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He's made comments I haven't responded to yet. But what do his emails mean?

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Question - (6 June 2005) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 June 2005)
A , *araCroft writes:

Hi, there's a lot of chemistry between myself and a guy I used to work with. He once said to me- 'I feel like I connect with you.' Year later, he emailed me (in response to one of my emails) and wrote ' I think about you on many levels'. Six months on, I'm still writing to him but never responded to what he wrote.

What does he mean?

I think I'm in love with him but we're 'friends' and am not sure where to go.

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A reader, Shane +, writes (7 June 2005):

Is it just me or is this kinda obvious?

'I think about you on many levels?' Well there's not much that could mean.

I would take it to mean that he thinks of you as a friend, and probably as a potential partner. Why else would he say 'many'?

If he just wanted to be your good friend would there be any need for that comment? I obviously don't know him, but I'm guessing, like me, he's shy. This could be a very subtle exporation of the possibilities of the two of you being in a relationship. Look at it in this hypothetical context:

He likes you. He's not sure if you like him. What does he do?

He makes an ambiguous statment (I think about you on many different levels) to see how you react. Ideally, you would say something like 'I feel the same.' This would open the way for him to push a little further. (also, he did it by e-mail rather than face to face- classic introverted behaviour.)

The beauty of this type of question is that, if you responded negatively (What do you mean 'many levels?' You don't think I like you do you?) he can very quickly backtrack by saying something like "Oh god no! I just ment you're a great friend and funny and a good muse etc."

By not writing back, you probably disappointed him, and he saw the outcome as negative. But all is not lost! If you like him, and it's been that length of time, and of course he's not involved with anyone else, e-mail him back. And use a phrase as ambiguous as he did. Let him know that you like him, but subtly. Don't confront him or scare him. He might be slow, but let him come to you if he still wants. He's just shy, most likely, and shy people are every bit as deserving of affection as anyone else. And as for 'true love', I believe that grows rather than just pops into existance.

Best of luck and I hope this helps

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2005):

Wendyg agony auntI think he was just looking for a friend and someone to have a laugh with over email. Nothing suggests that he wants to get serious. Either that or he is shy! As you say you haven't responded to his comments then he may think that you are not interested. The only way you will know for sure is to casually ask if he wants to hook up. Just keep mailing him if thats all he wants, but he may be scared to make a move. What have you got to lose ? he has said that he connects with you, even if you hook up it doesnt mean it has to be a relationship, friends do meet up, but at least you would then see if it is just friendship.

Take care

x x

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A reader, psychic1 +, writes (7 June 2005):

True love directs itself & leaves you with no question of his feelings about you. If this guy hasn't made a positive move yet, he is just flirting. Have some fun by all means, but find someone more worthy of your sweet affections. As one door closes another opens. Start looking outside a new door.

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A reader, Your big sis +, writes (6 June 2005):

Your big sis agony auntStop bothering that man! His comments have no relationship vibes. You mistook his mere friendship for something more. Stop it or you will soon lose if friendship also.

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