How to say no to a friend?
Q. How to say no to a friend? My childhood friend wants to come for Christmas with his new bf. Due to the COVID pandemic, this is not OK with my husband and me. Otherwise we would be happy to have have them stay with us over the holidays. My ...
A. 29 November 2020: Stick to your guns on this. No need to feel the least bit worried if others don't like your decision. If they were real friends then your choice - especially considering your health issues-, shouldn't effect the friendship in the least. They should ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend about her teenaged son's attraction to me?
Q. Hi I am 44 and I have been divorced for 6 months. The divorce was hard on me and I have very low self esteem and ended up having to move in with my friend and her son. Over the course of the months I have been staying with my friend I noticed...
A. 29 October 2020: This situation is a time bomb waiting to go off. You cannot excuse your actions in this situation and my feeling is your enjoying the attention and encouraging his behavior. If your self esteem is delicate, get some professional help. Do NOT ... (read in full...)
My new love wants children or child I don't how can I tell him no and still marry him?
Q. Afternoon everyone, So I'm back in the dating world and my children disapproves of it especially my son my daughter acts happy but I sense differently.So me and my now love are engaged now we have plans to travel move in together and just living ...
A. 19 October 2020: You need to be honest with him and it is disappointing you have proceeded seemingly as far into this relationship with him without discussing children and your desire not to have anymore. Agree with the other Aunts/Uncles that the changes are highly ... (read in full...)
I'm an unhappy married man attracted to a woman at work
Q. i am a unhappily married man who is very attracted to a beautiful young lady at work. at first it seemed that she was and maybe i hope she still is attracted to me. but lately i am very attracted to her and pay attention to her as much as i can with ...
A. 3 July 2019: "i really like this girl and would like to spend time with her. we don't have to have sex. i would really just like to be friends and let whatever happens happen. it is really hard to do. i made the mistake of accidentally winking at her the other ... (read in full...)
Husband is cheating, wants me to leave the marital home.
Q. Hi, I hope you can give me some advice. My husband of 19 years asked for a divorce in April this year, straight after I finished treatment for breast cancer. There has been no intimacy for 2 years now. He has refused to leave the family home ...
A. 24 December 2017: I agree with all the aunts and 'uncles'that you should be seeking legal advice as soon as possible. I wouldn't leave the marital home until you have had some good counsel on your rights and the best way to handle the separation legally. Your in an ... (read in full...)
On dating site for six years. Should this be a worry?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for a month and a half now. We text everyday, talk on the phone and we have been on multiple dates. Each time he is initiating it. So far things are looking spectacular! However, when I asked him how long he has been on the d...
A. 19 December 2017: I don't think you can do any harm by asking how he feels about the profiles being still up, when you two have been perhaps focusing, communicating regularly, on each other. If he is genuine he won't mind the question. The things to keep in mind ... (read in full...)
Married co-worker I'm having an affair with is now ignoring me
Q. Im a married woman who has been having a fling if you call it that with a married co-worker. Now that weve slept together hes been ignoring my texts yet still speaks to me in work like nothing has happened.( a week ago) Im so confused by this. Im ...
A. 11 August 2017: Firstly I would like to say that I do not condone or respect how you have behaved in your marriage, I think you have been very foolish to potentially impact on not only your career and working environment and also your personal life. Maybe take ... (read in full...)
We are both still married. Should I get involved with my married friend?
Q. Hello everyone, Over the past few years, I have run into a lot of issues with my husband and have discovered that the large bulk of our problems stem from some physical and mental health issues which cannot really go away. This has taken a toll...
A. 28 November 2016: It seems there are a couple of things going on in your life at the moment which would easily make you feel unsettled and potentially a bit vulnerable. I think it could be easy to tangle up the issues and see things that may or may not be there with ... (read in full...)
My married lover now wants a threesome!
Q. I have been in a "relationship" with a married man for 7 years. We see each other every now and again and really enjoy each other physically, emotionally and psychologically. He was always honest with regards to his status and that was fine with me. ...
A. 4 July 2011: My take on your 'problem', like other aunts is he is bored with his sex life with you, presumably also his wife. You have been available for 7 years to entertain his sexual desires, and I would put money on the fact that you are probably not the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend was diagnosed with depression and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells
Q. Hey. So after a really, really bad "episode," my boyfriend was recently diagnosed with depression. He and his parents and his doctor decided the best way to handle it is through psychotherapy only without the use of antidepressants. Most of time h...
A. 7 May 2011: Hi honey, Im not surprised you don't know how to handle things, you very young and this is a major challenge for anyone to experiance and handle. For what it's worth, I think you already are handling things thoughtfully and well. Are you part... (read in full...)
Heart full of hurt and head full of conflict!
Q. I am in my 40's and met a wonderful man. He is handsome, intelligent, caring, attentive, and just a good man all around. We have been together for almost a year. He was still married when we met and is now divorced. I had been single for 3 years ...
A. 7 May 2011: Hi there First bit of advise is - Postpone your move. We often talk about red flags, what to look, look out for and what to worry or be wary about. We frequently only see the 'good stuff' and choose to, or find it hard to see and consider the ... (read in full...)
Husband very violent and physical, can I ever trust him again?
Q. Been married for nearly 6 years. 4 months after we were married he got violent and did a few thousand dollars worth of damage to the house. I was horrified since we were not even arguing at all. He is mean in front of my girlfriends or when we ...
A. 2 May 2011: Unfortunately I don't think it would be wise to trust that he will not continue to be violent. It seem that he has a problem which he needs to get help for, immediately. The cycle of domestic violence is well documented and I suggest you search the ... (read in full...)
How should I confront my husband about his texting in bed when he thinks I am asleep?
Q. How should i confront my husband about him texting when he thinks i am asleep? My husband is sending a 'hi' msg on his bbm to his coworker at 12:30 am, while he thinks i am sleeping with our babies. what should you make of it?...
A. 2 May 2011: It sounds like he could be up to something I am afraid. And it is difficult to think of any innocent reason for him doing this, assuming the co-worker is female, it sounds like a major red flag. How do you know who he is messaging and are they ... (read in full...)
I was a narcissistic b*stard. I owe her full closure.
Q. Before I start I'm asking that you guys don't answer with remarks like you deserve it, leave her alone because what -m trying to do is needed because she needs to know I'm living up to my wrong. Its like this I hurt a really great gal awful bad. ...
A. 19 March 2011: Hi there, I found your post rather facinating and rather contradictory. It is a problem possibly many who inflict pain and damage during a relationship may end up experiancing. You indicate this is not about you wanting forgiveness etc,... (read in full...)
My partner is abusive so I am going to cheat on him!
Q. Is it justified for me to cheat if my partner is abusive to me? I shouldn't say justified, but rather is it a good reason. I know I should just leave him, but i don't know how at this point. He hits me and threatens me and verbally abuses me. ...
A. 11 March 2011: Hi there,
I don't think it is wise to cheat on any partner, irrespective of how things are in your relationship. What I do think is wise is to get out of this relationship as soon as you can.
If you are capable, willing to and confident about,... (read in full...)
I find myself wanting my exhusband back, even though he left me 2 years ago and has a fiance!
Q. my husband left me over 2 years ago because of a midlife crises,he has been so so nasty to me,he is still living with his parents but does have a girl friend 13 years younger than him self and they are seemingly engaged and planning to marry next ...
A. 10 March 2011: Hi there, I agree with all that has been said and understand the difficulty in "moving on". Your relationship was 21 years of your life and a massive chunk of your identity. Give yourself time to explore life with a new vision. Getting some hel... (read in full...)
Ex is good for nothing but sex!
Q. We got divorced after 21 years of marriage. After two years, I have now slept with 5 different men, but not one of them can make me have an orgasm, like my ex used to give me. My ex is a good for nothing except when it comes to sex. He won't have ...
A. 15 January 2009: Unfortunately I think he wants to be perhaps respected a little more than to be used as a vibrator hun. Sometimes with divorce comes a new type of relationship - without sex! Are you sure your not still in love with him and regret the divorce?... (read in full...)
I've wasted my life on a loser, now what am I going to do?
Q. Not sure where to start here really, but I feel I've got my 'just desserts'. I left a loving relationship (but not exciting one) for someone which was no more than a conman, in respect of who he really was. We've now been married 20yrs and all he h...
A. 7 July 2008: I think your husband is a narcassist. If I am wrong with that label, I apologise! But this is an experiance I am not too unfamiliar with!
When you are in such a relationship it is very difficult to fully see the games, triggers, lies, contradi... (read in full...)
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