If we are to be together, again, I want a committment..not a casual friendship! What do you think he'll do?
Q. I was in a relationship for four years, absolutely adored the guy until I found he cheated on me and threw him out. When we were together everything seemed perfect as I am a very caring individual. Well six months later he's contacted me saying he ...
A. 26 September 2006: Deep down you know the answer to this one don't you? Yes he is thinking of himself ONLY, not you, if he really cared for you he would have left you alone to meet someone you loves you & wouldnt cheat on you.It would be different if he was coming ... (read in full...)
I have a memory of something I did as a child..and I need help in dealing with it. Please help!
Q. Firt of all, i love all of your guys advice but PLEASE do not tell me to get help. All i need to know is something. I don't want professional help. I know how i feel and i know with just talking about it online or in person to someone helps. When i ...
A. 26 September 2006: You sound like a very caring, responsible person to me. Maybe there is something going on for you still now within your sexuality that you are trying to explore, & this is bringing up your past memory. Children have very natural sexual urges & have ... (read in full...)
I don't want my ex back... I just want him to acknowledge that I was a good woman!
Q. For the past year I have been dating a man, 19 years my senior. He was overseas for almost 20 years and decided to come back home, giving an impression that he was wealthy and had his own business. It later transpired he is broke and lives his ...
A. 10 June 2005: You have only known this man for one year.You were a wonderful, caring,loving,woman before that, so don't doubt yourself now! But you do need to acknowledge & own the fact, that you were willing to be with this man at the beginning when all he ... (read in full...)
Can I trust him not to betray me again by masturbating to porn?
Q. I recently found out that my boyfriend looked at porn and masturbated. He said he wanted to stop for me because every time he did it he felt like he was betraying me. This has me so worried because if he felt like he was betraying me and couldnt ...
A. 10 June 2005: Don't YOU masturbate? No, maybe you should try it! Please go to your local libaray & look up sexuality before becoming too involved in an intimate realationship. Let this guy be himself.When you are apart & you are missing him, or even when your ... (read in full...)
My ex is off drugs and wants to come back, but in the meantime I'm dating someone else, too!
Q. I have gotten myself in a bit of a love triangle and I am suffering completely for it. Please help. My boyfriend of 2 years and I had been experiencing many bad times. He always ignored me, was around then wasn't around, and we fought a lot to s...
A. 10 June 2005: Why is it that we as women seem to have SO much trouble in making a decision then sticking with it? Look very deeply into why you broke off with your X.What's really changed? 3 weeks is not long enough to know if he is off the drugs yet.It usually ... (read in full...)
I'd like his friends to be my friends, too, but will that look odd?
Q. I want to be friends with my boyfriend's friends but I don't want to make it seem like I'm flirting with them. Everytime we're in a group, I go silent because I don't really know any of his friends. I'd like to get to know them but I only com...
A. 9 June 2005: This one is a bit tricky as it may seem to your boyfriend that you fancy some of his mates.Try to see him one to one, or better still ask a few of your girlfriends to come round for a get together with the guys as well.Leave him to his buddy time, ... (read in full...)
First he said he wanted to sleep with me... now, he's dropped completely out of contact!
Q. I've been in love with my best friend's brother for three years. Recently he's told me he wants to sleep with me. I went round and spent the night, we didn't get all the way but very nearly. Now he hasn't spoken to me in a month, not on the phon...
A. 9 June 2005: I feel this guy has often noticed you over the years, but in a different way than you have felt for him.He has been attracted to you,but out of respect for his friend has held back.Your obvious desire for him finally got a bit out of control & he ... (read in full...)
He was separated when we first went out; now his wife is back!
Q. Dear Cupid, a few months ago I met this guy who truly loves me, and the problem is he was once married and has a child. When I met him he was separated from his wife and child, so I went out with him with no problem. Now she is back, I don't know ...
A. 7 June 2005: What do you mean she is back? How long was she really gone? Is she living with him again or trying to get him back? You say he really loves you, well this is the test that will let you know for sure. Marriage & children are a huge commitment & he ... (read in full...)
My online guy isn't over his ex... but I want him to know that I'm The One for him!
Q. I met this great guy on-line and he has been very upfront and honest with me. He and his ex-girl just broke up 3 months ago. However he states he has not gotten over her and is pretty obsessed with her, and yet he tells me I am 310 times better than ...
A. 7 June 2005: You say what can you do to shock him into knowing that you are the one for him. I can give you the answer but you won't like it. If you really care about this guy then you have to put your needs to one side & allow him to figure out who he wants ... (read in full...)
What can I say to my friend to convince her to leave her abusive boyfriend?
Q. I have a very dear friend who has been involved in a relationship with a guy for about 18 months now. He has, over this time, become emotionally and mentally abusive towards her, and it is breaking her down. She was always a friendly, bubbly ...
A. 7 June 2005: What a kind friend you are. You can support your friend while she goes through this, but you can't help her if she does not want to help herself. If he becomes abusive again tell her that as her friend you will not stand by & see her treated like ... (read in full...)
He's made comments I haven't responded to yet. But what do his emails mean?
Q. Hi, there's a lot of chemistry between myself and a guy I used to work with. He once said to me- 'I feel like I connect with you.' Year later, he emailed me (in response to one of my emails) and wrote ' I think about you on many levels'. Six months ...
A. 7 June 2005: True love directs itself & leaves you with no question of his feelings about you. If this guy hasn't made a positive move yet, he is just flirting. Have some fun by all means, but find someone more worthy of your sweet affections. As one door closes ... (read in full...)
Attracted to my best friend's wife, though we both know better than to do anything about it...
Q. A passionate embrace ignited feelings for my best friend's wife ( his sister is my partner!). I am also good friends with their parents. Only a brief phone call to this lady has occured since. We have agreed not to pursue a relationship as the ...
A. 7 June 2005: What a nice guy you are. Don't beat yourselves up over this, but yes, listen to your own common sense. Attraction to another so close is quite natural. Allow yourself to feel the attraction & the desire & be flattered by it,just as she can. But of ... (read in full...)
I was the one who broke it off. Now I want to get over him!
Q. I am still in love with my ex-boyfriend who is married and is trying for a baby with his new wife. I was the one who ended our relationship 5 years ago How can I stop thinking about him and regretting what I've done? ...
A. 7 June 2005: We humans are funny creatures. We think we are controlled by our feelings but WE control our feelings with our thoughts. You say he is trying to have a baby with his new wife & that you broke up 5 years ago. Well my love, you have had a very long ... (read in full...)
At the party, things went well, but she hasn't called me since. Do I call her?
Q. I'll try to make this short. I met this girl on the internet and he hit it off pretty good and have had long conversations for about a month. We met face to face on Friday and things went very well in my opinion, and she invited me to a party th...
A. 7 June 2005: This seems like a great opportunity to get to know this girl even more. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Even tho she said she would ring you later, she was the one who asked you to the party on your last date together. So it would be best for you ... (read in full...)
Even when I know they're not available or interested, I fall in love... and I fall hard.
Q. Hi, I can't stop having unrequited loves! Every time I move on I think it'll be easier in the future if it happens again, and I think that I'll be able to stop it from happening again, but obviously I can't help falling for someone, and they can't ...
A. 6 June 2005: When a woman seem's to be on a never ending cycle of men who never commit or are unavailable there is a reason. There is usually an old heartbreak,a critical parent or X love, or a sense of unworthiness because of past experiences such as;multi... (read in full...)
My ex looks like his working through the problems that broke us up, but I feel insecure and unsure about him...
Q. I've been with a man who cheated (massage parlor), smokes a lot of pot, and who gets verbally abusive (sometimes physically aggressive). It's been a year since I moved out and broke it off with him. Now he's showing signs of change, and growth. He ...
A. 6 June 2005: Yes,people can change if THEY want too. What's positive about your situation is that you have a lot of self worth.Good on you for leaving when you did back then.as it showed him that you have boundries & that he was steping over them.He may have ... (read in full...)
My wife can't see that I'm a better partner than her (male) friend!
Q. My wife and I have been together for about 8 yrs now. 5 yrs before marrige and 3 after. We have a son 1.5 yrs old. Before marriage my wife was attracted to her best friend who was also in love with her. She admitted that to me and we worked through ...
A. 6 June 2005: All women want a man they can feel secure with, someone who will take charge when nessacary.You may love your wife with all your heart, but to truly win her over you must allow her to own what she is feeling & you need to set boundries with her.I ... (read in full...)
He broke it off while he sorts out his alcohol problem, but I want us to try again!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months - we rushed things and moved in together after a month. He is a recovered alcoholic and has recently had a relapse - he has decided to break up with me while he sorts his head out (counselling ...
A. 6 June 2005: You have a big mission on your hands if you want to stay with your boyfriend.You say he is a recovered alcoholic who had a relapse.Im sorry, but he is a recovering alcoholic & will always be one while he's NOT drinking.While he is drinking, even if ... (read in full...)
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