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female
,
anonymous
writes: Firt of all, i love all of your guys advice but PLEASE do not tell me to get help. All i need to know is something. I don't want professional help. I know how i feel and i know with just talking about it online or in person to someone helps. When i was a kid. I know under 10, my mom babysat these 2 kids and there was a baby or a little older but under 5 if not a baby ( i can't remember clearly) and i think he was sleeping. Well, i got on top and don't know if i humped. Then when i was still young. I don't know how young maybe 8-11, I put my breasts in my cousins face when she was sleeping and she was really young too. but thats all i did and with the kid i got on top of, i am like 98% sure i had clothes on but see, it makes me feel like a bad person because i would never do this now well obviously but knowing i did it now makes me feel HORRIBLE! i obsess over it and people even tell me it's normal when you're young but you hear all these people talk about rape and i can't tell myself enough it wasn't rape. Then my mom said if i go to a councellor, they will have to tell the parents of the kid even though i was a kid myself. and i was like thanks alot, now it will make it seem like i am a bad person when i was a kid! I wish there was other people who did this exact thing and tell me how they deal with it and know they arn't a bad person. I feel like i shouldn't be living!! or be able to be happy. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP!
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reader, psychic1 +, writes (26 September 2006):
You sound like a very caring, responsible person to me. Maybe there is something going on for you still now within your sexuality that you are trying to explore, & this is bringing up your past memory. Children have very natural sexual urges & have NO idea at all why they are doing,as thier adult brains have not matured enough. It is completly inncocent what you did, and from the sounds of it nobody got hurt. It would really benifit you to forgive yourself, & ONLY YOU can do this, no one else has the right to, only YOU OK.I know people who have tried to have a sexual experiences when they were children, with a sibling/cousin/favourite pet/pillow/parent just about anything goes.Do you feel you have control of your sexual urges now, if not never be afraid to ask for help like you are doing here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2006): I think you're putting to much thought into this. It is normal for kids to do "weird" things when they are young. I remember a friend of mine and I would have the weirdest phone conversations about sex and boys and pretend we'd be with boys at the time of our conversations and we were only about 10. We didn't know what we were talking about and when I look back it does seem a little wierd. But I figure I was just a little girl and I didn't know what I was doing so I can't blame myself now. Also one time my friends and I were playing hospital and one of my friends actually got naked because she was supposed to be giving birth to her 'daughter', which was her doll. We all saw her! And I'm pretty sure she looks back on that and is embarrassed but she didn't know better. I think you need to realize that you weren't intentionally doing these things which are obviously wrong to you now, so you can't blame yourself and hate yourself. Also, remember that everyone does things in life that they regret, especially things we did when we were younger, but that's part of life. Ofcourse you deserve to live. Move on from these things and focus on the now. Don't get councelling if you don't want to. You really don't need it. What you need to do is make peace with yourself. Hope this helped. =)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2006): I think that like you said at the time that you did this you were a child and you didn't understand that you were doing something wrong. I'm glad that you understand that it was something wrong, but you shouldn't keep on thinking that you can change the past. I recommed that you ask God for forgiveness and forget about that bad experince, because only he can help. Be strong and try to forget about there is notthing else you can do about. You can't go back in time and change things, but you can change your life for the better now. The person that you are now is more important than the person that you were then! Be a new you and don't let your past bring you down. Trust and God and everything in your life so that you can have peace and love and anything else that you need. Only Jesus can help you be a new you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2006): Why are you beating yourself up. Especially over something that happened when you were underage, the law doesn't affect you, why are you beating yourself up. Face the fact, it happened, try to figure out why, and go on with your life.
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