A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i fancied my best guy friend for so long and plucked up the courage to tell him how i feel (it took me months)..and he said he used to fancy me and has been messing with my head ever sence, blowing hot and cold and then saying he wants to be "friends" then asking to hold my hand or kiss me..last night we were out ..and i had enough and i ignored him and he called my name and he came over and was saying I was one of the most amazing people he has ever met, and the reason he doesnt want to take it further is because he found out I am a virgin and he doesn't want me to lose something so special to him and "regret" it after.. he was touching my face as we were talking and holding me really close. then he said he was jealous of me still having my virginity as he regrets losing his to someone he didnt even know.any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): You need to be sure that these aren't more mind games he is playing with you... you did say he had been messing with your head. Dont surrender your virtue to flattery, for anyone can sweet talk you...what you have to do is discern
1. Whether he means what he is saying as I perceive you are looking for more than sex (sex is not intimacy)
2. Whether you can handle the change from friend to lover particularly if it all goes pear shaped
Clearly I don't know you so it is hard to know where you stand on the issue but if you are looking for more than just sex... take your time, and build towards it, only make that decision once you understand where the relationship is going for if it is love and a relationship you seek that should be the way you go. Remember Love is patient, always perseveres, is kind and requires both truth and trust, sex on the other hand just needs two willing bodies and no engagement from the heart, in your decision just be clear what you want.
A
female
reader, SarahOwen  +, writes (12 October 2008):
I think you know the answer to this one, really. You're not sure otherwise, you wouldn't be posting a message on here. And if you're not sure, don't do it. You always remember your first time. Make sure you remember it for the right reasons. This guy sounds like he's just messing with you and you deserve better than that
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A
female
reader, [email address blocked]  +, writes (12 October 2008):
that guy is in it to ruin you. He's manipulating and confusing you, sending mixed signals. If you give in to him it will Probaly negativly effect every relationship you have in the future. You don't want this creep to be a reference guide fir your future relationship adventures. God bless you.
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A
female
reader, murderous_daydreams +, writes (12 October 2008):
I know how you feel, I liked my best guy friend for a long time too, but something your frind didn't do, was fool you. My friend told me he loved me, and he told me that I should lose it to him. I did, and now, I regret it because now he just avoids me and talks about it to his friends. I'm letting you know, I'm only thirteen,so you don't have to trust my advise. Do me one favor, and don't let him take that innocense from you. Your virginity is much too special and besides, if he does actually love you, he won't want to be the one to take it because losing your virginity physically hurts, and I don't think he'd want to hurt you. Until you know your one hundred percent ready, than, you can be sure. But don't lose it now, I made a mistake, and I don't want you to make it too.
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A
male
reader, karlgoo +, writes (12 October 2008):
 If he does not want you to lose your virginity to him because he is afraid you would regret it, I would suggest that you do not because it seems that he does not want to commit only to you and hurt you because he does not have the dedication only for you is how it seems.
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