head. I have ...
A. 18 July 2009: And Honeypie, my dad didn't dump her either, he made me leave. That hurt a lot. I guess I really had the greatest father. But, no, he didn't leave either, and it DIDN"T happen. So, that doesn't necessarily mean it's true. It could also mean he ... (read in full...)
How do I get over her and move on with my life?
Q. My ex and I were together for 4 years, I had the best time in my life with her she was my everything, the only person i trusted completely without a doubt. 27/11/08 she text me while I was at work to say that she had been thinking about o...
A. 18 July 2009: Please don't do anything harsh. I know you hurt. Please focus on the things in the relationship that did not work. First of all, she is NOT perfect. She cheated on you. She treated you poorly. You deserve someone who wants you. You sound like ... (read in full...)
We broke up and I think I want her back, I'm confused, what should I do?
Q. i broke off with this girl because i wasnt sure abt my feelings...i dont see her or love her in romantic way but as a bestest friend or buddy with whom i love to be all the time..i am so heartsick after dumping her and her memories take my breathe ...
A. 18 July 2009: Ok, last one to consider, is it her that you miss or are you just lonely? Do you have other friends that you can hang out with or was it just her? If you feel that you don't like to be alone, then that wouldn't be fair to her. Have you ever been ... (read in full...)
We broke up and I think I want her back, I'm confused, what should I do?
Q. i broke off with this girl because i wasnt sure abt my feelings...i dont see her or love her in romantic way but as a bestest friend or buddy with whom i love to be all the time..i am so heartsick after dumping her and her memories take my breathe ...
A. 18 July 2009: If this is a pattern, and you fear becoming close to her, then leaving would be the last thing you would want to do. When you have a fear, such as intimacy, you will not get past it until you stay long enough to overcome that fear. Eventually you ... (read in full...)
We broke up and I think I want her back, I'm confused, what should I do?
Q. i broke off with this girl because i wasnt sure abt my feelings...i dont see her or love her in romantic way but as a bestest friend or buddy with whom i love to be all the time..i am so heartsick after dumping her and her memories take my breathe ...
A. 18 July 2009: What would make her attractive to you? Is it something she can do something about or is it not? If not, I think you should let her go. Eventually you will find someone you are attracted to and that you connect with on an emotional level just as ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend how I feel about her or just keep hoping that the feelings will go away?
Q. Hey all, I'm an 18 year old male, and I'm having feelings for my female friend. We've been friends for over a year now, and I've been having these feelings for about half a year. She's the only girl I've been thinking about these past months. She...
A. 18 July 2009: Well, I don't really know the whole situation. WHY do you think you are not good enough for her first of all. Maybe you are. Does she have any friends who might know how she feels? Or maybe you could say something to someone who knows her but is ... (read in full...)
Why do women place such importance on the emotional side of sex?
Q. Okay, I have a question for both men and women. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. When it comes to sex, she claims to love it with me and tells me that I make her feel better than anyone has before - physically but then she ...
A. 18 July 2009: There is one good thing about you though, a lot of men would say that kind of thing, but never admit to it. At least you did. But if you want a good relationship, please listen and you need to literally beg for her forgiveness. That was terrible ... (read in full...)
Why do women place such importance on the emotional side of sex?
Q. Okay, I have a question for both men and women. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. When it comes to sex, she claims to love it with me and tells me that I make her feel better than anyone has before - physically but then she ...
A. 18 July 2009: Also, "YOU will decide what to do with her"? Does she have any say in that? It makes her sound like a possession not a person. She is as important as you are, no more no less. Try "we will decide what we are going to do".... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst I'm asleep
Q. i really need help! my boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst im asleep. i should explain that i have a medical heart condition that makes me faint quite a lot it also makes me very tired so i have extra naps during the day to prevent b...
A. 18 July 2009: Sorry so long. It's hard to shut off that part of me sometimes. Anyway. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Why do women place such importance on the emotional side of sex?
Q. Okay, I have a question for both men and women. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. When it comes to sex, she claims to love it with me and tells me that I make her feel better than anyone has before - physically but then she ...
A. 18 July 2009: Listen. First you need to stop projecting your insecurities on your poor girlfriend. You said you were depressed right? Chances are then that you are taking antidepressants. Most people who take antidepressants, especially the typical SSRI's, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst I'm asleep
Q. i really need help! my boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst im asleep. i should explain that i have a medical heart condition that makes me faint quite a lot it also makes me very tired so i have extra naps during the day to prevent b...
A. 18 July 2009: thank you Jason. I read what you wrote and I don't think I have much more to add. I am sorry if I came across harshly. That was not my intent. The reaction you had generally would occur if someone had been victimized at some point in their ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst I'm asleep
Q. i really need help! my boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst im asleep. i should explain that i have a medical heart condition that makes me faint quite a lot it also makes me very tired so i have extra naps during the day to prevent b...
A. 17 July 2009: I am a counselor in a mental institution and previously a domestic violence counselor, and I am female. I know what real problems are, and what is blown out of proportion. If you want to encourage her to make herself into a victim over this, and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst I'm asleep
Q. i really need help! my boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst im asleep. i should explain that i have a medical heart condition that makes me faint quite a lot it also makes me very tired so i have extra naps during the day to prevent b...
A. 17 July 2009: Good grief. I like waking up to my boyfriend having sex with me. It's a nice way to wake up. He probably had no idea you would react that way. I am really surprised other people react this way about it. But I definately agree with those who ... (read in full...)
Why do women place such importance on the emotional side of sex?
Q. Okay, I have a question for both men and women. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. When it comes to sex, she claims to love it with me and tells me that I make her feel better than anyone has before - physically but then she ...
A. 17 July 2009: Just curious. Why would you accuse her of being unfaithful when you knew she wasn't?... (read in full...)
I thought we were so happy, but niwshe's treating me so badly.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year things had been amazing, obviously we had our ups and downs. The past 3 weeks had been great.... Well I thought so. I took her out for a meal and a movie we had a really enjoyable night. ...
A. 17 July 2009: It sounds like she is having some emotional problems that have nothing to do with you. Give her some time. Don't react to her negativity. She is trying to pull you in because she is not happy. It's like putting the hook out there and she is ... (read in full...)
Is she open to the possibility of us being together? I would risk the friendship...
Q. Basically the story is that I'm a guy, and I've fallen in love with one of my best friend who is a girl. It's been a long time in the making, and recently it's become overwhelming. It's not just a crush, it's not just attraction, it's the real ...
A. 16 July 2009: Well, she may see you as a brother, so before saying anything, be patient. There are a few ideas I have. First, try changing the brother image that she has of you. It's summer right, take her swimming. When she gets out of the pool, make some ... (read in full...)
Mixed signals from my guy friend!
Q. this guy is sending mixed signals. he says we are friends but he said that i am hot and for a while he was begging me for normal pics of myself to look at, he says he has a big secret he wants to tell me that i would like but he won't tell me yet, ...
A. 16 July 2009: Unless he is just the strangest person on the planet, and I doubt he is, it really seems that he likes you but is too shy to admit it. Yes, I agree. You need to let him know you like him.... (read in full...)
He's been seeing me and his ex at the same time, now we are both pregnant!
Q. I am in a relationship with a well known Scottish Football player. When I started the relationship I knew that he had a girlfriend but he said that he was going to split up with her which he did. I found it in October that he was seeing her again. ...
A. 16 July 2009: Take it slow if you can. Tell him you don't want anyone else but you need to back up a bit and not just go back like everything's ok. He needs to respect you. Let him know you love him and want to be his partner, but that you will not accept this ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend how I feel about her or just keep hoping that the feelings will go away?
Q. Hey all, I'm an 18 year old male, and I'm having feelings for my female friend. We've been friends for over a year now, and I've been having these feelings for about half a year. She's the only girl I've been thinking about these past months. She...
A. 16 July 2009: Hey, you will lose this friendship if you say anything. You stated you "tried asking her out once" and that she'd "see how busy she was that week"? Well, from a female, I can tell you, "that's a blow off". Also, from that point on, and continuing ... (read in full...)
He's been seeing me and his ex at the same time, now we are both pregnant!
Q. I am in a relationship with a well known Scottish Football player. When I started the relationship I knew that he had a girlfriend but he said that he was going to split up with her which he did. I found it in October that he was seeing her again. ...
A. 16 July 2009: Well honey, maybe you should have paid attention initially when he said he was still seeing someone else, and at the same time was dating you. Whether or not he broke it off with her is irrelevant. There was a point where he was seeing you both at ... (read in full...)
Why do women place such importance on the emotional side of sex?
Q. Okay, I have a question for both men and women. My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. When it comes to sex, she claims to love it with me and tells me that I make her feel better than anyone has before - physically but then she ...
A. 16 July 2009: Nail in the Fence
There once was a little boy who had a bad
temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails
and told him that every time he lost his
temper, he must hammer a nail into the back
of the fence. The first day the boy had
drive... (read in full...)
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