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After 12 years of friendship I have been dumped because God told him I wasnt the right woman

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 December 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 December 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *owerhouse writes:

Today wasn't really a good day my boyfriend and I broke up a couple days ago and this is really hurting becaus him and I have been friend for almost 12 years so Ialready loved him well u see he's started getting into church but in the process he never asked ms to come along with him and what wound up happen is it put distant between us because he thought I wasn't interested in GoD so he started pointing a finger but the worst part is he wasn't bonding with my son and after a year ifelt as though he should have had a relationship with my son especially if he was tlking about marriage and moving I. But to make a long story short I did ask once to go with him to bible study and he told me I didn't ask yougo and that hurt me bad so when we broke I thought it was the right thing to do because he wasn't givingmy son thT attention especially if u was trying to be with me mind u my son is only 8 but then he sends me a voice mail saying he not going to the bAr no more having sex without being married and no staying nights and I'm like wow he is starting a life without me but then he said that GOD told him I wasn't the women for him in any way and that crush me I been ur friend for 12 years andthis is how u treat me but it's funny because i. Still love him that's the crazy thing to do but I hate him at the SAmme time 12 years down the drain because we can never be friends again what do I do my. Hurt is in pain I don't what to do this hurt so much I would have neve thought he would have treated me this way never it'salmost like he met someone else

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009):

Sounds like he wants to follow all the way and not just play church.He probably feels convicted for his past immoral lifestyle and wants to make it right.Don't take it so personally. He is learning to set boundries for himslf.I hope he doesn't treat you disrespectfully. We are all equal in God's eyes, all have failed and come short.Thank God for grace(unearned merrit).He loves us all unconditionally.

He (bf)may just need time alone to establish his own person identity with God.

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A male reader, Soja Exiles United States +, writes (18 December 2009):

Soja Exiles agony auntDamn, that really sucks for you. 12 years. The god thing took over his life. Same thing append with me, with my friend. He was always really cool with me, we drank together, get girls together, video games, things guys do. then one day, he had an epiphany. Suddenly I'm the bad guy, I am dirty, and because I respect other people religion, such as Buddha, and Jewish, I'm not good enough for god.

So me not good enough for god meant I'm not good enough for him, why do I need that. I was friends with him for about 18 years that day.

This is the same guy that said that Children in Africa that never even heard of god or even seen the catholic bible, meaning that they have no means of access to the book, if they died without believing in "GOD" that they will go to hell...

Who needs that, sad to say, it sucks for you, there is nothing you can do, might as well continue living your life as you used to. He changed, and rejected you. obviously its not your fault, it sucks, but then again so much crap happens that sucks that's not the persons fault.

by the way, my wife. she is a christian catholic, I'm more of an agnostic, we don't question our views, nor do we push our views into each other. Apparently my wife's god is a little more lenient, or maybe the whole woman vs man thing is there, you know the bible is full of sexism, I guess it works in my favor. You did not deserve that, and the biggest reason why, is because you did not ask for it, he basically surprised you.

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A female reader, LaraC United Kingdom +, writes (17 December 2009):

You're probably better off without him if he hasn't been able to form a relationship with your son after this long.

The god business is probably just his way of dumping you without having to do so to your face, cowardly some might say....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):

Please try to understand him. He may well be a later day profit. Do you don't want to bring the wrath of the almighty Lord down on you by forcing yourself on him and turning him away from righteousness?

I suggest that you pray to the almighty Father in heaven for your salvation, to pardon you for leading this good man into temptation of the flesh in your arms. Perhaps He will have mercy on you and guide you to meet your ordained mate for life one day.

In the name of the Lord, Hallelujah! Amen.

Now go in peace my child and sin no more!

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (16 December 2009):

You often see this kind of fanaticism and radicalism in new converts of every religion. Later as they see that their expectations are not being met they tone it down or give up all together. You may well have to help him pick up the pieces when the inevitable disappointment comes. If he has converted to Christianity, only a cult-like interpretation would require him to give up a good relationship. If you still want him as a friend, ask him which church he belongs to then maybe find out by phoning them what its all about. Personally I wouldn't put my life on hold for someone who is moving on with theirs. I'm sorry about your pain tho.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009):

If he thinks God is speaking to him then consider yourself truly blessed to have him dump you. Who knows what God will tell him in the future. It sounds as though he is in a cult and no amount of persuasion is going to allow him to see reality until he is in deep do-do.

You are now free. Seek and you shall find. Ask and it will be given to you.

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A male reader, Athleticmind United States +, writes (16 December 2009):

When one person in a relationship "finds God," a separation

can occur in the perceptions of he/she who has "found God."

In the case of Christianity, there's a popular passage that speaks of "not being unequally yoked." What this means is that unless you and he both see things in a way that goes along with his new way of seeing things, he may begin to feel that you and he are not equally yoked. Another factor may be that his relationship with you prior to his finding God may have possible involved activities that are considered unbecoming to his church. An example of this might cohabitation outside of wedlock.

If you and he truly are friends, and truly do love each other as friends, then some day this love between you will show itself as it truly is. You have to search your own heart to know this. True friendship means that "I'm okay and you're okay, and that whatever happens, I'll still love you...as a friend!" In the area of what is practical, in seeking a romantic relationship wherein both partners are mutually compatible, you should cosider seeking someone who is equally yoked to YOU. Write the rules yourself of what that means to you, and then go out and find someone that fits the bill.

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