Is it wrong to lose your virginity to someone you're not going out with?
Q. I wonder - im still a virgin and this one guy wants to have sex with me but we are not going out , do you think its wrong to lose your virginity to someone you don't go out with ? and yeah im jst 16 years old ...
A. 14 October 2008: You haven't actually mentioned in your letter whether you want to have sex with him. Which is kinda important. You don't have to sleep with someone just because they are offering...
And whatever you do, whenever you do sleep with someone,... (read in full...)
How do I win this other man over so I can be with him without hurting the guy I'm engaged to?
Q. i am engaged, but love someone else, but he wont talk to me though because i am engaged. i want to know how this other man feels before i decide what to do, the question is how do i find out without asking him, or how do i win this other man over ...
A. 14 October 2008: You can't have your cake and eat it, I'm afraid (although I never did understand that - surely that's the point of cake?!)
You shouldn't stary engaged to someone when you love someone else. It's not fair on any of you. You need to break off your... (read in full...)
We've been apart six months now, we aren't 'commited' but he's all I think about. He seems to be moving on with his life, should I do the same?
Q. I met this guy at work and initially we connected on a level i've never experienced. We met at work as we both work away from home in our kind of business, I fell in Love with him ... trouble is he had to leave and go back to the uk (we were in ...
A. 14 October 2008: I think you should certainly try other relationships whilst he's not there. He seems to have made it obliquely clear that he will be doing so. I think if he really was into you, he wouldn't be telling you things like 'You're not something he can ... (read in full...)
It's like we say "I love you' out of habit now. I don't want to hurt her - which is worse, staying in this comfortable but sparkless relationship or leaving?
Q. Ok so here goes. I've been in a relationship for the past 8 years with a wonderful woman. She is sweet, kind, funny, smart, all the things you could possibly want in a mate, but for some reason the spark is all but gone. I'm just not physically ...
A. 14 October 2008: You do need to talk things through with her. She might be feeling the same but she also could be feeling that everything is wonderful. I think it might help you to try and pinpoint exactly what you feel is wrong in the relationship. And forget ... (read in full...)
I thought it was my 'dream job', but since starting it my life has felt so empty. I feel alone and worthless and it is getting hard to put on a fake smile - what should I do?
Q. I thought i had it all the perfect friends the perfect man and the perfect job .... i worked all my life to get the job i have now and at the end of the day I'm so miserable! my job took me away from home so i grew distant with my friends and my ...
A. 14 October 2008: You sound depressed. Find a counsellor or a therapist you can talk things through with. And start looking for another job?... (read in full...)
I'm not a prude, it's just that no guy has the guts to ask me out - how do I stop focusing on this?
Q. so my friends might think im a prude because they're always flirting with guys and kissing them, and i'm like always there without a boyfirend. dont get me wrong alot of guys find me very attractive but none of them have the guts enough to ask me ...
A. 14 October 2008: Sweetie, you can ask guys out... There's no law against it. Try it. See what happens...... (read in full...)
What do you guys think, is he falling for me? Is this love?
Q. im 22 almost 23 the guy im seeing is 24. Well im wondering if he is falling for me by this statement: "I dont know, this whole thing is scaring me i just know that when i kiss you everything feels right" Both of us have been in really bad relat...
A. 14 October 2008: I'm afraid the only advice I can give you is to take things sow - particularly if you've both had bad relationships in the past. But enjoy this bit - because nothing feels as wonderful as falling for someone...
:)... (read in full...)
I'm confused about my sexuality - do these feelings make me gay, bi or what?
Q. Ok, I'm a 15 years old girl who's a little scared and confused about her sexuality! I'm attracted to guys by their appearance and personality. But, I'm attracted to girls sexually, appearance, and personality! Does this make me gay/bi or what?!...
A. 14 October 2008: Hmmm. I prefer to think of sexuality as a continuum - people don't necessarily have to cut themselves off from either sex. And at 15, you're pretty young to start labelling yourself as one thing or the other. Just see where it takes you, enjoy ... (read in full...)
Can I move out of the country without my child's father stopping me?
Q. If i wanted to move out of ireland could i without the child's father stopping me? his name isn't on the birth certificate but he took me to court and he got a parental responsibilty thing. he isn't paying child support or anything like that. he ...
A. 12 October 2008: You need some proper legal advice - I suggest going to a solicitor or trying the Citizen's Advice Bureau - do Ireland have an equivalent?... (read in full...)
I'm crazy about this guy I met at uni, and now we work together and I don't know what to do!
Q. i have been really crazy about this guy i met at uni.. i asked him out at uni he never really answered the question.. we always used to meet up after lectures and he used to be really flirty with me. he broke my heart one day when he told me he had ...
A. 12 October 2008: Ask him out. What's the worst that could happen?... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend act differently with his friends and brothers around?
Q. My friend (we'll call her... Lily) noticed something about my boyfriend (we'll call him... Greg) that I noticed too. See, whenever we hang out (just Greg, Lily, and I) he acts differently than when Greg, Lily, Me, and a bunch of Greg's guy friends ...
A. 12 October 2008: Guys like to mark out their territory. Some do, anyway. Sad, but true - if it's making you uncomfortable, however, he really should be taking your feelings into consideration and not pawing you. Also, take into account how your friends feel - ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is very stressed out with his work, how can I change that and spend more time together?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a good while now, but here lately he's been very busy. He's getting signed(possibly)to a recording contract soon, so he's constantly been working on his album and he just doesn't seem to have the time for ...
A. 12 October 2008: Maybe it's worth talking to him? Booking some serious quality time after this whirlwind is over might give you both something to look forward to...... (read in full...)
Should I go to meet this guy in Europe after what might have been a simple holiday fling?
Q. I recently fell in love with a married man from a far-off land (something I personally don't approve of and yet it has happened to me!). He came for a visit a month ago to my country. I had met him five months earlier in his own country and while ...
A. 12 October 2008: You could meet him again and just keep it casual, but I think you should ask yourself why you want to commit to or have a relationship with a man who is essentially unavailable - he's not just married, he's in another time zone!... (read in full...)
Do I tell my ex about my new love?
Q. Hi Everyone, I am so confused right now so I really need some help with this! Here is the scenario: I ended a 7 year relationship with my girlfriend about 2 years ago as we had been together since the age of 17 and decided that I needed to...
A. 12 October 2008: Why are you still clinging on to this relationship with your ex? Surely you could have just taken a break or something whilst you went around the world? Your heart doesn't sound like it's in that relationship anymore, so do her and yourself a ... (read in full...)
Should I give him my virginity?
Q. i fancied my best guy friend for so long and plucked up the courage to tell him how i feel (it took me months)..and he said he used to fancy me and has been messing with my head ever sence, blowing hot and cold and then saying he wants to be ...
A. 12 October 2008: I think you know the answer to this one, really. You're not sure otherwise, you wouldn't be posting a message on here. And if you're not sure, don't do it. You always remember your first time. Make sure you remember it for the right reasons. ... (read in full...)
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