A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I've got a boyfriend, and recently I asked about relationship advice about our almost non-existent physical relationship. We don't hold hands, and we've never kissed. I got back really good advice.The problem lies in the tips I got from the advice: I noticed some of those things I already do with my guy best friend! I don't feel any spark, but I use his shoulder as a pillow, give him hugs when he's down, hit him lightly when we play around, and in the dark he holds my hand (because I'm night blind).Am I releasing all my sexual tension onto him? Is there a chance that he knows? Could he have any feelings for me? (Thus allowing me to do these things-- this is the most worrying.) Am I cheating by doing things with him that I don't do with my boyfriend?
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female
reader, ShiShisAdvice  +, writes (14 November 2011):
 I've done that before with disasterous results. Channel your energy in exercise. V's & D's were never made of gold and diamonds, no matter how much we think they are. When you fall in true love, and marry, now THAT'S awesome! Stop this nonsense. And stop using your so called "friend". Not fair to him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011): Whatever it is, you are cheating if you feel like you need to hide it from your BF.
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A
female
reader, kate28 +, writes (13 November 2011):
I don't think this is necessarily cheating, but it depends. If you are doing these things with a sexual interest or motive in mind then I would say this is cheating.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011): Thanks Aunt honesty :)Firstly, this is a reply to the feedback on the question I posted.No, I just got advice for the very issue of my boyfriend and his... non-lovey-doveyness. Most likely due to me being his first girlfriend and all, I recently decided to give him time to get cosy. Plus, with him finishing a major exam, he added a promise to treat me "well" after the exams are over and done with.On the question of how my friend feels for me.. Occasionally when I do such things he'll either go very quiet and still, like he's zoning out, or he'll laugh like he's having the time of his life. (Although I must admit we do laugh a lot and it's normal for lots of laughter to be heard around us.) Sometimes he brushes my fringe away from my eyes or pats my hair (he hates messy hair and on the occasion when my hair ISN'T messy, he says it looks nice. Thus, the patting of hair.)
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 No off course you are not cheating, the things that you have mentioned here are all perfectly normal things to do with a close friend. It doesn't mean that there is anything sexual in it at all. However if things in your relationship is not working and there is no chemistry between you and your boyfriend well then my question would be why are you with him? Am not sure if your friend has feelings for you or not. It is hard to tell.
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