A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok,(I gotta give some background here) so I was with this guy, lets call him Bob for this, for 8 months. It was absolutely amazing. He changed my life. Literally. He loved me, I loved and still love him. It was a great relationship. We never really fought. We got along great, we still do. We have so much in common, it's crazy. We think alike, we like the same things. It's like ying and yang. Now, we've been broken up for almost 5 months now. He ended it because I wasn't grown up enough at that time. Yes, some of you might say, bull****. But it was true. The only thing now is that when I'm "grown" he said he won't want me back, even though we were amazing together and I know he still has feelings for me. (In a guys head, he's put them in some little box out of the way for now.) I just want to know, when I mature more, do you think he'll come back to me? If you need more info, I'd be more than happy to supply it. I literally cannot see myself with anyone else. I know some people tell you to look at the good and bad things and move on, but I can't find any bad. And that's it...Will he come back to me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): Alrighty guys, it's me the poster. Call me Arashi for now. I'm replying to you through this mainly because I don't feel like registering and all that. I will do my best to answer all the questions and things you had in your answers. Keep in mind, I can be very stubborn and determined, and I will strongly defend myself and all that other good stuff. Or whatever I believe in. I also just like to get peoples opinions. The answers I give will probably be long...just a by the way. And lots of different info in here for you guys...just in case you didn't feel like reading all of this. And I state once again, I like opinions, but it doesn't mean I'll take them to heart. Though some I will consider. If I haven't already.
Soon567:
Things he likes to do: Wow, a lot of things. Video games, psychology, fantasy, debating, intellectual conversations, he's extremely social, likes to be busy and do things, piano, writing. He is a very, very intelligent guy. (And I say that knowing that even very intelligent men can be stupid at times or go through retarded phases.) Is that enough info on that? I could probably say more.
Age: He is in my age range as well. He's only a year or so older than I am. We'll keep his and my ages between 18-20.
Work status: Well, this is where some people will wonder why I put up with him. He has had 3 jobs this year. He got his first job because of me. He had someone to live for and all that. He didn't have drive before he met me. My work status isn't great either. We both have been looking this year. Is that helpful?
He is very much like me. He's honest, smart, funny, kind, a very good friend. Not what I want though. When we were together, we actually talked about being married and having kids and all that. It still seems possible to me. I don't know why, it just does. I have weird feelings that usually, later on, I'm right about. What else do you want to know? I can name a lot of things.
Soja Exiles:
He never said I wasn't old enough. And the thing is, I can see that I wasn't mature enough. I will defend that because before him, no one pointed out that half the things I was doing, weren't really good for me. He pointed them out and I saw that. For example: being respectful, not being violent(because I have been for a long time. I used to just hit people for saying something. How mature is that?), not being depressed and all that. It's just typical things that most people, in my opinion, need or have worked on. Now, I'm not changing for him, I'm changing for myself because I see the value in not doing or doing some of the things I have to do.
(Little insert between answers here. He never once treated me badly. Ever. I can say that for a fact. He never abused me in any way. I am not brainwashed or anything. He is a very good person. Even if he doesn't fully believe that himself.)
Rainorfire: I have been doing my best to leave him alone. Since we first went out back in December of '08, I for the first time have not seen him in person in (not including church, because we go to the same one) almost 2 weeks. Before that the longest time was 3 days. And before that, less that 24 hours between seeing him. Even after we broke up. So I am now trying to distance myself and let him be as much as I can. I'm trying to be patient because I can see something happening. I'm just waiting on him. Though, I'm hoping he's just going through a retarded phase and see what he's missing at some point. Thank you for your suggestion on moving on. Though, I think it's wrong for me to move on to someone else when I still love "Bob". I don't like to hurt other people. I still, after 5 months, and now two weeks of not seeing him, cannot go a day without thinking about him.
Sadnat:
you said "you know maybe now is just not the right time for us but who knows what the future will bring"
He has said that. He has said many many things. Some I'm willing to believe more than others. Others because they make no sense and he's just being stupid. Cause I know when he's being stupid. I get him for it later.
He has told me he's still waiting for me, though I think it's turned around and I'm waiting for him. Even though I'm still working on myself. Um...yeah...still probably lots to tell, but that's up to you guys what you ask and I tell. :) Let's see how you all do with my new answers.
I also thank you all for responding. I didn't actually think people would. So thank you.
A
male
reader, Soja Exiles +, writes (18 December 2009):
 Don't be put in the box, not mature enough? not old enough? I've done it before, with the story that I'll be back, wasen't because she was immature, it was more because I was not ready for a serious relationship.
Don't fall victim. Either he is trying to let you off easy, or he wants to save you for a possible maybe in the future. Either way he's not the right guy. Even if you are immature in his eyes, maybe your not in someone else. Do you really want to be with a guy that is already looking down on you, even though he was with you for so long, what does that say about him? Sounds more like a coward.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (18 December 2009):
 thats strang it doesnt make since to me i guess you could just give him time but really i think your gonna have to move on for some reason he doesnt want to be with you any more people do strange things, maybe if you leave him alone he will realize what hes missing maybe you could get a friend to talk to him any way good luck i suggest not wating for this guy cause you could be awhile
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A
female
reader, Sadnat  +, writes (18 December 2009):
 ok how old are you and how old is he?
thats my first question.If you guys were so good together why did he feel that you were imature for him, i think thats quite insulting.the number one clue here is....that he said he wont take you back even if you grew up. what is that telling you...? He has moved on. i know its a heartbreaking thought but did it ever occur to you that maybe he used your maturity as an excuse to leave you, he probably didnt want to hurt you. im sorry if i am being too blunt but i just feel a decent girl should never long for ar run after someone who clearly doesnt want her. i did it so many times and totally regret it, because there are other fish in the sea that will be just as great if not better. His excuse for leaving you was pretty lame unless he is much older than you. you sound like such a sweet girl and he doesnt sound interested. you know that book and movie HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU? this is one of those moment cause if he truely did love you he would have said, you know maybe now is just not the right time for us but who knows what the future will bring. But then again maybe he doesnt want to give you hope, its a real difficult one but if i were you i would just try and build a friendship and move on for now. good luck though.
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