A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey all,I'm an 18 year old male, and I'm having feelings for my female friend. We've been friends for over a year now, and I've been having these feelings for about half a year. She's the only girl I've been thinking about these past months. She probably doesn't know how I feel about her, we chat quite a lot, late into nights sometimes. I really want to be with her, but I don't think I'm good enough, I don't really have faith in myself. This has been taking a toll on me lately, I keep thinking about her every time of the day, at night, I just can't stop. I'm not sure what should I do, I've been trying to forget her but it just doesn't seem to work.. Should I continue pining for her? Or should I just cease all communication with her?I don't really know how she feels about me, probably as just a good friend? I've tried asking her out once, but she said she'd see how busy she was that week. Since then I've kind of lost hope.About telling her my feelings, what do you think is best? I don't want to lose her.. I've been keeping these feelings to myself, in hopes that they will go away. Please, any help would be appreciated! :) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, holmar  +, writes (18 July 2009):
Well, I don't really know the whole situation. WHY do you think you are not good enough for her first of all. Maybe you are. Does she have any friends who might know how she feels? Or maybe you could say something to someone who knows her but is closer to you, and see what they can find out. They could say, "What do you think of so and so"? and then let you know. I think that would work.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI see.. Well thanks for the advice =) i just hope i can get over this quickly, has been dragging for too long..
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A
female
reader, holmar +, writes (16 July 2009):
Hey, you will lose this friendship if you say anything. You stated you "tried asking her out once" and that she'd "see how busy she was that week"? Well, from a female, I can tell you, "that's a blow off". Also, from that point on, and continuing into now, I can GUARANTEE she knows that you like her. You already made that clear when you asked her out. So, if she has not reciprocated, then she clearly just "want's to be friends". If you push that, you will end up with you both being uncomfortable and you will lose that friendship. Like I said, I am sure she knows. If she ever approaches you, then go for it. Otherwise I think you should let it go. Women often enjoy having male friends, it's someone to talk too, and unfortunately, the males, because they like the females, will talk to them all through the night, and do special things for them, tell them what they want to hear and boost them up" when their female friends wouldn't. Do you think you have done more than her female friends would do for her? If this is the case, then I am sorry, but that's what's going on. It doesn't mean she doesn't care for you, or wants to be your friend, I am sure she truly does care and wants to be friends, but that's it. If you don't think you can't handle just being her friend, and don't want to embarrass yourself when you confront her with your feelings and she makes up another excuse and then starts avoiding you, then, your only option get out of it so you don't get hurt. You don't need to tell her it's because you like her, like I said, she knows that. Just tell her you need to focus on other things. Guess what. If you REALLY do want her, that might actually be the only way to get her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. She may miss you and where she thought that she only wanted to be friends with you before, she may reconsider once your not around picking her up all the time. Anyway, that's my true and honest advice. But no matter what, like I said, if she already made up an excuse before (she would have MADE time if she was interested), she knows. So telling her would probably make the friendship uncomfortable and she would bolt.
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A
male
reader, braudboy +, writes (16 July 2009):
i had the same thing. i was really good friends with this girl i met at a camp. that was 3 years ago. i realized i had feelings for her after 3 years of friendship, and i asked her out. it turns out she had feelings for me 2 years before that, we've been together 8 months and still going. if u have feelings for her, tell her. she might be the same way.
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