My boyfriend never initiates sex!
Q. Dear agony aunts and uncles I am having a slight problem with my bf he never initiates sex. We have been together for almost a year and I can remember only about five times when he has and we have sex at least four times a month I asked him why ...
A. 28 January 2014: It sounds to me like the bigger problem is that you feel unattractive around him. I've dated someone with a lower sex drive than me. It didn't work out for various reasons unrelated to the sex drive problem. (I'm now with someone who has a sex drive ... (read in full...)
We're having some problems in the bedroom and I'm afraid it's my fault
Q. Hello! I've been going out with my boyfriend for 4 months now, I was a virgin before him so I'm kind of lost regarding sex issues. The problem is he has problems getting an erection or sometimes he loses it half way through sex. He says it never ...
A. 25 November 2013: So, a few thoughts on your post: 1) Believe him when he says it's not your fault. It could be something going on at work, a self-confidence issue, or a chemical imbalance from a medicine he's taking that you don't know about. Until he specifi... (read in full...)
Sex is the best ever but boyfriend is treating me badly! Do I leave or stay for the sex?
Q. Hello everyone. I am in a really hard situation and it is eating away at me emotionally. I am in a relationship with a guy who I care about very much. The relationship is 6 months old although I had known him for a year before that. He has s...
A. 15 November 2013: I was in a situation a lot like this about a year ago. However, the guy I was dating was 23 and was still playing around on the side and lining up girls in case we failed. Five days away and only one message is a lot. If you can have a straight ... (read in full...)
How can I go back to being who I used to be except better? I'm normally not obsessive so I'm so shocked at my behavior.
Q. I used to be very independent, made my own rules, did my own thing, I was very happy. But the relationship progressed with my boyfriend, despite loving him and him loving me. I noticed I have become so obsessed and I feel horrible. My obsession has ...
A. 12 October 2013: First of all, I want you to know that things are going to be okay. I have a feeling that you're going to feel a lot better when you start your job again and the good news is that is within a week.
Here are some of my suggestions until that sta... (read in full...)
Suggestions on how to decoy him for a few minutes?
Q. hi I need some suggestions... I want to do something special for my boyfriend for his birthday we are going out of town on vacation and will be at a nice hotel and resort. I want to decorate the room really romantic for him but i need an excuse t...
A. 18 August 2013: You could tell him you're tired and was hoping he could grab some coffee while you freshen up in the shower? It would especially work if you drove from somewhere. Just be sure to be extra sweet if you do it so he doesn't get mad that you're sending ... (read in full...)
Why do I still feel sad, miss him and think about him?
Q. After three months of breakup, my ex contacted me saying he misses me and still loves me. He dumped me without giving me any explanation. A month after we broke up, i asked him for closure and he told me i was clingy, insecure and controlling (we ...
A. 18 August 2013: I think you're doing the right thing. I've been both the dumpee and the dumper in relationships in which there was regret afterwards. Here's my thought: this regret generally happens when someone is at a low point after dumping their significan... (read in full...)
Self esteem ruined due to ex and his new play thing. Advice?
Q. Me and my ex broke up about 2 and a half months ago. We did start seeing eachother again for a month but we now haven't spoken for around about a month. We broke up due to him being a serial cheat and even tho...
A. 14 August 2013: I'm so glad to hear that. It sounds like you're taking the proper steps and being a good friend. I wish you all the best. Keep working on it and I know you'll get to a good place again. You sound like you're responding to all this in a very mature ... (read in full...)
How can I trust him when he was having webcam sex with his ex for months?
Q. Hi, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to handle my situation. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I thought we were happy in every aspect, and I could tell him anything, and I thought also could tell me anything. He ...
A. 13 August 2013: If he doesn't show remorse, I don't think you can trust him. He didn't want to come clean and even tried to preemptively lie to cover his tracks. He's blaming everyone other than himself. "Moments of weakness" is such a lame excuse. You're yo... (read in full...)
Self esteem ruined due to ex and his new play thing. Advice?
Q. Me and my ex broke up about 2 and a half months ago. We did start seeing eachother again for a month but we now haven't spoken for around about a month. We broke up due to him being a serial cheat and even tho...
A. 13 August 2013: One more thought to help you, in case you're still checking this: in re to your concern about no one nice ever liking you since no one nice has yet, please don't fret over that. I didn't have my first boyfriend until 18. He ended up being wonderful, ... (read in full...)
Self esteem ruined due to ex and his new play thing. Advice?
Q. Me and my ex broke up about 2 and a half months ago. We did start seeing eachother again for a month but we now haven't spoken for around about a month. We broke up due to him being a serial cheat and even tho...
A. 12 August 2013: I have to just echo what WiseOwlE said. I went through a bit of a rough patch this year that was triggered by a break up. Even though the relationship wasn't that serious, it set other issues in motion and I couldn't deal with it all myself. It c... (read in full...)
I slept with my boss who has a girlfriend. Now what?
Q. Ive had a major crush on my boss at work for a while. A few weeks back when he was drunk he started texting me and said he would like to take me out one time. I didnt agree as wasnt sure whether dating my boss would be a good move. Anyway last nig...
A. 11 August 2013: I want to start off by saying that what you did was objectively wrong. I understand that sometimes, you get into bad situations and you do things that you normally wouldn't but that doesn't change the situation. I think you're at a crossroads here. ... (read in full...)
I asked out a girl at work and she backed out at the last moment. How do I act around her now?
Q. Hi all, mine is a simple question but really boggling for me. A girl at work has been real flirty with me for a while now, over two or three months. Finally i asked her out but at the last minute she flaked despite me earlier telling her that...
A. 11 August 2013: After you invited her and she agreed, you told her you wouldn't respect her if she didn't show up? That strikes me as odd. It seems sort of pushy and like you're automatically thinking the worst of her. I wouldn't necessarily be ecstatic if a guy ... (read in full...)
Do I ask her for a kiss or just lean in and go for it?
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been a couple for 1 week, and she is my first girlfriend. I've never kissed a girl, had sex, anything. I think I've gotten passed the fear/nervousness of having my first kiss, but my question is: do I ask her or do I ...
A. 27 July 2013: Just make your move. If she's your girlfriend, she's already sort of agreed to the kissing part of it. (There are notable exceptions to that rule, but that's the norm.) Do it with some confidence but slowly enough that she can move away if she ... (read in full...)
Whichever answer I give is the wrong answer!
Q. Whenever I meet American girl on dating site and we get along well, I get confused when she asks me would like to travel to US? If I say yes, they suspect me approaching her for getting to US. When I answer no, then they thing I don't want to meet ...
A. 27 July 2013: Maybe you could meet somewhere in between? Find a nice place in Europe, get two hotel rooms close to each other and just focus on exploring the city together? It could be fun if you both get to have an entire city to explore and experience something ... (read in full...)
She's been acting her age and it's getting on my nerves
Q. ive been with my girlfriend just over a month now, shes 17 and im 20 shell be 18 in december. we were friends before we got together and everythings been great. shes my first ever girlfriend and its been great but now im having thoughts of leaving ...
A. 22 July 2013: If you *really* want to fix these problems, I would wait until you two are alone and can have a serious conversation. Tell her that you like her personality a lot but there are some things that she does which you think are disrespectful. See how she ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that my feelings swing from being in love with my boyfriend to not feeling so in love with him and thinking about my former long-term crush?
Q. Hay everybody, the mess i'm in right now is a bit complicated and i really hope someone could give me some useful advice. I'm 23 and before i met my current boyfriend of 4 months i've had a crush on one guy for 4 years. I've actually been singl...
A. 22 July 2013: I do think that having swings in relationships is normal. It sounds more like some days you're stressed out and don't have the time/energy to concentrate on your relationship and how lucky you are so the feelings aren't at the top of your mind. I've ... (read in full...)
LDR problem, I love him dearly but not sure if he loves me, and don't know what to do. Should I keep on waiting?
Q. I met my Aussie boyfriend 2 and a half years ago. He first flew here and chased after me after 2 months of talking. I was very smitten. We had our ups and downs in our LDR and 16 months forward he flew me to Aus for the first time and took me ...
A. 18 July 2013: What do you think the source of his insecurity is? The way I see it, it could be one of two sources:
1) He really does think you're too good for him and he doesn't know how to handle it. He's afraid to give himself over to you because he does... (read in full...)
The guy I'm dating sleeps all the time! Should I keep seeing him?
Q. I just started talking to this guy about 3 weeks ago. He lives about 4 hours away from me so he came to visit me for the weekend. And i have seen he sleep all the time. Every time we sit down for any reason he just goes to sleep. Even when we ...
A. 8 July 2013: This seems very bizarre to me. I would recommend telling him that you appreciated him coming to see you and that it meant a lot to you. I would then try to casually bring up the fact that you felt as though he was so tired that you didn't feel like ... (read in full...)
He's upset that I don't just accept everything that he says but he's got his own issues! How do we work things out?
Q. Soooooo my boyfriend are not seeing eye to eye on a few things. For example, he doesn't like me watching 'Long Island Medium' because it goes against his religious beliefs. I'm agnostic, and I am open about reconverting back to christianity but I'm ...
A. 8 July 2013: You were saying a lot in these few paragraphs so I'm going to try to sort through a lot of the topics as best I can. Re: the religion issue: Religion can be a really big deal for some people. I would tell him that you know you two feel different t... (read in full...)
How do I get my clingy, overbearing and unwilling-to-change-that boyfriend to calm down while I'm visiting my parents?
Q. Hello all, I am wondering what you guys would consider normal boundaries and communication frequency in a relationship. Me and my boyfriend live together near our college, but I came back home for a couple of weeks to visit my family. He hates it ...
A. 7 July 2013: First of all, I think you need to reassess your last statement. Your age indicates that you're between 26-29 so it's not that you have "no choice to try to make this work". This guy has serious problems and if you want to make this symptom better, ... (read in full...)
Will my promiscuous past put off decent men?
Q. So I am 21, slept with 25ish guys (never counted properly because I am too scared to. I just know its less than 30 more than 15) Anyway. I started talking to boys in a more than friends type of way when I was 15 and since then I have spoken to about ...
A. 14 February 2013: Don't worry about who you've slept with. It's not something to be embarrassed about. It's something that you wanted at the time and now you don't want it anymore. That's fine. You're turning a different page. It makes you a part of who you are and ... (read in full...)
I feel completely heartbroken, I'd accepted that we had broken up but to be lied to repeatedly just for sex?
Q. This all happened within the space of three weeks. So, basically I was in a relationship with this guy for just over two years, we both loved each other but obviously argued occasionally, as people do. One day, he calls me to have a chat, everythi...
A. 13 February 2013: I'm going to have to agree with Sage. If you really are "worried that he truly has no feelings for me at all," it doesn't matter how you feel in this instant, he does NOT belong in your life. No matter his motivation, he did and said terrible things ... (read in full...)
Do nice guys really finish last?
Q. Hello. I know I'm a very nice person at a great heart, because towards everyone I treat them well, except those who are not worth being nice to or who pissed me off. I am smart, kind and being sensitive is my weakness. I have researched over ...
A. 29 January 2013: "Nice guys" aren't really all that nice in most cases. Don't try to be a "nice guy." Be a good person, like someone else said. See attached: http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/13-reasons-why-nice-guys-are-the-worst You don't need to give a girl ... (read in full...)
I feel completely heartbroken, I'd accepted that we had broken up but to be lied to repeatedly just for sex?
Q. This all happened within the space of three weeks. So, basically I was in a relationship with this guy for just over two years, we both loved each other but obviously argued occasionally, as people do. One day, he calls me to have a chat, everythi...
A. 27 January 2013: Then, even if he likes her, it will probably be only a matter of time until he wakes up and realizes that she's not as good as you are. I really am sorry that this happened to you. I think it's just important to remember that you don't want to be... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is cold and distant, and goes quiet for weeks at a time! How can I let him go?
Q. My boyfriend of two years is distant, cold, doesn't call or text for 3 weeks now because of something I said but I apologised. I think he's always finding faults in me, even the tiniest. I think its rather childish, he always does this, he goes qui...
A. 23 January 2013: I agree with everything Kenny said and have my own bit to add: either he has severe emotional/anger problems (in which case, I would seriously consider whether or not you want to be stuck with someone like that for even longer) or he doesn't care ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is extremely distrustful and irrational. How do I deal with him?
Q. My boyfriend is driving me crazy Ok, we've been dating for 2 years. There was an incident with another guy at the beginning of our relationship, he says I cheated, I say I didn't (I didn't even sleep with the guy, we just talked and when I found...
A. 19 January 2013: I'm concerned because this sounds like the beginning of a lot of abusive relationships. He's isolating you and trying to control you. He sounds like he has anger problems. Please be careful.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to go to Amsterdam for a stag party for gorgeous hookers and strippers
Q. Hey, this is probably a divided opinion sort of question haha, but please try to respect my opinion. :) My boyfriend of 4 months has on occasion openly "gawked" over other girls, girls 1000000x more attractive than me. On top of this, not once (...
A. 19 January 2013: I know that it sucks to be put down by someone you care about. That same thing just happened to me (bad break up earlier this week). However, what I'm trying to tell myself is that a relationship should make you happy. It should make you feel go... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but I've been obsessing over this co-worker in my head. Is it because I miss "the chase"?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for the last six years. We pretty much became adults together; we started dating after high school, went through college at the same time, and started our careers at the same time. We've shared everything together, ...
A. 7 January 2013: I was in nearly the exact same situation this summer. My best advice: slip in that you have a boyfriend some how. Try to do it directly to his face so he feels like you're being honest. I lost my boyfriend of 3 years over a "new coworker" situat... (read in full...)
Can I still get her back? Am I stupid to want her back?
Q. Three months ago I heard my ex flirting on the phone with a man (saying stuff like "I'm thinking about you too", they had obviously been meeting), which really hurt me and made me write a touching goodbye message to her. She told me she loves me...
A. 2 January 2013: Two weeks is a long time to give someone the silent treatment, so I understand why she is angry at you. However, what she is doing is just as bad as what you did.
I would write her a message, tell her you care and that you want to be toge... (read in full...)
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