Since the birth of our son he's changed. I want to work things out. How do I cope if he continues to want out?
Q. I been in relationship for five years an just had a baby now my boyfriend says his feelings for me have dropped and he don't want to be in the relationship no more and he cheated on me with 19 year old when I was 8 months pregnant I just found it o...
A. 13 November 2011: Sounds like he completely freaked out about the new responsibility and handled it in a very immature way. Stay away from him for awhile except for allowing him to see his son.
If you exhaust yourself trying to make a relationship work with him... (read in full...)
How could he change so quickly? He says I'm an awesome friend but he thinks thats all its going to be
Q. my boyfriend just broke up with me out of the blue. (yesterday he was talking to me about going to his dads for dinner and making christmas lists, and the next day i saw him he broke up with me) he says that he feels like nothing has changed betw...
A. 13 November 2011: How long have you been together? Unfortunately a couple of weeks before the holidays is a common time for people to break up.
I would accept what he says and keep your distance until after the holidays. This will give you time to heal and move... (read in full...)
He wants to stay home. I want to travel. How can I modify my thoughts or behaviour to better cope with our differences?
Q. Hi Guys, My boyfriend is not keen on going on holidays, ever. Not even to our beach houses (ie. its not cost that's a factor). I would love nothing more than for us to be able to go away, interstate, maybe overseas, but it just seems like it won't...
A. 13 November 2011: Have you explained to him how important this is to you? I would explain to him how much this means to you, and see how he responds. Is there something he likes to do that you aren't all that into that you could agree to compromise on for him if he ... (read in full...)
Eleven years together. I am seriously clucky for children. He wanted children. Now his mind is closed to the idea. what can I do?.
Q. I'm feeling extremely maternal at the moment and it's causing problems in my relationship. I'm 28, almost 29 and I've been with my boyfriend for 11 years. We've only been living together for just under a year. I know. Things have moved slow ...
A. 13 November 2011: I think you need to be completely honest with him and tell him that this is a deal-breaker for you and see what he says. I would give him maybe six months, and if he's not on board by then you will have to decide if you would rather be with him or ... (read in full...)
I keep striking out with the ladies, need help! is being 40 pounds overweight a factor? What needs to be done?
Q. so in my interaction with the ladies, I've heard this line WAY too much: "you're such a great guy, a girl would be real lucky to be with someone as nice and real as you are." All the while I'm thinking, "if i'm such a great guy, then why don't y...
A. 13 November 2011: Sounds like you're just a little behind on the dating scene and that you might be putting a lot of pressure on yourself which most girls can sense. I would try internet dating, and just try to go on as many first dates as possible without putting ... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend consistently and deliberately lie to me? What benefit does he derive from lying to me?
Q. hi there ive been with this man for almost 2 years now he says he loves me and wants to be with me forever but the thing is he never opens up to me at all never once. i always open up to him. He denies things that are true like he will deny s...
A. 13 November 2011: He's probably embarrassed that he followed you. I wouldn't push that topic with him for the time being. Do you mean that he doesn't open up to you emotionally? If so have you told him you feel this way? Is there a reason (from his past) he might ... (read in full...)
How can I draw boys attention to me without turning into a slut?
Q. how can i draw boys attention to me without turning in to a slut? ive never had a boyfriend, not even a little girl relationship, i think im ready for one now but i dont have the confidence to tell anyone that i have the hots for them, i myself dont ...
A. 13 November 2011: I agree with the other poster. Just work on building up your confidence, spend some time with guy friends so you get more comfortable being around guys. This will also help you understand guys more. You are young, I would not worry at all that you ... (read in full...)
My colleague tried to kiss me during an office party - now what?
Q. Hi there, For the past few months I have been working with somebody on a project. He isn't my usual type and there is about a ten year age gap, (hes 40) and he is senior to me, but we started to get on really well. I enjoyed his company and will...
A. 13 November 2011: Sounds like might be interested but is feeling awkward about it just as you are. I would just continue to have pleasant work appropriate interactions with him. If he sees that you are comfortable even after the kiss and he's interested he will ... (read in full...)
Why does this girl I like keep texting me and then later ignoring me?
Q. Hi, I know this girl for last 3 years.I loved her very much but she was not ready to commit.Then a year later i came to know she is in relationship already which she kept secret to me.I stepped back but as i already made a very soft-corner for ...
A. 13 November 2011: Is she still in a relationship? If so I would let her be, she is probably just having relationship problems and using you as an outlet.
I hate to say it but it sounds like she might just not be that interested in pursuing anything with you :(... (read in full...)
Ex-bf is sending mixed signals.
Q. I've posted on this before. basically my ex had a huge problem with my sex life before him, and it ruined our relationship. After about 3 months after we broke up, he texted me saying he had changed. The guys before him, didn't bother him anymore. ...
A. 13 November 2011: Sounds like he will probably miss you and text you. If you do want to get back with him eventually I would have very limited contact with him for quite awhile. I think both of you need some space/time to let what has happened in the past go. If you ... (read in full...)
Why has she started avoiding me?
Q. Hello all, I've been hoping for some insight... I've recently befriended a girl (that is openly bi) who I really like and I'm not sure what to do now. She claims to have a bf (her other friends say she doesnt tho) but when we first officiall...
A. 13 November 2011: Sounds like she might be interested in you and afraid that you might not be interested in her. Let her friends know you miss her and I would imagine the message will get back to her.... (read in full...)
Am I releasing all my sexual tension onto my guy best friend? Am I cheating by doing things with him that I don't do with my boyfriend?
Q. Hi. I've got a boyfriend, and recently I asked about relationship advice about our almost non-existent physical relationship. We don't hold hands, and we've never kissed. I got back really good advice. The problem lies in the tips I got from the...
A. 13 November 2011: I don't think this is necessarily cheating, but it depends. If you are doing these things with a sexual interest or motive in mind then I would say this is cheating. ... (read in full...)
At what point can you no longer justify a relationship? marriage?
Q. At what point can you no longer justify a relationship? marriage? There is this old saying that love is not enough, how many of you believe this? For example, i have witnssed a couple risk their children's lives by driving dangerously beca...
A. 13 November 2011: I think sticking it out in a marriage is very important, but I would leave if my husband were abusive to me or my children. If he were willing to work on it and go to counseling I would be willing to continue to try to work on the marriage, but ... (read in full...)
I never played him. how can I get to be the girl I was (with self esteem) before I met him?
Q. dear friends... i need some advice... i broke up with my bf 5 months ago and can't get over him. our relationship had it's problems and i decided it was time to end it. the thing is, i started to regret my decision... so, i asked him to get b...
A. 13 November 2011: Well since it's only been 5 months it will probably take a bit of time, but I would try some of the following:
- Get a haircut
- Join a gym
- Take some time for interests you might have been neglecting
- Go on a shopping trip or spa day with you... (read in full...)
His ex cried that he didn't visit! Should I ask him to distance himself further or what?
Q. My BF's best mate told him that when we came to visit him, my BF 's exgirlfriend cried and cried that he didn't go see her. Would you expect that of a 50 yr old woman who says she's just friends with your BF? What would you think was going on ther...
A. 13 November 2011: It sounds like she is definitely still interested in him. I would ask him what he thinks is going on with her. If he's in denial about her interest I would perhaps explain to him that you're concerned about her interest and tell him that it makes ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to trust? Still paranoid about being cheated on/screwed over in future relationships. What to do?
Q. My ex dumped me by text out of the blue. I only found out I was being cheated on after the breakup. Everybody knew but me. That was a year ago, but I'm still paranoid about having future relationships....
A. 13 November 2011: I'm sorry that happened to you :( Maybe you could try counseling to try to deal with the fear that you still have.... (read in full...)
Is this a traditional FWB relationship?
Q. A close friend of mine which I have known for the past 3 years, and I have hooked up 4 times in the last 7 months. I'm not sure if it's a FWB relationship... we don't booty call each other (which is what I've read that FWB do), or have long cha...
A. 13 November 2011: This doesn't entirely sound like a FWB situation. It seems like he might be interested in being more than friends with you. If you're interested as well try to encourage him, and hopefully he will get the courage to voice his intentions. If you're ... (read in full...)
Why did my girl friend not try harder to talk this through? She wants space. And different things. But could more discussion help?
Q. My girlfriend and i have been together for a little more than a year and a half. We do everything together, We are both living at my parents house, we work together (because my family has been friends with the GM of a company, so it was a easy job)...
A. 13 November 2011: It sounds like she just wants some space. The best thing you can do is give that to her and follow the advice your friends have given her. Maybe she will decide to come back, maybe she won't. Give her her space and take some space for yourself. If ... (read in full...)
Trust! Is there anything I can do to not always assume the worst and have faith in who I'm with?
Q. I've been seeing this girl for only a little over two weeks now, but we instantly hit it off. Maybe we moved really fast, but I've pretty much been over at her house non stop since we met. I'm pretty crazy about her. My question is this. I've been...
A. 13 November 2011: Well since you have only known her for two weeks I think its okay to be a bit mis-trusting (within reason) right now. You're still figuring out how she is and if she is the type of person who can be trusted, and that knowledge can only come with ... (read in full...)
Does my boss want something more from me or is he just being friendly?
Q. hi I am a 30 y/o woman from india and travel often on business. Recently, when i was abroad on a new project, i and my boss on this project went out sightseeing together. He is english and 56 years old. We got along well and a couple of days l...
A. 13 November 2011: Yes, it sounds like he is looking for something more than friendship.... (read in full...)
Shall I just keep silent or shall I voice my insecurities about his Boy's Night Out ?
Q. My bf cheated on me 2 years ago, we argued it out and said we'd give it one last go. Since then it's been fine, and I am steadily starting to build up trust again. However, he mentioned going to another part of the Uk for a lads night out. He's h...
A. 13 November 2011: I would explain to him that you're feeling a little insecure about it. Tell him its okay for him to go (assuming that's how you feel), but that you feel a bit insecure about it and that it would be helpful if he could check in with you a few times ... (read in full...)
I feel like a used rag!
Q. i really need some honest constructive advice. over two years ago i met a guy at work. i had come out of a dreadful relationship and my confidence was low. i work hard at work but am always given a hard time for it so this guy seemed to like me and ...
A. 13 November 2011: It sounds like this guy is a narcissist and that you've finally seen him for what he is. I would stay away from him and only interact with him as needed at work. This guy isn't going to change and will just keep lying and taking advantage of you if ... (read in full...)
A man I once dated and had a falling out with recently invited me to join his social network site
Q. Hi I would appreciate your advice as I’m in a difficult dilemma. There was this guy I dated in the past, he broke my heart and we left things on bad terms. I found it hard to move on and till this day I have thought about him. Three years l...
A. 13 November 2011: I would accept the invite, but not respond to the message. The message sounds like a canned message that was automatically sent out with the friend request. Accept the invite if you're curious and see what he does.
I had a similar situatio... (read in full...)
I love my husband but am not in love with him and I think about my first love 24/7!
Q. Ive been married for 10 yrs my husband has been a good man and provider.. Weve had our ups and downs. 2 years ago i met my first love on facebook and fell in love again and want to be with him but i feel real guilty over leaving. Familyn giving me ...
A. 13 November 2011: This might be more about being unhappy in your current relationship than about your first love. Have you tried counseling or anything else to work on your relationship with your husband?... (read in full...)
I'm concerned about the DVDs he's watching as a means to get an erection!
Q. I've become a little bit concerned about my husband in the past few weeks [well, 3 actually]. He's spending a lot of time at the gym and online, and in his room are hundreds of magazines with pictures of shirtless men! Also included was a D...
A. 13 November 2011: I'm so sorry you're in this situation :( I would have to agree with the other posters, it sounds like he is attracted to men. A close gay friend of mine told me that before he came out he used to just think that he admired mens' bodies because he ... (read in full...)
Do girls always find nude art in a guy's place offensive?
Q. Ok, I studied film in college and since then have gotten interested in still photography as well, especially photographers like Howard Schatz, Patrick Demarchelier, Andreas H. Bitesnich, and Herb Ritts. Nudes happen to be one of the subject-matter ...
A. 13 November 2011: That wouldn't bother me at all. I have a picture of a nude statue in my bedroom and guys have commented on it, but I don't see it as a problem at all and wouldn't be offended if a guy had nude art in his house. I'd be concerned if it was all nude or ... (read in full...)
Why is he waiting to ask me out? All we are doing is texting!
Q. Hello. I have recently been set up with a guy by a friend. We have not spoken to each other physically or even on the phone. But we text each other. It has now been a week since we have been texting - everyday - but I am wondering how long it will...
A. 13 November 2011: Does this guy know anything about you besides the content of your texting conversations? If he doesn't know much about you he may still be trying to determine if he's interested. I'd give him another week if he's still texting you but hasn't asked ... (read in full...)
I think I'm more emotionally involved than he is, should I just cut contact?
Q. I've recently became single after being in relationships since i was 16, im now 20, and i'm finding it diffcult to get back into dating again. firstly i have been talking to a guy on the internet who i used to go to school with but he moved away. we ...
A. 13 November 2011: I would cut off contact with him for a little while. If he doesn't seem to care I'd move on. If he's interested that will probably make him step it up and make his intentions more clear.... (read in full...)
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