A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a good friend in Canada who I met online a few years ago. I would have to say he's one of my best friends, and as I've gotten to know him, I sort of developed a crush. Problem is, he's Canadian, and I'm American. He's 27 and I'm 18. He also has some mental issues (depression, schizophrenia), a stalker, and to top it all off, we're both dirt poor. Of all the guys I've ever talked to, I feel like he's the only one I could tell anything to without being afraid of his response. I also have an inkling that he likes me too, but he's afraid to say anything (for all the reasons I already mentioned). My parents don't know he exists, which is probably a good thing (they don't approve of me talking to people on the internet, even though I never give away personal information beyond my first name).Obviously, I want to say something, but I'm terrified to start something that couldn't possibly work and have it turn out very bad, maybe even damaging/ruining our friendship. I just don't know what to do. Can anybody offer some advice?
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female
reader, texasgal +, writes (12 January 2010):
Schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, major depression...These are called MAJOR MENTAL DISORDERS for a reason. Schizophrenia is a chronic, deteriorating, debilitating disease. There is no cure. I feel sorry for all the schizophrenics out there (2% of the population in the US); heavens knows they need friends. But you are young, can you handle this? Did you ever see the movie Sibyl with Sally Fields? She had multiple personalty disorder. She had a nice guy friend. Once he became aware of her problem, he had to back off even tho he really liked her. He just knew he couldn't handle it. Try to be a real friend, that's what he needs. But try to protect yourself from the pain that is surely in store by learning everything you can about his mental issues
A
male
reader, Soja Exiles +, writes (18 December 2009):
 You are 18 years old, you are in the U.S. he is Canada (distance), had a stalker, and has been diagnosed as a schizophrenic and depression.
Have you ever heard of those girls that have bad boyfriends, maybe he is rude, or obnoxious. Maybe he cheated on her, maybe even abused their girlfriends.
With all the losers out there, are you going to settle for a mentally unstable person? Go for it if you are looking for some kind of unstable life, wild and disappointing future. I'm not sure if you feel sorry for him, or feel that you have seen the side of him that no one else see's, maybe he does make you feel better.
the bottom line is, you don't feel comfortable about it now, you are asking strangers online, and you are keeping it from your parents. It's obvious that you know something is wrong. Trust your instincts, when you do find the right guy, you won't ask these questions, you will be excited to tell your parents, because it won't be attached to shame, you will be nervous to tell him you like him, because you want a future with him.
keep him as an online friend, it sounds healthy, but keep it at that. Share words though the internet though stories, I think you can learn a lot, but don't do anything rash, all you need to do is share your feelings and then the flood doors open. keep those doors closed, I'm talking though experience.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, he's not the stalker- he HAS a stalker. I'm pretty sure he said the stalker was arrested, but I'm not sure.
I understand the severity of schizophrenia; one of my friends here at home is schizophrenic. I know it's a rough disorder. And I also know that he might be different online than in person. He's been taking drugs that pretty much keep the depression and schizophrenia reigned in, but he sort of alternates between longish and somewhat predictable periods of happiness and melancholy because of it.
Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it.
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