A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is driving me crazy Ok, we've been dating for 2 years. There was an incident with another guy at the beginning of our relationship, he says I cheated, I say I didn't (I didn't even sleep with the guy, we just talked and when I found out he had feelings for me I cut all contact). Well he says I played with his fears and his trust and now he doesn't trust me at all, I can't be alone bc he starts texting me and calling just to ask "are you with another man?", this happens like 2-3 times in just one hour. Most recently, I was in a class along with 50 other people yesterday, the class teacher, who is also a student, asked for all our mails so he could send info, obviously I gave him my mail. My bf was mad bc i didn't tell him at the moment I put my mail on the list, but told him when I got the first mail. We were texting about this last night and I decided to stop answering him until he realized how paranoid and unreasonable he was being (I explicitly said this to him). Just now he texted me and told me to choose between erasing the mails, and him... How the fuck am I supposed to deal with this situation?? Can't he realize on his own that he's just behaving like a child?? I do love him, but this is way out of my hands... What should I do? Should I come to him and tell him to stay and work things out? I feel that's just congratulating him for being irrational. Or should I wait for him to do something about this?? I really don't know... I'm 19 and he's 21
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): I really appreciate your answers... Thank you very much. I'll update you now, after hours of not talking or texting I got a mail from him, he just said he was sorry, I replied "ok", but changed all my passwords (Facebook, twitter, mail accounts, etc) and told him he would not be able to check my phone anymore until he gains that privilege again (If he ever does). He asked me to help him recover and I said I was already doing my part respecting him and being open and loyal to him, and told him it was his turn to do something about his problem, because it's his life it's going to destroy, not mine, if he can't see this, then it has nothing to do with me.I can't break up with him now because I really don't want to do it over texting, i'll see him in 2 days, and then I'll explain him why I cannot be with him. Also, a funny thing happened, while my bf was mad, a different guy from another class texted me. I'm not saying I'm going to start a new relationship right now, I want and need to be alone for a while. but I think is a funny coincidence that just at the moment that I'm thinking of breaking up, another guy starts to text me.
A
female
reader, dcgirl15  +, writes (19 January 2013):
I'm concerned because this sounds like the beginning of a lot of abusive relationships. He's isolating you and trying to control you. He sounds like he has anger problems. Please be careful.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 January 2013):
 Here's your key question: "Can't he realize on his own that he's just behaving like a child??"
The answer is "No." And, beyond that, YOU are stuck with the decision of either STAYING with this child (who I predict will take a LOT LONGER time to grow up!)... OR, you can cut your losses now, and dump him..
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (19 January 2013):
It's essential that you dump this guy. You cannot let him control you in this way. He has some deep rooted problems in that head of his, and he has no call or right to take them out on you. He needs professional help with a psychiatrist. You can't stop this guy from doing what he's doing, and all that will happen is that this will continue to get worse for you.
Move on from him.
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