A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am with a man in his late 40's he has a daughter living with him who is 18 i have known this man for 15yrs now and am madly in love with him. I really feel that he is having sex with his daughter and cannot get it out of my head. I have confronted him but he said that is was the sickest thing ever and i was paraniod, i am starting to think i am now, but i pick up on certain things when we are all together and it really gives me this gut feeling because i know what they are up to. He has brought his children up by himself as teenagers so i know there is a close bond with daughter fathers. i am not a jealous person and love my new family to bits but i cannot shift this gut feeling i have - please respond if you have been in the same situation. thank u
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): I wish I would of found this site back when this was posted. What have you found out within the past two years?I know this can happen, and I feel what you are going through. I was married for 17 years.. then one day, I heard him having sex with our then 15 year old daughter. I heard it, didn't witness it with my own two eyes..but hearing was enough..after 17 years of marriage you KNOW how a man cums when he's having sex..he was loud enough. I heard also conversations between our daughter and him. I know with my heart and soul that it happened. This is many years later now.. and I'm still waiting for them to talk.. they aren't. We divorced, and he will not talk to me to this day... I think he's feeling the guilt.. They still try to make it look like I'm the crazy one. I know better! All I need now is closure on this, the only way I can get this closure is when they talk... Either they are both in denial or they hate me that much that they want to see me lose my mind...
A
female
reader, Wildspices  +, writes (31 July 2009):
You've received alot of emotional responses here. It does happen and usually your "GUT INSTICTS" are correct. BUT look for the signs and find proof. Many times men do turn thier daughters into a wife figure. But not always. I know a man who wants to takes his daughter to Victoria's Secret, and got upset when she wouldn't let him. She walks in the bathroom while he's in there nude. Does she kiss him on the mouth? Does he go in her room and lock the door? Does he push you away when she is around?
Is she jealous of you? This could mean not that he's having sex with her, but she got used to being the woman of the house and feels like you invade her space. Therefore she will do what she can to get rid of you. You said that you are not jealous person, but are you in competion for the space and his affection?
It's complex situation, feel free to email me and I can help you. I've been there.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): maybe you need to be more observant and do your homework thoroughly. this is a major accusation, if it is just your imagination well thats that then. but if it is a proven "fact" and you have "evidence" then you have to address it. tactfully more for his daughters sake. sometimes we have to trust our gut instinct. i hope you are not envious of his daughters existence in his life but you are acting like a concerned unbiased mother instead.if this man has been raping his daughter you need to ensure that she is safe from him. please do the right thing here. i have heard of stories where the father takes his young daughter as his "wife" when the mother dies/ runs away or abandones her family. this is a sick situation but it happens sometimes. so please work fast , and save this girl from this nightmare.
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reader, holmar +, writes (18 July 2009):
Ilovebowsandcherries, you should think about the situation a little more. Before anyone speaks to the daughter, you need to find out if it's true first. Whatis the basis of her accusations? Did she walk in something? What. In my case, it was nothing, but sleeping with my dad in 7th grade, in my pajamas that had the zip up front and footsies on the bottom . I wanted too cause I didn't want to sleep by myself, and he really couldnt have kept me out even if he tried, I did NOT want to sleep alone, I never had. If she is seeing him still, and truly believes this happened, then your right, what is she doing still there? Unless your true intention is to get rid of the daughter, just like my dad sent me away. This sounds more like it. I feel soooo sorry for the girl. I truly hope she doesn't find out about this. It WILL damage her relationship with him for life, but if that's what your looking to do, your on the right track. Ever heard of Karma though? You know what my dad's Karma was? She left him for someone else,, took his house and his car, and go alimony. Then she moved in with her real love who didnt have a job and lived in a little trailer by the beach. So, I guess what comes around goes around.
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reader, holmar +, writes (18 July 2009):
And Honeypie, my dad didn't dump her either, he made me leave. That hurt a lot. I guess I really had the greatest father. But, no, he didn't leave either, and it DIDN"T happen. So, that doesn't necessarily mean it's true. It could also mean he is a spineless man who didn't stick up for his daughter in order to save his marriage with this horrible horrible woman. Dont talk to the daugher! OMG, I wished I had never known. THAT AS STUCK WITH ME. Just either let it go until you see it, or if you have to open your mouth, then I hope there's a such thing as God, cause if there is, then there's the opposite too, and that's where you will belong, PLEASE don't side with her. I WAS THE DAUGHTER, and certainly don't talk to the daughter about it. Leave her out, and ya, he is going to say he didn't do it, probably because he didn't. You really dont even have an ouce of proof that's actually legitimate do you? Just this "gut" feeling? Well, has it ever been wrong? Don't risk it then on this one. And to those who read this, unless she has a real valid reason, don't give her any validation. If the daughter was abused, she would have eventually told a friend or something and word would have gotten back, People take that all very seriously. She is probably a good, well adjusted kid, and like the first lady said, "you are jealous". Let them be if you have no real proof. And I hope he boots you out on the street and your ass hits the pavement so hard it echoes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): It is sick. I am 36 years old, and when I was 16 my step mother accused my father of sleeping with me. It has traumatized me to this day, to the point that I have NEVER been able to get that out of my head and it still makes me uncomfortable around my dad, just because of that mere thought. I never knew why. When I was in junior high, I was still kind of a little girl, I developed late, and I still slept with my dad when my parents got divorced. That may sound strange to some, I don't know, but it wasn't to me. Before my parents got divorced I used to sneak into their bedroom after they fell asleep, cause I had problems sleeping as a kid, I was really hyper, and I would try to crawl in with them or if they would shoosh me away, I would lay next to the bed. So, when my parents divorced, my brother went to live with my mom and I went to live with my dad. I still kept trying to sneak in. Eventually he just let me. That stopped when I was in seventh grade, my parents got divorced when I was in 6th. So, guess for about a year I still did. It gave me security an helped me sleep. Like I said, I didn't sleep well. After that, I think I just outgrew it. My step mom found out when I was 16. This was 4 years later I believe. I am not sure how she found out, or how or what came up. I am simply assuming this is where she got the idea, because she said that me and my dad were sleeping together at THAT time. I was totally disgusted. It grossed me out so bad it was hard to even talk to my dad, and it still is 20 years later a little bit. And it never happened of course. Anyway, my dad being the stand up guy that he is, made me go live with my grandmother for a while instead of booting her out. He allowed his horrible nutty wife to say that and actually made me leave. He has done things like that before also. He has never stood up for me once in my entire life I don't believe. And I became pregnant when I was 16, by 21 had 3 kids, all I wanted was to be loved. Then I decided I wanted to be a good example for my kids. I married the father of the second two, finished high school, got my AA degree, then went on to get a BS in psychology, I never got a single good job, instead when I was looking for a job after I graduated, my dad told me I should work at a minute mart, they were hiring. He was serious. Anyway, back to the point. YOU BETTER NOT HAVE SAID A WORD TO THAT POOR GIRL!!!YOU WILL SCREW HER UP FOR LIFE and make it so that SHE CAN"T EVEN BE COFORTABLE AROUND HER OWN FATHER WITHOUT THOSE TERRIBLE ACCUSATIONS GOING AROUND IN HER MIND AND MAKING HER SICK. It IS SICK. And if you tell your husband that, I hope to God he does what my dad never did and I have had a real hard time forgiving him for, which is boot your nutty ass out of the house, because that is serious accusations and it will completely ruin his daughter if she even hears of it, and if he doesn't leave her for that, it will ruin her that way too. So, Ya, I have been in the same situation and I tell you what, you better keep that mouth shut and if you can't, then get the hell out, unless you have proof that this is true, and not just a hunch because of your wacko insecurities!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): Maybe you love him so much you're jealous?
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reader, SHANIKA +, writes (16 July 2009):
I havnt been in this situation but I know a few perverts and I believe your not being paranoid-you're obviously suspicious for a reason-hopefully it's not what it seems like but if you tell me what you've noticed I'll tell you what I think-if your'e afraid of sounding silly send me a private message
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): what evidence have you found? does he go in her bedroom at night? do you hear stuff happening? what?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): This is a very serious accusation, and accusations like this if they are unfounded with destroy a relationship completely.
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reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (15 July 2009):
 if you feel this way why not take the daughter aside and speak to her about her.tell her she can tell you anything make sure she trusts you i mean the father IF he is doing this will of course deny it why wouldn't he?you don't mention the signs you see of this happening or did you just magically come up with it?i mean it's a bit of an important accusation you are throwing at him and he will probably get done for sexual abuse but you want to make sure you got your facts right before you start throwing accusations around like that.talk to the daughter though maybe she's a bit afraid and feels alone.she may spill to you if there is ANYTHING going on.hope this helps.x ilovebowsandcherries x
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 July 2009):
 WOW that is quite an accusation. What makes me think you gut could be right is the fact that he didn't dump you. I think any man who isn't doing, what you think he is doing, would be so furious that they would have dumped you.
Which in turns make me want to ask, WHY are you still seeing him if you think he is having sex with his OWN daughter?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): I havent been in that situation. That's a very serious accusation to make, and you probably shouldn't have confronted him about it unless you have facts. Lots of fathers and daughters are close, but it doesn't mean that they're having sex! Sorry but it sounds to me like you're jealous of his daughter, or the relationship he has with her, which I'm sure is NON sexual. What things are you picking up on?? If it's nothing but father - daughter stuff then it's probably in your mind! If I were in your shoes I would apologise to him.
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