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anonymous
writes: I've been in love with my best friend's brother for three years. Recently he's told me he wants to sleep with me. I went round and spent the night, we didn't get all the way but very nearly. Now he hasn't spoken to me in a month, not on the phone or internet or anything. I can't ring him in case my friend answers the phone and he has no idea how I feel so I don't want him thinking I'm getting all clinging and obsessed with him. The thing is, I AM obsessed with him. I literally cannot stop thinking about him and I'm worried he's just bored of me now because he hasn't spoken to me in a month. It's tearing me apart and I really miss him. What should I do?
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reader, Wendyg  +, writes (9 June 2005):
 It seems that maybe he feels guilty, he's practically slept with his best mate's sister and now feels awkward about it. The only thing you can do is to contact him and ask how things are. Yhe thing that I would be concerned about though is that he asked you to sleep with him and you did, because of you feelings, not becuase it was the next stage you two were at in a relationship. Perhaps he's quite happy to sleep with girls as a one off and realised that he shouldn't really do that with his best mate's sister. It is difficult when you feel this way about him, it is going to make you want to be with him, no matter what, but you maybe need to distance yourself from him. Why is that you are so obssesed with him, is it becuase he is your brother's friend ? can you really see a future between the two of you ? there must at least be some closeness between you for to have fell in love with him over these three years... you can either call him up and act as though nothing as happend and see where things go.. or move on. Just sitting in limbo isnt going to help you, as it will prevent you from finding someone new if this guy isnt the one for you. He probably has no idea the way you feel about him, so he feels he hasnt done anything wrong. you do need to talk to him though, maybe ask him if you can hang out and see where things lead. The only harm would be that he isnt interested and that may be upsetting for you, but at least then you can begin to move on.Hope this helpsTake care
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reader, psychic1 +, writes (9 June 2005):
I feel this guy has often noticed you over the years, but in a different way than you have felt for him.He has been attracted to you,but out of respect for his friend has held back.Your obvious desire for him finally got a bit out of control & he went for it.But the big difference is, you are falling in love with him & he is attracted to you.I feel he has pulled away so you don't get to attached to him.This is a guy who has lusted after you but does not want to pursue a relationship with you.Enjoy the fleeting moment you had together, but hold your head up high, he's not worth pinning over.One day he will look at you on the arm of another guy,& then he might finally show you how he feels.But if not let him think that you're the one who got away!
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reader, D_Missy +, writes (8 June 2005):
He is your brother's best friend and that is hardly ever a 'good' situation. He probably feels torn between you two and realizes how awkward it would be. Did your brother ever know about it? Did he accept it for what it was? You have to remember that friends come first. That's often a hard concept for me to grasp, as well. You should talk to your brother about it. I'm fairly certain your 'friend' is just worried about his relationship with his friend.
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