A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf cheated on me 2 years ago, we argued it out and said we'd give it one last go. Since then it's been fine, and I am steadily starting to build up trust again. However, he mentioned going to another part of the Uk for a lads night out. He's had them locally and I have been ok, but the thought of him going away for one makes me feel like throwing up. Shall I just keep silent and let him go or shall I voice my insecurities?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2011): Do let him go - after all nothing good comes from "making" your partner stop doing something they really want to do except lead to them resenting you.
But also tell him of your insecurities, so he will know that you are extending yourself past your comfort zone because you care about the relationship. hopefully he may be more mindful of what he does while on his trip.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 I think it's reasonable for you to voice your insecurities (calmly) but not reasonable for you to ask or demand he not go. I would tell him that you're feeling insecure and why, then go plan your own night out with the girls for the same weekend to take your mind off it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011): Of course you`ll be insecure. He cheated on you. You know he`s got a cheating heart. When cheating and deceit takes place,we can try to mend the relationship,but one trust has been broken, it never mends.
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A
female
reader, kate28 +, writes (13 November 2011):
I would explain to him that you're feeling a little insecure about it. Tell him its okay for him to go (assuming that's how you feel), but that you feel a bit insecure about it and that it would be helpful if he could check in with you a few times while he is gone just to assure you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 November 2011):
 tell him how you feel...
but you have to if you want to make this work learn to trust him again....
ask him if he could help you feel more comfortable by at least checking in with you in some way while he's away....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011): Bite your tongue and make your own plans for the same weekend, that way you will be too busy to worry.
I know your bound to be thinking the worst, but you have been happy for 2 years so let him have this weekend without bringing up the past.Its a test for you both in a way.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 November 2011):
I think you should say that you're just feeling a bit insecure about him going away. Make clear that you're not out to stop him, but that you're in need of some reassurance. Hopefully he'll be good enough to give you that reassurance.
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