A
female
age
26-29,
*ivs101
writes:how can i draw boys attention to me without turning in to a slut? ive never had a boyfriend, not even a little girl relationship, i think im ready for one now but i dont have the confidence to tell anyone that i have the hots for them, i myself dont think im up to their standard but others say im too good for them, are they just saying this because they dont want to hurt me or am i really to good for them and should go for a few years older guy??
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female
reader, ShiShisAdvice  +, writes (14 November 2011):
 Then don't. Boys draw our attention by playing sports. Men, LOVE the smart girl that doesn't seem to notice him. Try it! Oh and there aint no "standards" in love. The ugly ones hurt us just as bad as the handsome ones!
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (13 November 2011):
 If a guy says you are too good for them, it means one of two things:
1) The guy sees you as innocent, like a little sister, and doesn't want to "corrupt" you;
2) The guy is trying to politely let you down and say he's not interested.
It happens, rejection is a part of life. One of the best things you can do for yourself and your confidence is learn to take rejection in stride, without letting it affect you. Most girls never learn that, so if you could, it would put you a step above the competition - but if you don't, no big deal. Remember, rejection doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it just means you didn't click with that particular guy.
With that out of the way, here's the big secret to attracting a guy: first, select a guy who is looking for a relationship. This is harder than it sounds, because the more attractive a guy is, the more likely he is to want to use that in order to sleep around. You'll figure it out, though, I'm sure.
Second, show that you are interested in him, and only him, but without seeming too easy. Body language is your best friend here. Play with your hair (grow it long), pat him on the arm or chest when he makes you laugh, make good eye contact (do it for one or two seconds longer than is comfortable). Do that for the guy you want, but not for other guys (*especially* in front of him). Maintain boundaries about how far you want to go with him, but whenever you stop him (say, you are kissing him but are not ready for heavy petting), make sure your body language says that you *do* want to do more, but that you have boundaries that you aren't going to compromise on and that you expect him to respect.
Basically, it throws all the "nice girl" and "bad girl" signals at him at once, without making him worry that you are going to stray.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (13 November 2011):
 Have self belief. And if you like someone, just get to know them better like you would if you wanted to be friends with a girl. There isnt that much of a difference between boys and girls. You could talk about what you have in common such as classes, teachers, friends and just move on to other things. And if your friends know them you could go with them while they talk to the guy or something just so you know them. But dont worry, you wont be alone forever or anything. Everything just takes time :)
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A
female
reader, Ima FreAk! +, writes (13 November 2011):
 Hiyaaaa,Don't be ashamed that you haven't been in a relationship, trust me it's best not to be in a relationship now I mean no offence, secondary school (high school) relationship don't last. There is always something that will always be something that ruins a relationship!BUT if you wanna be in a relationship just be yourself honestly. Some guys think it's cute that girls get nervous but if you really want help I got a programme for ya! It's called "Plain Jane" from MTV, so if you got on the MTV website and type Plain Jane in the search box it really helps you. It shows some flirting techniques too! AND it doesn't turn people into a slut!What you gotta do is start to flirt! Most people think "Ohhh flirtinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng" like it's a bad name but honestly on Plain Jane the flirting you get on there is like OMG its normal. Start making small talk with the boys like you know finding common interest (but don't force yourself to like Call of Duty yhh) but you know like music or something. Best way to start a conversation with a guy is to compliment then say "Ohhh I like your hair" or "watch" anything!Start by being friends coz don't walk up to a guy and say I like you coz it would be weird, random and you might get your heart broken. So just you know make a small talk, then go onto being friends or everyday kinda friends then puck up the courage to say that you like that boy!!!I really recommend you watching Plain Jane it's amazing!But ultimately be yourself don't change yourself!Hope my advice helps!Lots of love,Ima FreAk!x
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A
female
reader, kate28 +, writes (13 November 2011):
I agree with the other poster. Just work on building up your confidence, spend some time with guy friends so you get more comfortable being around guys. This will also help you understand guys more. You are young, I would not worry at all that you haven't had a boyfriend yet. I know it seems like everyone is dating, but you will be better off in the long run if you work on building up your confidence and developing male friendships. Focus on what you like to do and what you are good at. Try some new things, sports, etc. The more comfortable you can get trying new things and succeeding the more your confidence will grow. If you are going to date I would stick with guys around your age for now.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 You need to build your own self confidence, when people give you a compliment then take it. But it does not necessarily mean that you are two good for boys your own age. If there is someone that you like, well then just talk to them and get to know them and show them that you are interested in them. But don't rush in to these things. You are still young there is no major rush just enjoy life.
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