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Do girls always find nude art in a guy's place offensive?

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Question - (12 November 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2011)
A male Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok, I studied film in college and since then have gotten interested in still photography as well, especially photographers like Howard Schatz, Patrick Demarchelier, Andreas H. Bitesnich, and Herb Ritts. Nudes happen to be one of the subject-matter they all work in and are most known for.

When I got my own place, one of the first things I did was to frame a couple and put them up in the hallway and bedroom. Here are two examples:

[Mod note: the links were removed but this mod looked at the links; they are black and white 'arty' nude shots with no nipples or genitals showing. They were not sexually explicit or particularly provocative. Sort of side-lit highlighting the curves of the female body, mostly legs and shoulders.]

Didn't think there was anything wrong with this. But I've noticed that guests, particularly female ones, often have a weird reaction. Like they'll either make some negative comment or just raise an eyebrow and say nothing. It's not like this place is filled with nudes, there are only two right now. But I am an artsy type, unlike my friends and family, and maybe see these pictures differently than they do?

Now I'm thinking I should just replace them with landscapes or architecture. But another part says this is my place and I can put up what I want. I just don't want people getting the wrong idea. I also have no problem with male nudes, but I know for a fact everyone would think I was gay if those were shown, given how society thinks. Wish I lived in Europe where this might not be such a big deal.

Is it considered bad taste to display this work in a guy's home? What should I do?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thx for the advice. Wish my links hadn't been censored because some will imagine it worse than it really is. I'd never hang or collect sexual and erotic art.

I think it's silly to compare oneself with a faceless body depicted in a piece of artwork, but ok. If people are going to think that way, I can't stop them. Yes, photographers tend to work with the more perfect bodies. (Howard Schatz has famously used athletes and ballet dancers.) But that's no different than a landscape artist favouring the Grand Canyon as opposed to the ravine down the street. Maybe I need more cultured friends. Nude art also seems more common and accepted among the rich and famous for some reason.

FYI, I do have other kinds of photos hanging up. The living room is all pop art. I decided the hallway and bedroom would be the black-and-white areas so the nudes went there, interspersed with architecture and portraits. They are 19x24 and 18x22. Only one other piece in those rooms, my own shot of skyscrapers, is larger.

I'll keep them up for myself while it's just me here. But if girls or people I don't know very well are coming over, they are going into hiding from now on. I no longer trust people to regard them in a mature and enlightened way anymore. It's sad because to me they are just beautiful and should be shown off. You do have to care what others think, at least to an extent. Would a nude couple (man and woman) be any more acceptable?

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A female reader, Sweety Pie United Kingdom +, writes (13 November 2011):

Sweety Pie agony auntI think some girls would, just because being naked is still taboo in some places. I don't think i'd mind it as such, but if there were a lot of pictures of perfectly formed women i'd definatly feel self concious and feel like you'd expect me to have a perfect body and figure too.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI personally would have no problem with a well done nude framed and hung but i would not want it to be the ONLY artwork.....

BTW Leonard Nimoy ( Mr Spock of Star Trek fame) has a new career as a photographer and his preferred subjects are nude overweight women... he does great work and you can google it.. it's called The FULL BODY PROJECT

well done tasteful nudes especially in black and white are stunning...

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A female reader, kate28 United States +, writes (13 November 2011):

That wouldn't bother me at all. I have a picture of a nude statue in my bedroom and guys have commented on it, but I don't see it as a problem at all and wouldn't be offended if a guy had nude art in his house. I'd be concerned if it was all nude or distasteful but that doesn't sound like the case here. I would leave them up, it's your home and you should decorate it the way you would like to.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (13 November 2011):

person12345 agony auntWhile I personally LOVE a well done nude photo, even as someone who has worked as a professional photographer and been hired by the most famous magazine for photography in the United States I couldn't recommend putting up full nudes on your walls. Partial nudes can be stunning, but full nudes generally do not belong on walls (by partial versus full I don't mean clothes, I mean genitals and full body versus only parts of the body and no genitals or nipples). Generally to be safe (these are not hard and fast rules, just guidelines to help you get an idea), no entire breasts or genitals or nipples, and no poses that can be construed as erotic or seductive. And you have to balance them. For every nude, you need to have at least 4 pieces of art that aren't nude. Also a 3 foot tall nude is very different from an 8x10. One is a HUGE statement, while one can be tasteful. While some "erotic" type photography can be very interesting or beautiful, the place for it is not on your walls. Like we're talking a Strand of a woman kneeling versus a Mapplethorpe. You dig?

Also women generally are under a lot more pressure than you probably realize to look perfect. It's going to be tough to feel confident taking off her clothes in front of you with a photo of a perfect butt or pair of breasts staring her in the face. When it comes down to it she's probably not going to see a beautiful photo, all she'll see is someone who she thinks is hotter than her competing for visual attention. To be honest, while you're still casually dating women/bringing back new women for the first time, I'd stick to other types of photography on your walls altogether and leave the nudes for once you're in a more serious relationship with someone who won't feel intimidated.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (13 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntI have seen a lot of those in my days, some nude males some nude females. Doesn't bother me.

BUT here is the rub, so many women are body consious and therefore start to over analyze WHY you have naked women on your walls. I think if you bring home a date and she goes off the deep end, you know she isn't for you.

If you after a long relationship get "hint" that it's time to change the artwork out and YOU are ok with it, then maybe it's time.

I think the human body is a work of art. Unless the picture are graphically demeaning or overtly sexual it's just fine.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (13 November 2011):

Miamine agony auntI live in Europe, so nudes on the wall in art form are perfectly normal. We got a cooking programme here where people invite each other to dinner. One woman had a nude of herself, and the guests thought it was in bad taste, but only because it showed her as vain. The nudity didn't bother them. Why do you care what people think? Your old enough to live your life the way you please, and if people don't like it, then then don't have to come back. You live in your house 24hours a day, why change for people who only spend a couple of hours there.

Build the life you want to live, cause it's the only one you'll ever had.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (13 November 2011):

Tisha-1 agony auntI have a nude drawing I did in a college art class hanging in my house, but it's in my bedroom. I wouldn't hang it in more public rooms in the house because I think some people are uncomfortable with nudes.

You know in the movies when the scene is of a player-type's bachelor pad? The low lighting, the slick interior and the nudes on the wall all scream "PLAYAH"! We know he's not a good guy because he's too slick...

I think you may be being judged against a stereotype. If you have only a couple of nude pictures and they are in focal points in the house, you are making a statement. What you think that statement is may not be what a woman reads.

I'd mix in some other pictures with similar lighting schemes and feel that aren't of nude women; maybe consider relocating the pictures to a less focal point. Off on a side wall, they take on less prominence and won't make an unintended statement. Add a male nude to offset the purely female skin and don't make a big deal that you have these pictures on the wall. Throw in some architectural and landscape shots in other areas and people might actually believe you selected the artwork for the interesting lighting and amazing technique. People might actually believe you buy those magazines for the articles.

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A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (13 November 2011):

It is possible that girls you bring over assume the photos are of other girls you have had a relationship with.

It could also be that most people do not display images with nude female subjects in a prominent position in a dwelling. It probably has some sort of stunning effect, especially if a woman isn't expecting to see an image of another female nude.

Out of curiosity, how large are these images? If they are larger than a typical piece of paper, a woman is likely to react negatively to it. It is just the way we are.

You do have a few options. One would be to acknowledge the woman noticed the photo when she reacts, and explain in an upbeat and positive, but not fake voice why you have the image on your wall. Explain what it means to you, your education, why you are inspired by the beauty and artistic qualities...explain briefly though. Ask her what she thinks of it.

You could also maybe arrange images of male nudes and female nudes in a clever manner so it looks like perhaps they are interacting in some manner. (perhaps flirty, coy, longing, even ignoring one another, but nothing that could be misconstrued as overtly sexual).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2011):

I think it's cool, but probably a good idea to ask.

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