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... Send *oja Exiles a private message | | | *oja Exiles's profile:I'm an American, and I live in China. I am in the fashion business, of design and import. I have a team of about 40 people that work for me. I enjoy my job and I enjoy giving advice. I am in a loving marriage with a beautiful son. We all live in Shanghai and will soon come home to America in the next two years.
I deal with a lot of people in my office, they all have problems, relationships, jobs and family issues. I don't push myself into them, I wait and allow them to come to me, I am extremely open with solid opinions, I don't sugar coat, but I also don't judge.
I think everyone decisions matter based off their current situation. emotionally, mentally, and the society around them. Hope I can help.
Even before that, my best friend was a female, a great girl not my ethnicity, I actually admired her even if she had many flaws and many problems, I found her fascinating. However one day she just changed and followed another path of life, I could not influence her, nor did I feel I had the right. I'm not happy that I lost a friend, but I did learn a lot during that time of my life. We are now opposites, I saw her again in 2008 after ten years and we have nothing in common.
I think its interesting how someone you used to relate to so much can drastically change. I also changed, I'm happy where I am now, I'm happy with my decisions, and I hope that I can make people happy with my advice. Even if I'm wrong, I hope I can get my point across. |
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We are constantly fighting due to his alcohol problem!
Q. hi everyone please help me i dont know what to,me and the father of my son broke up two years back and got back together this year but im not happy at all last time we broke up it was because of alchol and he promised he wil stop when we make up but ...
A. 18 December 2009: Ok, get off your high horse. You have a son, is this the kind of guy you want to be involved with your life?
take responsibility and focus on your son instead of yourself. My father was an alcoholic, and because of my strong mother I was able... (read in full...)
What is the least painful sexual position for a virgin?
Q. Im 14, and me and my bf are ready for sex for the first time, im kinda scared though, whats the easiest/ least painful position for first timers?...
A. 18 December 2009: You can wait a few years, and avoid the emotional and physical pain that will be attached with it. something I learned is how much a person is affected by having sex at a young age. If he can't wait, then he is not the right guy, save yourself... (read in full...)
I feel like the only time he wants to be alone with me is when he wants to have sex!
Q. My boyfriend is always playing games on his xbox live and him ad his friend are attached to the hip, the sit around all day playing xbox or somtimes they watch movies. I never get to spend alone time with him because I can never pull him away from ...
A. 18 December 2009: Yea, I have the xbox bad habit, but I usually keep it for after my wife sleeps, I learned to schedule around it better. but its not nearly as bad as what you are stating. I watch movies that my wife wants very often, and we go out all the time, ... (read in full...)
How do I figure out which employee to cut?
Q. The company I work for needs to down size my office by one position. Since I'm the manager it's up to me to figure out which position can be eliminated and create a strategy for re-directing the work load to the other 4 workers. There are two ...
A. 18 December 2009: I'm also a manager, and the executive decision is to keep the one producing. The slacker will only spread her bad habits. Now if your the one that cares about people more then the company, then you need to talk to the mother, let her know that... (read in full...)
Do boys ever mature?
Q. how do i feel better? i feel guys only wanna date me to prove a point to their friends im 19 nd a virgin. my very first bf broke up with me cuz he said the relationship got boring. then he lied about sleeping with me. then i met another guy who i ...
A. 18 December 2009: Do boys mature, I think there is always something within every guy that never matures. That does not mean that ever guy is a loser.
Unless you are looking for the same sex as he is, then you got to stay away.... (read in full...)
I find it difficult to move on!
Q. A couple of months ago my girlfriend broke up with me. It didn't last long, but it was the first relationship I've had that was in any way conventional or actually desired. And once we both seperated to go to university she ignored me for two ...
A. 18 December 2009: You do sound rational. but its painful right? It freaking sucks. I've been there, done that. I've been with someone that I worked with for about 9 months, girl of my dreams maybe, I was also a growing business man, money maker, all good. ... (read in full...)
Dumped before the baby was born, I found a new guy but now the ex wants back in!
Q. I was seeing this guy awhile back, we both weren't ready for a relationship and very immature. After that broke off I found a new guy and ended up falling in love with him. We ended up having a baby on December 4th [ yes just 2 weeks ago ]. But that ...
A. 18 December 2009: First off, he is not a new guy, he is an old Ex. So basically you are telling me that your new ex is your baby's father, and your old ex is your current boyfriend. Pickle. yes you are immature, that's a good thing that you admit it, I see a... (read in full...)
I put my life on hold but now I want to get it back
Q. Hi, I have a huge problem and I would appreciate some much needed helpful advice and an insight into what the heck is going on. I'm 21 years old I had a very troubling past but got my life on track. My partner and I got together two years ago. Just ...
A. 18 December 2009: You are not going to find your answer online talking to strangers. Your problem seems to be way too deep. You are not looking for advice, you seem to be looking for the ultimate answer. Only you can give yourself that. You need to let go.
... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my social awkwardness?
Q. I was wondering what people talk about when they go to a bar. I just got back tonight and a swear I cleared out the place. I had nothing to say. It's weird some nights I am easy going and talkative and other nights I am so shy I can hardly speak. ...
A. 18 December 2009: Yea, that's a difficult one. I also have a similar problem. However I'm not bipolar, and I do great in bars, but I suck at clubs. Everyone wants to go to clubs, but I really suck in them. So, I stay away from them.
Take into account when you... (read in full...)
Will I get him back?
Q. Ok,(I gotta give some background here) so I was with this guy, lets call him Bob for this, for 8 months. It was absolutely amazing. He changed my life. Literally. He loved me, I loved and still love him. It was a great relationship. We never really ...
A. 18 December 2009: Don't be put in the box, not mature enough? not old enough? I've done it before, with the story that I'll be back, wasen't because she was immature, it was more because I was not ready for a serious relationship.
Don't fall victim. Either h... (read in full...)
How can I stop my former teacher from sexually abusing someone else?
Q. I am desperately seeking advice or help on this -- I am 19 now; but when i was at school i had a bad experience with my teacher. I had my shirt tucked in by him when i was 11 and thus established a crush on him which pushed me to move into his grou...
A. 18 December 2009: Now that's a story. You have a mission, you are young and ambitious. If you really can't stop thinking about it and really need to do something, then you have an obsession. You should not feed into it, but I have to say, if I was in your ... (read in full...)
After 12 years of friendship I have been dumped because God told him I wasnt the right woman
Q. Today wasn't really a good day my boyfriend and I broke up a couple days ago and this is really hurting becaus him and I have been friend for almost 12 years so Ialready loved him well u see he's started getting into church but in the process he ...
A. 18 December 2009: Damn, that really sucks for you. 12 years. The god thing took over his life. Same thing append with me, with my friend. He was always really cool with me, we drank together, get girls together, video games, things guys do. then one day, he had ... (read in full...)
Does my husband just want his cake and eat it too?
Q. my husband thinks its alright to keep in contact with his ex's. this has been an issue for me because i found messages from 1 of them telling him how much she loves him and misses him. so when i confront him he gets angry with me and says that "am ...
A. 18 December 2009: Sounds innocent, but its not. He gets used to this behavior, he will keep his leash as long as possible, eventually treading farther then you expected. He is your husband, not your boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my online friend I like him even though he has mental issues?
Q. I have a good friend in Canada who I met online a few years ago. I would have to say he's one of my best friends, and as I've gotten to know him, I sort of developed a crush. Problem is, he's Canadian, and I'm American. He's 27 and I'm 18. He also ...
A. 18 December 2009: You are 18 years old, you are in the U.S. he is Canada (distance), had a stalker, and has been diagnosed as a schizophrenic and depression.
Have you ever heard of those girls that have bad boyfriends, maybe he is rude, or obnoxious. Maybe he... (read in full...)
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