A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I need some help and advice. I have been liking this girl. A week ago, I hint my feelings to her. We texted and heart to heart talk a little. She finds me a good friend and she don't want to be involve in a relationship. She wants to wait until next year, when she graduated before considering getting one. After listening, I honestly felt very disappointed and depressed because I think I'm friendzoned.Plus lately, she has been ignoring my messages and text. Since then I haven't text her as frequent as before, because I feel like I'm always pestering and being clingy. However, she has this guy friend that she can text everyday. EVERYDAY! They seems to be able to talk about anything to everything. I'm super jealous and driving me crazy... I still have another 4 weeks of holidays before my LAST school semester starts, afterwards graduating. In other words, I would be seeing her for the next four weeks! Everyday seems so fruitless and uneventful, I lost all interest and mood to do anything; from playing guitar to sports to gaming and so on... My mind is only about her and her!My feelings has severely disrupted me and my life. I need someone to guide me! How should I get her attention? Should I ask her out? How can I do better? I really want a relationship with her. I've decided I am not giving up until she bluntly reject me.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (15 September 2013):
 You must cut off all communication with her, because your obsession is hurting your life. She doesn't feel for you like you do for her. It does you no good to torture yourself with the knowledge that she chose someone else over you.
Walk away, cut off thoughts before they happen. Short circuit them and break your thought patterns. Do NOT talk to her. Don't look for her, don't follow her, if you're on her Facebook, delete her and unfriend her. If she asks you why, tell her that it's healthier for both of you if you move on emotionally, and then wish her well.
You're 18-21. This is the time in your life when what you do or don't do with your education will make or break your life. How will you explain that you blew your dreams because your ego was bruised? Think beyond the situation, or you will be in your 30's and bitter at the missed opportunities that this obsession will cost you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2013): I'm sorry to say but she's not romantically interested in you... At all... For whatever reason, in this case she's into someone else. This happens to every single one of us, whatever we look like, whoever we are, if someone doesn't have that burning urge for you, it's just their prerogative...Trust me whatever you try you can't change her mind... Play it cool/ pester her no end/ hot and cold contact, She's an individual and in the same way that you make choices on who to court, your pursuits in life, if somebody REALLY wanted you or wanted you to do something, are you just going to give in and do what they want? Everyone's an individual and you're pursuing the same lost cause that we ALL do- we ALL get rejected. You're obsessing over her, and obsession is always hard to kick but hopefully the advice given will support you... You WILL be happy but please just cut contact with her andwrite this off... In this obsessive state think cold turkey is the best way at the min. Take care xx
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (14 September 2013):
So you need a restraining order to leave her alone? Some people just don't want to hurt other people's feelings, so they make excuses. That seems to be what she did. Either that or she really doesn't want a relationship because she's too busy and can't afford the distraction. Either way, she rejected you.
Don't obsess over her just because of that. Don't take it personally, because it doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with you. BUT, there are plenty of other women you can go after. Why spend your time making this girl feel uncomfortable by "bluntly" rejecting you?
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A
female
reader, PeachCobbler03 +, writes (14 September 2013):
 What do you mean you're not giving up, until she bluntly rejects you? Unfortunately, it appears that she already has rejected you. Since she's not your girlfriend, she allowed to text or spend time with anyone she chooses.You have hobbies (gaming, guitar, sports), so the only way to get her off of your mind is to get back to your hobbies and live your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2013): If she wanted to be in a relationship and she thought you were a viable candidate you guys would be together. Take a hint and give her some room. She is not putting you in the friend zone, you are.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (14 September 2013):
 Why are you waiting to be bluntly rejected? Can't you see that she's not interested?
OP, you are being obsessive and if I was her I'd be more than a little freaked out by you.
She's entitled to text the other guy. It is none of your business.
Sorry you are feeling so bad, but she told you she is not looking for a relationship (probably a polite way of letting you know she only sees you as a friend).
Respect her feelings and move on. Leave her alone.
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