A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:dear friends...i need some advice...i broke up with my bf 5 months ago and can't get over him.our relationship had it's problems and i decided it was time to end it.the thing is, i started to regret my decision...so, i asked him to get back together a couple months ago. he was nice, said we would get back together in time, but never acted like really wanted it. in the mean time, i was hopefull that anytime he'd make a move and would surprise me...well, i was wrong. today, i gave him an ultimatum... i didn't want to spend time away from the person i love or wait until he decided to be with me... i told him, it's now or never...we argued and he said "you knew i wasn't gonna get back with you"... what a jerk... i didn't know, especially because he said a week ago that he missed me and wanted to be with me again!he was keeping my hopes up for no reason!i'm hurt because i never played with his feeling, or anyone's as a matter of fact...anyway, i have loads of partys coming up and i want to forget him so bad... but i feel like i forgot how to flirt and be sexy!our relationship lasted 5 years and i've always been faithful... before, i was the kind of girl who could be with any guy! now, my self esteem is so low...i know i'm beautiful and nice... i used to be so outgoing, now i'm super shy... i feel like i've changed so much!so, how can i get to be the girl i was before i met him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 My guess is that he just wanted to hurt you the way you hurt him when you ended the relationship. I understand that you love him but you ended the relationship for a reason just remember that, obviously it was not working. Now it is time to move on. It can be hard coming out of a relationship and having the confidence to get back out there and meet new people. It will take a while to get your confidence back to the way it was. But start by maybe giving yourself a new haircut or go on a shopping spree. Make yourself look and feel good and then just take it in small steps to progress.
A
female
reader, kate28 +, writes (13 November 2011):
Well since it's only been 5 months it will probably take a bit of time, but I would try some of the following:
- Get a haircut
- Join a gym
- Take some time for interests you might have been neglecting
- Go on a shopping trip or spa day with your girlfriends
- Go to a bar or coffee shop (eventually some guy will probably come hit on you, and you can get back to feeling normal about talking to other guys)
- Completely stop talking to him, delete his number, old text messages, old emails, throw away gifts from him, etc.
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