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I'm worried about what my friends will think of my much older father

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Family, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 February 2015) 9 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hey, I am having trouble... My dad, well, he's a bit older than most dads, I'm a teenager, and he's in his 70's. I love my dad, but this has made me so so so self conscious!

Anyway, it's my birthday in a few days, and I'm having a party with my friends. My dad has to drive us to the place where the party is, and some of my friends have never met my dad before, and I'm worried how they'll react.

I just want someone to give me some advice, I find myself worrying about this in a daily basis, and I know that's not right.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (22 February 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntYou're embarrassed by your dad. You're normal. Most teens are.

What I will tell you.\, and what you will probably not be able to grasp until you are older and more tuned into the world that exists outside your bubble, is that you will miss the hell out of him when he is gone.

So do your best to grin and bear it.

And just to be very clear about this: when I was your age I was also embarrassed by my parents and wanted to sink into the earth when one showed up to walk me home or pick me up. It's supremely important at that one moment in time, to be accepted and considered 'cool' or normal by your friends.

The thing you can take to the bank is this: when you are older, 5 or 10 or 20 or even 40 years older, you will not give a flying poop about what some jealous or critical or seemingly superior girl from your school might have thought about you. In fact, you will laugh your backside off at ever having worried about this stuff.

Love your family, your friends and don't worry! You are normal and all will be well. :)

PS Happy birthday.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2015):

Listen you need to understand that the future is not promised your father is older than most fathers that means his years with you are limited. I wish him a longggggggg healthy life. but you need to cherish each and every moment with him, or you will grow up to regret it for the rest of your life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2015):

Hey! Thanks so much for all your support (I don't have an account, but I did write the question by the way). I am so so so so thankful to see how many of you answerd this, and you all truly helped. At the end of the day, he's my dad, and I love him for that. He brought me into this world, so why should I be ashamed of that! Thanks again! X

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (22 February 2015):

YouWish agony auntDon't worry! If they don't know you, they may wonder if he's your grandfather rather than your father, but that's not anything to be embarrassed about. Many people have kids later in life, so once you introduce him as your dad, they will probably think nothing of it. Remember, many kids are watched by their grandparents as part of child care as well, so there's nothing out of the ordinary.

He's your dad, and like the others said, nobody will give it the least bit of thought. Your dad loves you, and they're there to hang out with you.

It's not like he's a nudist or anything! Don't worry! :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2015):

Another thing, if you don't act ashamed, they won't even notice!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2015):

I know, I know...part of being a teenager growing-up is being ashamed of our parents. They say or do things we fear will embarrass us in-front of our friends. I'm going to give you some things to think about when your birthday comes. First of all, he's half the reason you have a birthday to celebrate!

He is the man who would give his life to save yours. He has loved, clothed, fed, and protected you since your little eyes first saw the light of day. You are his most precious, and he is not ashamed of you; unless you do things that are against all that he has taught you. He was blessed to have you, and you are blessed to have him. Many of your fiends will have fathers who don't even live in the same house; if they've ever even seen him at all! Never be ashamed of the two people who love you as much as life itself. Your parents! Every-time you look into his eyes, you see love; even when he's angry at you.

He's your biological father, no matter what your friends may think! He's your flesh and blood. He's half the reason you exist. His feelings should come before the opinions of your friends. You're just a young girl; so I know how our ageist society has put everyone over 30 out to pasture.

When it comes down to the people we cherish the most, it doesn't matter what a dumb bunch of kids think. If they would sit in your house, under your roof, enjoying your hospitality, eating the food he most likely paid for; and would judge him for his age? You've picked a bad bunch of people to call your friends. Anyone who makes even the slightest expression that would hurt his feelings, or yours; KICK THEM OUT! His age has nothing to with being your loving father.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (22 February 2015):

Ciar agony auntYour friends probably won't think much of it beyond simply noticing (if they even do that). They'll probably just follow your lead so if you're normal about it, they will be too.

Are you your father's first child or do you have much older siblings or half siblings? If so, and if anyone asks just cite that as the reason (do not get into lengthy explanations) and resume whatever conversation you were having before the question was asked.

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A female reader, Midnight Shadow United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2015):

Midnight Shadow agony auntI understand why you're worried; people can be judgemental but, as long as they don't say anything to you or anyone else (in the form of mocking) you have no issue. If they do say something mean, they aren't a very good friend.

Try not to worry :)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (22 February 2015):

Honeypie agony auntHe is your Dad. He can't CHANGE his age to please your friends. LOVE him as he is and if THEY have problem with it.. well, isn't that THEIR problem?

I grew up with a VERY short Mom, she contracted polio and her growth was utterly stunted at age 12. ( the vaccine came out a year later, too late for my Mom). So My WONDERFUL Mom was on 4 foot 8 or 9 (tops) and she LOOKED really young too. Baby face you can call it. I don't know HOW many people thought my Mom was my big sister or that my Dad must have SERIOUSLY raided a cradle. But you know what? I loved my Mom. And EVERY single friend I have introduced her too loved her too. I have NEVER had ANY of them ask why she was short, or looked so young. They JUST accepted that SHE was my Mom.

Let it go. You can't CHANGE his age, HE can't change his age. And HIS age has NOTHING to do with ANYTHING.

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