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How can I stop my former teacher from sexually abusing someone else?

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 December 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am desperately seeking advice or help on this --

I am 19 now; but when i was at school i had a bad experience with my teacher. I had my shirt tucked in by him when i was 11 and thus established a crush on him which pushed me to move into his group when i was 14. At first he seemed really nice and kind, but things got bad he became very innappropriate and started touching me and masturbating in front of me amongst other things. He tried to blackmail me into a sex for grades 'contract' twice and i got out of it both times and eventually when i was 18 i reported it to the police who investigated but found little evidence and so the case was dropped.

He was a renowned pervert, tucking students shirts in for them, innappropriate remarks, being generally quite 'touchy-feely'. There were people who saw his behaviour with me but they didnt want involvement and said nothing about it. The deputy head lied for him in places and tried to intimidate me. The teacher in question wasnt even suspended and i feel sure that he will do it again.

People keep telling me to drop this and move on to put it behind me and i know thats what i should do. But i cant help thinking about what hes going to do to the next one, how i felt so bad when i was in that situation. I was lucky nothing that bad went on because i refused him but someone else might not make that same decision. He is head of department and on the governing board at the school. Social services werent interested and noone seems to care or want to do anything about it. I want to find out if he has done anything like this to anyone before me, whether he is starting on someone new now. I just want to stop him!! I can't stop thinking about what he does, it upsets me so much. I can't move on whilst knowing that someone else is going to make the same mistakes i did, whilst i know he is waiting for the next one.

Please, i need advice; how would i find others who suffered the same? How can i stop history repeating itself????

View related questions: crush, move on, my teacher

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A male reader, Soja Exiles United States +, writes (18 December 2009):

Soja Exiles agony auntNow that's a story. You have a mission, you are young and ambitious. If you really can't stop thinking about it and really need to do something, then you have an obsession. You should not feed into it, but I have to say, if I was in your situation, I would feed the flame. Some people who are amazing with their jobs are usually obsessed with them.

You need to learn his habits, keep track of where he goes, who he talks with. become friends with his friends without him or them knowing. You need to get into his life. Be smart, before you try to accuses him, you need proof, you need evidence. You need to understand how the laws work as well, lots or reading, studying. Whats your Major in school, if I were you I would take up something that will benefit my goals.

What do you have? the right motivation, if more people with your motivation existed, this place will be a lot better. Instead the motivation is reserved for rapist, business men, and psychos.

I don't doubt that obsessed people do their job best. You want proof, just think about your former educator, he is obsessed, he does his job well and I'm not talking about him teaching. This guy has been doing this probably way before you feel victim.

So you can call yourself his adversary. It's a sick world we live out there, these laws that protect us, sometimes victimize us, another pedophile walking the streets, a rapist gets parole, a murderer gets five years. Sometimes you got to take things into your own hands, follow the rules, because believe it or not, your teacher is following the rules, its why he has not gotten caught. You need to expose him, that's the key. Once you learned what the rules are, you need to catch him breaking them.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):

This worked for a friend of mine who was going against the man who beat her. They both worked in the same company. So she simply told everyone, in your case I'd follow this. Tell any pupils you meet, any teachers, head teachers, governers, local newspapers. Eventually he'll either move on to another area (at least then you feel that you did something) or the police will reopen the case. I think that it's great that you're fighting against this!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):

You need to catch him in the act. And it needs to be in camera.

You need to gather evidence that cannot be refuted. If Scotland Yard isn't willing to get off their asses and do their jobs properly, then you'll need to help them along any way you can. By making it easy for them.

Chances are this guy will re-offend. You need to somehow get him to admit it, on record.

This is why cops wiretap people.

Flynn 24

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (15 December 2009):

This is an awful situation to be in, because you've been to the law, you've been to the teachers and nobody has helped. I think it's very important that you get yourself some counselling, because you can be helped to understand your feelings, and they may be able to help you and help someone else. Other than that, thanks to our wonderful British laws, there's very little you can do :(.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (15 December 2009):

Aunty BimBim agony auntSee it there is any organisations in the UK who are fighting against child sexual predators. Phone your nearest telephone couselling service who should have a list of people and organisation who may be able to help you.

Good luck in your quest!

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