A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A close friend of mine which I have known for the past 3 years, and I have hooked up 4 times in the last 7 months. I'm not sure if it's a FWB relationship... we don't booty call each other (which is what I've read that FWB do), or have long chat/text conversations... or anything of that sort. Usually we see each other every day at college. When we have hooked up its been because we've been alone together and it's just sort of happened... (neither of us have ever been drunk on any of the occasions). When we go out with other friends or other people in general (or sometimes even in class, but not always), he's always very attentive towards me, in a way that causes me to be confused as to what he wants from me. For example, after saying hello to everyone in a group he'll go back to me and take my hand for the rest of the night; he might stop to greet someone but he'll always go back to where I'm standing; he'll engage me in different conversation topics than the majority of the group has going on; he'll caress the nape of my neck or my back; hug me, kiss my cheek...Is this a traditional FWB relationship? He's always been an affectionate guy (always been a major hugger with everyone) but lately his attitude towards me is getting to the point that common friends are noticing and sometimes even commenting about it (in a jokingly manner they'll say things like, "when are you two going to do it?" "What did you two do when you went to the bathroom together?" etc).I'd love some insight to try and clear my mind. Thanks!
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 There's not such thing as a "normal FWB, it really depends on the people involved and what they agree to... I had one, that was just like this one, cuddles and everything but no proper romantic attachment. I didn't want one and neither did he. Friendship is one thing, sex is another, but to love a man and want him only is a different thing altogether.
If you want to know if he wants more, then you need to ask him. At the moment it's not even a FWB, it's just two friends who look after each other and fall into bed when your single and there is a need.
It could get closer, but you won't know until you ask him causally to take it further. You say a lot about his actions, but what type of feelings do you have towards him. He may just be reacting to your need for male appreciation and attention.
If your interested, go to him and do the talk talk thing, or just leave things as they are and be glad you've got such a nice person in your life.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 I don't think there is such a thing as a TRADITIONAL FWB I mean after all my mother's generation didn't have them nor did her mother's.
My generation didn't call it FWB....
he may just be wanting the "entire girlfriend experience" you can pay hookers for it.... they did a show on two and a half men the other day in reruns on just that thing...
my boyfriend (who did start out as FWB with me) was from DAY ONE the biggest cuddle bug... and we always LOOKED like more than FWB when we went out... we had the ILLUSION of a real relationship.... in our case it did progress to more... so never say never if that's what you want...
I think to gain insight and clear your mind you need to talk to HIM...
I sense that you want MORE than FWB but are AFRAID to talk to him about it... and I can understand that.. .but until you know where he stands you are floundering in a sea of lost.
for all you know he feels more but is also afraid to say something....
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A
female
reader, kate28 +, writes (13 November 2011):
This doesn't entirely sound like a FWB situation. It seems like he might be interested in being more than friends with you. If you're interested as well try to encourage him, and hopefully he will get the courage to voice his intentions. If you're sleeping together and want to know exactly what's going on it's okay to ask him too.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (13 November 2011):
 It sounds to me like he likes you as more than a friend. He is showing you all the right attention, but maybe he just does not no how to tell you how he feels. Do you like this man? If you do well then talk to him and ask him how he feels about you. I know it can be a hard conversation to start, but my guess is someone needs to say something out of the both of you. You have nothing to lose so if you like him well then tell him.
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