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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a few months - we rushed things and moved in together after a month. He is a recovered alcoholic and has recently had a relapse - he has decided to break up with me while he sorts his head out (counselling etc). He tells me he loves me and I am crazy about him too, but he also said he's not sure if he wants to get back together at all, as he is struggling to handle the relationship. I love him and want to give it one last chance - how can I convince him things will be different this time as I know he loves me too?
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reader, psychic1 +, writes (6 June 2005):
You have a big mission on your hands if you want to stay with your boyfriend.You say he is a recovered alcoholic who had a relapse.Im sorry, but he is a recovering alcoholic & will always be one while he's NOT drinking.While he is drinking, even if it is a slip now & again, he IS an alcoholic.He has an even bigger mission than you as he is the one suffering from this terrible disease.I suggest you get every book you can on the subject from your local libaray & if you really love this guy, educate yourself so you can at least support yourself as he cannot.Alon is a great organization to get involved with, for just you.The experts say that an alcoholic cannot maintain an intimate relationship for up to 2 years after giving up drinking,as they need to heal themselves first.Give this guy a chance to heal himself & catch up with him in 12 months or so to see how he is going.If he is still drinking,leave & get on with your life.As if you stay with him you will only be having a relationship with a bottle & not who he really is.Gook luck with your choices.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (6 June 2005):
 He does love you enough to not lead you on. Alcoholism is a destructive disease. He sees that you are a wonderful person and does not to drag you through his problems. Let him be. He's trying to fix a major problem in his life and he's wants out. He doesn't want to hurt you if he cannot get past the counseling help. He already let himself down. He doesn't want to let anyone else down. Be a good friend and let him help himself. It's the least you can do. He was very honest with you.
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