I've recently discovered inappropriate messages between my boyfriend and other girls
Q. My boyfriend left his snapchat logged in on my ipad and my friend was over using it and thought it was my snapchat and saw some things that were quite questionable. There are many message from him to other girls telling them they look extra hot ...
A. 23 February 2015: I may be wrong, but the whole idea of snapchat is to see the other persons message for a limited number of seconds and it deletes itself and you can't see the outgoing messages after they are sent.... How did your friend find this? I have never seen ... (read in full...)
Should I let my irresponsible sister move in with me?
Q. Hello, ok after suffering years of abuse, I have decided to move out of the turbulent man's house I have called father for years. The issue is I have enough cash to set my self up...tho am still seeking employment but the things is I have a twin s...
A. 22 February 2015: I think you should move out alone and offer to let your sister move in if and when she saves up enough for a month or two's rent, plus enough for other expenses.
Good on you for trying to get out of there - I know how difficult it can be.... (read in full...)
How do I make it work with a 24 year old man I met in Cuba?
Q. Hi, I am a 16 (nearly 17) year old girl from London, UK... I have visited Cuba 7 times and I have some very good friends there. In June I met a guy aged 24 who worked at the hotel I stay in who was very sweet. I didn't stay in touch with him but ...
A. 22 February 2015: If you were 21 you could each afford to travel back and forth, it would be different, but a 24 year old shouldn't see a 16/17 year old as dating material because you're not at the same stage in life. That's not a bad thing about you, but it's ... (read in full...)
I need advice about my married lover and his intentions
Q. hello my name is sweet c and i have a problem that i need help with. ok i met this guy and we hit it off the first night and we ended up sleeping together the first night. but the sex was different because he was having a hard time getting up. so w...
A. 22 February 2015: "i found out that he was married. that really dint bother me to much. but we have been kicking for the last five months and i've met some of his family and kids" - why doesn't it bother you and who are you being introduced to the family and children ... (read in full...)
I'm uncomfortable saying his name because of my accent
Q. This is going to sound really stupid but I'm genuinely finding it difficult to say the name of someone I've just started talking to platonically online. I haven't met them yet and, if I will it will be a while away, so I don't need to say it but t...
A. 22 February 2015: I think the OP means that she knows how it's pronounced, but her regional accent (still in the UK?) means that it sounds strange to her when she says it - am I right, OP?
I've known someone called Luca (he and his parents are English, but his they... (read in full...)
I'm worried about what my friends will think of my much older father
Q. Hey, I am having trouble... My dad, well, he's a bit older than most dads, I'm a teenager, and he's in his 70's. I love my dad, but this has made me so so so self conscious! Anyway, it's my birthday in a few days, and I'm having a party with my ...
A. 22 February 2015: I understand why you're worried; people can be judgemental but, as long as they don't say anything to you or anyone else (in the form of mocking) you have no issue. If they do say something mean, they aren't a very good friend.
Try not to worry :)... (read in full...)
Christians, four months dating, and 23 year age difference. He keeps talking marriage.
Q. My question is about how age gap relationships work long term. I am 26 and my other half is 49, we are both Christians and enjoy spending time with each other. Weither we are dating or working for the Church he is a full time Evangelist so his life ...
A. 22 February 2015: In terms of children, please read this young girl's post about loving her much older father, but still feeling a bit embarrassed with him meeting her friends: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-worried-about-what-my-friends-will-think.html... (read in full...)
Will my professor notice if I stop admiring him?
Q. hi! I am a student n I have a huge crush on a professor. He has come to know dat i like him .He also knows that i look at him. He is single n he is 5 years elder to me. By any chance will it affect him if i stop looking at him ? Will he notice that ...
A. 22 February 2015: Your other post mentioned this professor and I think it's a good idea to stop admiring him, whether he notices or not. I don't think you should try for a relationship with him, so doing it to see if he mentions missing them is a little silly, in my ... (read in full...)
When it comes to sex, what is considered appropriate for my age?
Q. Hi, So recently me and my boyfriend have become really close and have started to try new things. Whenever he comes over we make out and we gotten to the point where he's sucked my breasts. We get close and do lots of touchy feely things and yes, ...
A. 22 February 2015: I think that anything involving a penis or vagina is too much for your age - reason being that you may not regret this bit, but oral(mouth)/manual(hands/fingers)/penetrative sex should be left until you're of legal age. That said, I think the legal ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend, but I'm starting to think I !like girls more than guys.
Q. I have a boyfriend, but I'm starting to think I !like girls more than guys. Im so confused. Anyone got some advice?...
A. 22 February 2015: Do you love your boyfriend? If yes, stay and deal with the girls thing when you break up. If you still think about girls now, break up and try dating girls - but, take it slow and stay safe (protection) either way.
... (read in full...)
My mom is an attention whore on the beach and it botherd me!
Q. My mom likes to wear skimpy bikinis to the beach! Ok so this has been going on my whole life but now that I'm beginning to mature it's starting to matter to me. My mom wear's the smallest bikinis in the world it seems even when we are going as a f...
A. 22 February 2015: Anon before me, I don't think the responses were harsh - the ones I've read, at least - but I would say that the OP needs to let her mum live her life the way she wants, regardless of how awkward this is for her child to see. She's her mum first, ... (read in full...)
Christians, four months dating, and 23 year age difference. He keeps talking marriage.
Q. My question is about how age gap relationships work long term. I am 26 and my other half is 49, we are both Christians and enjoy spending time with each other. Weither we are dating or working for the Church he is a full time Evangelist so his life ...
A. 22 February 2015: Honestly, I'm all for age gap relationships if both people are over 25, but it only works long term if neither want children or have already had the children they want (in previous relationships). I say that because (in my opinion) it wouldn't ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of my bad reputation in a small town? My new Gf's father said I should not be dating his daughter
Q. I'm 21 and I just started dating an amazing girl. Unfortunately I did a lot of stupid stuff in my past to make fathers not want me near their innocent daughters. She is 18, a senior in high school and lives at home. Her father liked me the fir...
A. 21 February 2015: Your past essentially says: this guy is a danger to my daughter and/or her reputation.
Time, patience and actions are the only thing that can help you move on from your past and the reputation that follows.
You didn't tell us your past - is t... (read in full...)
My mom is an attention whore on the beach and it botherd me!
Q. My mom likes to wear skimpy bikinis to the beach! Ok so this has been going on my whole life but now that I'm beginning to mature it's starting to matter to me. My mom wear's the smallest bikinis in the world it seems even when we are going as a f...
A. 21 February 2015: I'm closer to your age than hers but, when you're her age, have kids and end up single parenting (hopefully, you won't have to), you'll realise why she appreciates the attention - just like you probably will in a few years, when slightly older men ... (read in full...)
How do I get over 10 years older than me crush and give the guy a chance?
Q. I've been question my sexuality for about 7/8 years now - since I was around 9 years old. I gradually came to accept that whatever happens will happen, and I'll fall for who I fall for. I've never had physical attraction to guys, yet I have women ...
A. 20 February 2015: Holiday crushes are very normal - they'll fade with time :)
How much older is this boy? If he's more than two years older, I think you should pass on him too. If he's within two years of you, just allow yourself a few months or so to get over her... (read in full...)
My mom is an attention whore on the beach and it botherd me!
Q. My mom likes to wear skimpy bikinis to the beach! Ok so this has been going on my whole life but now that I'm beginning to mature it's starting to matter to me. My mom wear's the smallest bikinis in the world it seems even when we are going as a f...
A. 20 February 2015: Don't call your mum an "attention wh*re"; it's rude and unfair - regardless of how she is on the beach.
Why shouldn't she show off? I'm not saying it's appropriate to wear around your children, but you can't change it and, depending on her age,... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to my rich grandfather for help?
Q. I don't come from a wealthy family. The only person in my whole family who has been well off is my grandfather. He's very rich. However, I rarely speak with him. He's a somewhat distant person from our family and I've always felt rather weird around ...
A. 20 February 2015: Is this you also: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-are-some-ways-i-can-make-extra.html ?... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to my rich grandfather for help?
Q. I don't come from a wealthy family. The only person in my whole family who has been well off is my grandfather. He's very rich. However, I rarely speak with him. He's a somewhat distant person from our family and I've always felt rather weird around ...
A. 20 February 2015: If you've been taking care of yourself all of this time, why can't you do it now?
If you do go and ask for money, ask to work for him, not for a handout or loan.
The fact that he has money means that he earned it - you don't deliberately tak... (read in full...)
How can I stop cum leaking out after sex?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, but there is this thing thats been annoying me for some time now... Whenever my boyfriend cums in me after sex, it never like stays in me. Whenever I stand up I can feel it leak out, especial...
A. 20 February 2015: Embarrassing? "What goes up must come down" - no pun intended.
You really should be using condoms (and birth control) every time until you've both been tested for STDs, have *seen* each other's results and are ready for pregnancy (have you spok... (read in full...)
So many broken promises from my Bf. After 4.5 years how do I break up with him?
Q. Modnote: some graphic language removed from post, without changing the meaning. . . . . . . . . . . I am so sick of the rubbish that comes out of my boyfriend's mouth. I'm at my breaking point and want OUT of this relationship. I'm miserable with h...
A. 20 February 2015: "Bob, this isn't working out any more; we want different things and I'm going to leave, so that we can find them separately. Good luck."
Then don't give in to anything he may say to try to keep you around.... (read in full...)
At the very beginning, a year ago, I said I was single. But that wasn't true back then. Do I tell him, now, about this lie?
Q. Hello, So I am looking for a little guidance on a problem that is eating away at me. I have been in a relationship with my significant other for a year. This relationship is by far the best one that I have ever been in and my boyfriend is trul...
A. 20 February 2015: Ask yourself one thing: is a relationship based on lies truly a successful one?
I know it will be difficult, but surely he deserves the truth? Let *him* decide if you deserve him.... (read in full...)
How can I help our best friend who’s fallen ill and is being used by a gold-digger sociopath?
Q. For several months my husband’s and my best friend has had all sorts of problems and we stubbornly stood by him doing everything we can to help him. The only positive development is that he had left a horrible marriage behind, everything else ...
A. 20 February 2015: I'm glad you seem to have come round to your "correct place" in his life because you were doing more than friends should - kind of butting in to his relationship. The fact here is that, even though he's vilnerable right now, he is still competent ... (read in full...)
He says he'll end it if I abort the pregnancy
Q. pls guys i need ur help, i am 23 nd my boyfrnd is 27 we have been dating for about 3yrs now, we love each other so much, he has promised to marry me nd we dont have any problem. He is into a very good biznes, nd i am currently working. We both ...
A. 20 February 2015: By the way, I do mean if you're not *ready* for marriage, not that you don't *want* marriage at all; I'd advise marriage before kids (even if mostly for stability than a strong desire to be married), but some people just really don't *want* to ever ... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to my rich grandfather for help?
Q. I don't come from a wealthy family. The only person in my whole family who has been well off is my grandfather. He's very rich. However, I rarely speak with him. He's a somewhat distant person from our family and I've always felt rather weird around ...
A. 20 February 2015: I'd agree with the Anon, except for the fact that you don't *need* the money; it would just be a shortcut and that taking money from his doesn't mean you'd bother to strike up a relationship after all this time.
I'm not saying it was all your fau... (read in full...)
He says he'll end it if I abort the pregnancy
Q. pls guys i need ur help, i am 23 nd my boyfrnd is 27 we have been dating for about 3yrs now, we love each other so much, he has promised to marry me nd we dont have any problem. He is into a very good biznes, nd i am currently working. We both ...
A. 20 February 2015: Furthering your education will be put off and, quite honestly, I don't think you're ready to be a parent of you're not ready for marriage.
Don't think about what others will do; you have to start thinking like a single mother. What will you do i... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to my rich grandfather for help?
Q. I don't come from a wealthy family. The only person in my whole family who has been well off is my grandfather. He's very rich. However, I rarely speak with him. He's a somewhat distant person from our family and I've always felt rather weird around ...
A. 20 February 2015: If you were my granddaughter who hadn't tried to talk to me, I wouldn't give you my money. I have that relationship with my dad's side; they only call when they need something - personally, I'd only help them if they were ill to the point of being ... (read in full...)
How small is small for a man's penis if the man is 5 foot and 11 inches and 195 pounds?
Q. Hello everyone sorry to be the umpteenth guy asking this question but how small is small when it comes to penis size? Im 23 and have had sex with over 20 girls but its always been in the back of my head that I'm unproprtional and small. My size is ...
A. 19 February 2015: You're being superficial - I hope you know that.
To you, having slept with over 20 girls and "going for fitties", is important - as though it makes up for your "small" penis. It doesn't; it makes you look (to me, anyway) superficial for no reaso... (read in full...)
How can I help our best friend who’s fallen ill and is being used by a gold-digger sociopath?
Q. For several months my husband’s and my best friend has had all sorts of problems and we stubbornly stood by him doing everything we can to help him. The only positive development is that he had left a horrible marriage behind, everything else ...
A. 19 February 2015: This *is* his decision - you all just don't like it, but are accepting it. He's not mentally incompetent - he *knows* what she's doing and, right now, that's what he wants. If he really wants to live on his own, mental illness or not, he'll do it - ... (read in full...)
I told my married lover I am free to see others and he said he wants a future with me. Is he stringing me along?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for 5 years I have divorced my husband but my lover is still with his family, he said he cannot leave his children until they are older and less dependant on him, he does idolise his kids.I said I was free to see ...
A. 19 February 2015: I'm sorry that you've got to hear this, OP, but you're old enough to know better.
There is no reason to keep your kids living in a home where their parents aren't happy because the kids can pick up on it, no matter how young. This means that he ... (read in full...)
I'm about to get married, and my fiancé has started to smoke weed- how do I deal?
Q. I began dating my now fiancé 7 years ago when we were 18. We both had very strong Catholic morals, including both being extremely against any form of smoking. Well, I found out he has lied to me for over a year and has started to smoke weed on ...
A. 19 February 2015: I was at college with 5 potheads around your age. They were fairly nice people when they weren't high, but they'd come into college and go to work high and most tried other drugs because they enjoyed the feeling weed gave them. I know that two from ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's child is 15 months old and her tantrums are frazzling my nerves!
Q. So I've recently started dating a woman about 4 months ago. Things between us are fantastic. We get along amazingly and chemistry between us is definitely there. However, there's one thing I'm having a hard time admitting is a problem for me. Her ...
A. 19 February 2015: OP, it wasn't necessity. Necessity is no reason to rush a relationship, especially when a child is involved. The mother could have hired a babysitter once a week, spent a few hours on dates with you or making out at your place, but it wasn't ... (read in full...)
How can I help our best friend who’s fallen ill and is being used by a gold-digger sociopath?
Q. For several months my husband’s and my best friend has had all sorts of problems and we stubbornly stood by him doing everything we can to help him. The only positive development is that he had left a horrible marriage behind, everything else ...
A. 19 February 2015: You haven't accepted the situation because youre still bashing her. Like I said, he *is* consciously keeping her there. He may have a mental illness, but it's still his choice to have her there, she isn't forcing him to. Sure, she seems ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's child is 15 months old and her tantrums are frazzling my nerves!
Q. So I've recently started dating a woman about 4 months ago. Things between us are fantastic. We get along amazingly and chemistry between us is definitely there. However, there's one thing I'm having a hard time admitting is a problem for me. Her ...
A. 19 February 2015: They don't live together, WiseOwlE; they're just having way too many sleepovers at the OP's place :)... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's child is 15 months old and her tantrums are frazzling my nerves!
Q. So I've recently started dating a woman about 4 months ago. Things between us are fantastic. We get along amazingly and chemistry between us is definitely there. However, there's one thing I'm having a hard time admitting is a problem for me. Her ...
A. 19 February 2015: Should have clarified that I meant that I don't think you're cut out for this situation. You don't seem patient enough to deal with the baby's behaviours, but mostly because she shouldn't really have introduced you to baby yet, let alone be staying ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's child is 15 months old and her tantrums are frazzling my nerves!
Q. So I've recently started dating a woman about 4 months ago. Things between us are fantastic. We get along amazingly and chemistry between us is definitely there. However, there's one thing I'm having a hard time admitting is a problem for me. Her ...
A. 18 February 2015: "This kid"? No, you're not cut out for it.... (read in full...)
After these two incidents years apart, I'm not sure that my B/f's happy and committed. What do you guys think I should do?
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years was sending flirty text messages with another woman, about how he was going to be in her area soon and how he wanted to see her in a bikini etc. She stopped responding after a few back and forths and so it fizzled out. ...
A. 18 February 2015: I can't say whether I think you should leave him, but I wouldn't advise marrying him, so I agree that the engagement should be called off.... (read in full...)
She did us a big favor, but how long do we owe her?
Q. It's a bit sensitive situation andi need an advice. We have a customer who at one point did a huge favor for us that it resulted in bringing us quite a bit of business. On her part it was absolutely effortless. She is kind and generous lady, r...
A. 18 February 2015: You need to say "Mrs _____ we appreciate what you did for us, but we can no longer give you these things for free" or "we can only give you one of the items you mentioned for free".... (read in full...)
How can I help our best friend who’s fallen ill and is being used by a gold-digger sociopath?
Q. For several months my husband’s and my best friend has had all sorts of problems and we stubbornly stood by him doing everything we can to help him. The only positive development is that he had left a horrible marriage behind, everything else ...
A. 18 February 2015: What I'm saying is that you *can't* buy him more time. I have mental illnesses of my own to battle, but that's just it; it's our *own* battle and who we let into our lives *is* still a conscious choice.
I had a friend like yours who was like a b... (read in full...)
He wants me to be exclusive with him. But there is another woman in his life. What should I do?
Q. i met this guy i been having sex with him the last mouth he has been helping me in so many ways. he talks to my kids he tells me he wish he met me fours years ago before he met the women he is with now he wants me to wait for him for me to have no ...
A. 18 February 2015: You allow your cheating lover to talk to your kids?! I wouldn't let him anywhere near them, if they were mine.
This isn't love; you don't love him and he certainly doesn't love you or the woman he's with! Love is mutual, this is infatuat... (read in full...)
How can I help our best friend who’s fallen ill and is being used by a gold-digger sociopath?
Q. For several months my husband’s and my best friend has had all sorts of problems and we stubbornly stood by him doing everything we can to help him. The only positive development is that he had left a horrible marriage behind, everything else ...
A. 18 February 2015: "For several months my husband’s and my best friend has had all sorts of problems and we stubbornly stood by him doing everything we can to help him. The only positive development is that he had left a horrible marriage behind, everything else ... (read in full...)
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