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anonymous
writes: I have gotten myself in a bit of a love triangle and I am suffering completely for it. Please help. My boyfriend of 2 years and I had been experiencing many bad times. He always ignored me, was around then wasn't around, and we fought a lot to say the least. So about 3 months ago we broke it off. Then I unexpectedly found myself having relations with a great friend of mine. Of course things happened and now me and him are dating and everything was fine until a few weeks ago when my boyfriend came back into the picture. He is pledging he will change and he knows how wrong he was in the past but now that he is off drugs he will treat me wonderful and he will never be mean again. So I have been seeing both of them because I am scared to leave either one of them but I can't stand the lies and the sneaking around and I definitly don't want to hurt anyone. What should I do? Should I come clean or should I just pick one and continue on with the relationship? And which one do I pick? HELP Love triangle
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2006):
You need to show some integrity and stay with new partner (if you trust him). He should not be punished for SOMEONE else's fault. Also remember that he is ur EX and you broke up for a reason.
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reader, lil mama101 +, writes (12 June 2005):
You need to stay with the person you're with now because once an drug addict they're always an drug addict
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reader, communicatrix +, writes (11 June 2005):
 Okay, lemme get this straight: you had the incredible good sense to get involved with a junkie--whom you thought was so awesome you stayed with him for two years--and then when you were finally rid of him, you jumped into a brand new relationship because you figured, Boy, with my INCREDIBLY GOOD JUDGMENT I'm sure I've picked a TOTAL WINNER!Sorry. I'll back off a bit.You seem to me maybe a bit young, a bit overly optimistic and (dare I say it?) a bit confused. But hey--what do I know? I'm a divorced dinosaur of almost-44 years dispensing advice over the internet. Like I've got it going on, right?The thing is, in this arena, I do. I've been in your shoes, minus the drug habit bit. I've jumped from one huge relationship into another and let me tell you from this side of heartbreak, it just doesn't work. Maybe in the short term it does, but long-term? You're setting yourself up for disaster.So here's what I'd do. First, come clean. You know you want to; it's so complicated living a double life. Explain to the ex that you're sorry, that your feelings for him led you to do something that was unfair to both of you (the getting back together, not the seeing two guys thing). Explain to the new love that you jumped too soon. That he really is All That but you are clearly not straight in your head and heart and you owe it to both of you to figure out what's what.Then break up...with BOTH of them. Be by yourself for awhile, with NO boyfriend. A good, long while. A year, minimum. Yes, I know it sounds harsh. And no, it does not mean you can't have a whoop-dee-doo good time in that year if you feel like it--party, laugh, go out dancing. You can even have sex, if you promise not to get all gooey and fall in love. Because the only person you're gonna be falling in love with for those 12 months is yourself, sista-girl.At the end of the year, maybe ex will still be clean. Maybe new guy will still be into you. Maybe you will find an entirely new and refreshing prospect whom you've not even met yet.But you will know yourself, and having that owner's manual read and committed to memory not only will make your next steps clear--it will spare you the agony of future "triangles" that scramble your brains and take up valuable emotional real estate in the process.
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reader, psychic1 +, writes (10 June 2005):
Why is it that we as women seem to have SO much trouble in making a decision then sticking with it? Look very deeply into why you broke off with your X.What's really changed?3 weeks is not long enough to know if he is off the drugs yet.It usually takes two years! This other poor guy has got himself in a bit of a mess without even knowing hasen't he.Please look at your own integrity.You don't need an anwser to this as you have already made up your mind. YOU'RE ALREADY SLEEPING WITH YOUR X AGAIN. If you have feelings for this other guy, respect him & break it off for now, until you have sorted out what you are really doing with your X.Love on the rebound is a very selfish way of doing things. You may want to look at why you're so scared to be on your own.
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reader, aunt april  +, writes (10 June 2005):
if you're going to go back to your ex ,this is a very big risk as he might not be off the drugs and you might end up getting hurt. It's a big sacrifice to make. If you leave the man you're with now for nothing you really have to think you love the most and what kind of relationship you had with your ex and is it worth ruining the one you have now.
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