Do I keep believing him after his string of lies?

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Long story short, over the past month, my husband has been caught in a string of lies. First lie is when he told me he called his buddy but later found out he called a female coworker to congratulate her for this cover she got for a magazine. Odd that he lied as it seems innocent but we talked through it and let him know he doesn’t need to lie, be open with me and I’ll be fine. Two days later, I found out he was about to give her a $200 gift for her birthday. I found the gift in my car trunk and confronted him and he said it was for her and he hid it because he knew I would be upset since the gift was expensive. Got over that after some talking and counseling. I asked him if I can meet this coworker so I can feel comfortable being that he has to see her everyday at work. He freaked out on me and said it’s ridiculous and she is not a real friend and no point in meeting her. I asked him if he did ever buy her a bday gift since he didn’t give her the expensive one and he said no. Later on I find out he did get her something. Donated a giraffe to her from one of those conservation websites. Again annoyed with the lie. Recently I checked his locations on his phone and it turns out he has been to her house twice. Once when he told me he was hanging out with a buddy. I confronted him and he lashed out on me saying I have issues and calling me crazy. To get over it, it’s the past. He stated he doesn’t remember going there twice but he went once before he met his buddy for dinner and he was only there for 30 minutes looking at pictures from a recent trip she took. He stated he didn’t feel like he needed to tell me cause I would overreact and it was not important. Throughout all of this, he made me feel like I had issues and the problem was me. I told him it’s hard for me to trust him being that he has lied multiple times about this same person. He stated he didn’t cheat on me and when I tell him I feel as though he didn’t physically cheat, but he was toying with the idea, he just continued to get angry and defensive. After some talking, we are better now but I still am extremely shocked and hurt by his behavior and lies and something still tells me something is off, but I don’t know if I am just making myself crazy overthinking. Also some back story on us, been together for 8 years and 3 kids all under the age of 4. We have also never had any serious problems with lies like this in our relationship so this is all new to me.

View related questions: at work, co-worker

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