I'm in love with my friend, who's in an unhappy marriage. Should I tell her my feelings?
Q. Hello, I have a female friend who seems to be in an unhappy marriage. Her husband constantly loses his temper for no reason whatsoever, causing her to cry. He's never hit her, just shouted at her. The other night, she phoned me in tears after he'd...
A. 15 September 2013: You can't be completely certain that these things are happening in her marriage, unless you're witnessing these things first hand. The fact that you said she "seems" to be unhappy, indicates that you really aren't completely certain if she's happy ... (read in full...)
Can I climb out of this rut? And get my life back into some semblence of Progress?
Q. This might generate some flack because this isn't technically a relationship question, but I'm so deep in despair that I don't know where to turn!! Please, pretty please, can you help me? I'm in despair! It's that I have had all these high hopes...
A. 15 September 2013: You mentioned that you don't have transportation, so have you ever thought of telecommuting? There are many companies nowadays that have that option. If you haven't already, go to Craigslist (or whatever online job site you go to) and type in "tel... (read in full...)
He says I'm smothering him and I didn't realize I was!!
Q. Ive been in a very intense relationship for 4 months. Recently my bf started pulling away. We've had very sporadic contact for the last 4 weeks and haven't seen each other at all. He didn't tell me what was going on until this past Monday. ...
A. 15 September 2013: This is good news. So, how to proceed. Go ahead and answer his email, however, now might not be a good time to get into any heavy discussions about the status of your relationship.(unless he initiates that type of discussion.) If I remember ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he wants to get married, but his actions don't match his words. Are we compatible, or should I move on?
Q. Hi, I'm trying to understand if my boyfriend and I are not communicating or not compatible. He says he wants us to get married as soon as possible and he is going to work extra to buy an engagement ring or even look for another job if possible...
A. 14 September 2013: Always go by a person's actions, not their words. It would also be a good idea for you and your boyfriend to have a serious conversation about your long term goals, as well as his long term goals. If your long term goals aren't compatible, then ... (read in full...)
He says I'm smothering him and I didn't realize I was!!
Q. Ive been in a very intense relationship for 4 months. Recently my bf started pulling away. We've had very sporadic contact for the last 4 weeks and haven't seen each other at all. He didn't tell me what was going on until this past Monday. ...
A. 14 September 2013: You need to shift your focus. Your goal will be to focus on you and getting on with your life without him. If he resurfaces, great, and if he doesn't, so what? No man is the be all/end all of your existence. It's not a matter of you "waiting" fo... (read in full...)
Friend-zoned ... I need help!
Q. Hi, I need some help and advice. I have been liking this girl. A week ago, I hint my feelings to her. We texted and heart to heart talk a little. She finds me a good friend and she don't want to be involve in a relationship. She wants to wait un...
A. 14 September 2013: What do you mean you're not giving up, until she bluntly rejects you? Unfortunately, it appears that she already has rejected you. Since she's not your girlfriend, she allowed to text or spend time with anyone she chooses. You have hobbies (ga... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my ex believe me when I say I've been celibate for the past 11 years?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am still kind of sort of fond of my ex boyfriend, it has been years since we have saw each other plans to see each other but when the time comes its always something that gets in the way. We had a conversation on the phone with eac...
A. 14 September 2013: You don't need validation or approval from your ex-boyfriend. Why is his opinion so important to you? If you know it to be true that you've been celibate for 11 years, then whether he considers you a liar or not is irrelevant.... (read in full...)
Did she cheat on me?......Can I trust her?......please help me
Q. Ok, about 6 months ago I started talking to this girl, she's an international student from China, and after around two weeks of talking we decided to meet each other. Now I did find it strange that she let me sleep in her bed the first night. And we ...
A. 14 September 2013: During the course of your six month relationship, she's met one guy for coffee, had dinner with one of her ex-boyfriends, went on a daytime shopping trip with some random guy, and stayed two nights at another ex-boyfriend's home in Dubai. What... (read in full...)
Is fisting normal?
Q. I just met a beautiful 22 year old (I'm 10 years older) and after our 1st intercourse, she asked me to "fist" her. She derived huge pleasure from it but I was shocked. I've had considerable experience but never have I had a girl ask me this. ...
A. 14 September 2013: What constitutes "normal" is determined by what you and your girlfriend decide is normal. She obviously enjoys this activity, so unless it makes you feel uncomfortable, you don't have anything to worry about. If you're uncomfortable with this ... (read in full...)
He says I'm smothering him and I didn't realize I was!!
Q. Ive been in a very intense relationship for 4 months. Recently my bf started pulling away. We've had very sporadic contact for the last 4 weeks and haven't seen each other at all. He didn't tell me what was going on until this past Monday. ...
A. 14 September 2013: You should give him some space for the time being. In the interim focus on you. Do you have any hobbies, friends, etc.? If so, focus on those things to keep your mind off of him. You really don't need to tell him that he was right, just step back ... (read in full...)
Dramatic 2 years
Q. Hello everyone, I am in a pretty sticky situation regarding an ex. We have a two year old daughter together. A few months after she was born, he met and fell in love with a stripper. It tore a wedge between us because he would put off visitation t...
A. 13 September 2013: For the time being, you and your ex should focus on co-parenting. If you decide that you want a more intimate relationship with you ex, it would be a good idea to take it VERY slowly!
He has mistreated both you and your daughter. He needs to earn ... (read in full...)
Am I being shallow? Or is my boyfriend just cheap?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and in that time we have been in love. However.. something that I tried not to let bother me in the beginning has recently really started to get on my nerves. My boyfriend, I feel, is a huge cheaps...
A. 13 September 2013: No, you are not being shallow. What stood out in your letter was this: "I currently do not have a job and am living off my savings and benefits, he has a full-time job although I know it doesn't pay particularly well, its still way better than me." ... (read in full...)
I love him so much but the possibility of never marrying is devastating to me.
Q. I have been in a relationship with my partner for 3 years and we have a 10 week old daughter together. Since I gave birth to my daughter I have been yearning to engaged/married we have a generally brilliant relationship and I love him dearly. The ...
A. 13 September 2013: You should be asking your boyfriend if you're the woman he wants to be spending the rest of his life with, because no one else knows his thoughts and feelings, but him. You say that marriage is a dealbreaker for you, and that's okay. At the sam... (read in full...)
People think my guy is so great but they don't see what I see!
Q. Has anybody ever gone through this, or at least seen it happening before? I have what I would call a normally very sweet guy. My family love him and my friends always tell me how lucky I am, and wish they could meet someone like him. They ask why we ...
A. 13 September 2013: It really doesn't matter if everyone one else views him as this "great guy". The fact is, you see him for what he really is. The basic definition of paranoia is seeing or believing something that isn't there, but all of his shenanigans are ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to move in with a guy
Q. Hi all, I am 28 and my girlfriend is 26. She is a traveling nurse so she moves pretty frequently. We have only been dating about 2 months and only official for one month. The way her job works is that she will work in a city for 3 months then go...
A. 13 September 2013: I think it's okay to discuss the issue with your girlfriend and to let her know that the arrangement makes you feel uncomfortable. However, ultimately the decision is hers to make. If this is only the first place she's looked, then there's no ... (read in full...)
Having a crush and flirting while in a relationship with someone else!
Q. I am in a relationship with my boyfriend who I DO love from the bottom of my heart. Just thinking about him gets my heart fluttering! I'm always wondering what I can do to make our relationship grow. However, and it's difficult to admit this even ...
A. 13 September 2013: I think having crushes is normal. We're human, and just because we're in committed relationships, doesn't mean we're dead! Regarding the flirting...well, that depends. Would you be upset of your boyfriend was flirting with one of his sexy female ... (read in full...)
I know I need to let her go because of how she treats me, but I'm in love with her and scared to be without her!
Q. This past week and a half my girlfriend hasn't been acting the same and shes done nothing more than push me away, she picks fights for no reason and no matter what i say i'm a monster, there is no making her happy anymore and when i ask her whats ...
A. 13 September 2013: I think what you really need to be asking yourself is why are you making one person responsible for YOUR happiness? You're showing her exactly how to treat you, by allowing her to constantly mistreat you. What should you do? I think you should do ... (read in full...)
Should I pay?
Q. So I am Back into the dating scene after I took some time off from my last relationship to recover so I went to online dating to try to find someone since I have a busy schedule. I connected with this guy and he asked me to go out for a drink so 1st ...
A. 12 September 2013: Should you pay? In my opinion, yes...sometimes. Just as he should pay sometimes, you also have the option of going dutch. If you're expecting more financial generosity from a guy, then perhaps this isn't the guy for you.
Whether you stay away fro... (read in full...)
How to tell my sister the disturbing news about her husband that he is player?
Q. Dear Cupid, I need your advice. I had disturbing news about my younger brother-in-law from a friend who works at the same place and I try to digest it. She says that he is a player and emotional seeker. According to her, she plays games to lead the...
A. 12 September 2013: Unless you have concrete proof (and not just hearsay), I think your best bet would be to speak with your brother in law about the issue.... (read in full...)
I've fallen for him now but it seems he is no interested in me or not wanting to be my friend. Please help me
Q. A guy blocked me because he said i wasn't in love with him which was true i called him several times but to no respond, i then sent him an sms he called later saying "lets be real, i was faking, so were u, lets just be friends'. We were friends, i ...
A. 12 September 2013: His actions are indicating that he's not interested in you. He won't take your calls, has blocked you on fb, and won't answer your texts. Is this really the type of guy you want?
You can't make someone love you and you are better than this.... (read in full...)
How can I forgive myself and regain his trust?
Q. This question is about sexual fantasies, alcohol, and a mistake that may have jeopardized my fiance's trust in me. My fiance' and I are getting married in June. We are both in professional school, 25 years old, and live 1 hour apart because we...
A. 12 September 2013: Your question was "How Can I Forgive Myself and Regain His Trust". You stated in one of the paragraphs " He says he trusts me, but I still feel terrible for making such an immature decision." So, if he says that he trusts you, then what trust do you ... (read in full...)
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