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... Send *uliefofulie a private message | | | *uliefofulie's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I'm a human being right now, and I'm determined to experience everything this life has to offer, and I feel morally obligated to gently nudge others along when they ask for assistance. I've lived through a lot. And if I can use whatever practical knowledge I've gleaned along the way... that's awesome.
I know enough to know that I really don't know squat. I came here with a question to which I already knew the answer, but didn't want to believe. (Dontcha think we all already know the answers within us, no matter our age or level of experience -- it's just a matter of having the courage to face the truth?) I stayed because (a) I like seeing my words in print; and (b) my real life friends are tired of me telling them what to do.
I'm first and foremost and always a Texan. Parts of it suck (historically, geographically, climately, politically); but it's my home, and I'll defend it with the burning passion of a thousand red hot suns. People from here seem to have a "pull yourself up by the bootstraps even though horrible things have happened" mentality, and I admire that. My people (branching out on all sides) are predominately from Northern Ireland; I draw upon that greatly in my daily life, though it's just a whisper in my ear.
I'm just trying to figure this shit out, like everyone else. That's what makes me tick. I'm new-agey and love the woo-woo stuff, but I find comfort in science and numbers and the explainable. When I'm at my lowest, I remind myself of the probability that there are literally thousands of people going through exactly the same thing I am at that precise moment. That makes me feel connected, makes me feel the Oneness. There's comfort in math.
My relationship status? Um, all of them. It's an evolutionary process. If you write it, I've probably done it, and will have a lot to say about it. Hopefully gently and compassionately. Feel free to call me on my shit or tell me if I've overstepped my bounds.
I'm really glad to find this forum. We get to carry each other. It's a privilege.
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I don't love him as he seems to love me, but should I stay for my kid's sake??
Q. Should I stay with Mr. Wonderful or should I go? Summary: I have loved this great guy mildly for years. He moved from another state to be with me six years ago and we have been through much together. We are not married because we are both skittis...
A. 2 October 2010: Dear SmartFunnyChick, Love your name! My short answer: cool your jets and commit to yourself that you'll stay with him until the kids leave. You are a mom, and that's a thankless job. Your kids are at least a decade away from appreciating wh... (read in full...)
What to do with my life?
Q. Ok, so its not really a question about relationships or anything but here's the deal. I've been really depressed lately thinking about my future. I'm 17 years old, have a good paying job that I work 9 hours every day at, I'm graduated from high ...
A. 2 October 2010: Hi, studmuffin. Timely question, as I was just talking to someone about this today. Why do we feel we have to DO something with our lives? Why can't we just BE in our lives? I'm going to assume that you are familiar with Star Wars. If not, y... (read in full...)
Trust? I'm not sure what to think about this situation but I don't want to go down that road again!
Q. Major Trust Issue. Ok. So here is the issues. Yesterday my bf who i've been seeing for the last 4 months was arranging drinks with a girl that he has told me in the past that he is good friends with. The issue is that he messaged yesterday to...
A. 1 October 2010: The whole thing sounds pretty shady to me. How did you"find out" he was meeting this girl, and how did you "find" a conversation between them? Were you looking through his phone or emails? Regardless, he lied about meeting friends. He gives ... (read in full...)
I'm embarassed by my wife's flirting!
Q. My wife and I separated for sexual reasons but recently got back together. I am satisfied and am happy about it because I love her. She loves me, too, even if sometimes she thinks she doesn't (calls me a "stick-in-the-mud." My wife is very ...
A. 1 October 2010: I think you're dealing with it the only way you know how, and trying to avoid drama. No right or wrong there. But obviously ineffective in stopping the behavior, because it sounds like she WANTS drama.
She does it because she can. I'm going to... (read in full...)
Do you always have a thing for the guy that took your virginity?
Q. Wanted to ask a question toward the women, because i think it happens to them more than guys. Do you always have a thing for the guy that took your virginity?...
A. 1 October 2010: A "thing" for him, no. Didn't even fancy him all that much back then, to be honest. But we were together for three years, and are still friends to this day. A soft spot in my heart as someone who I went through the trenches of the teenage years ... (read in full...)
How does one go about asking out a teacher?
Q. First of all, I'm not a self obssessed idiot, and i know when people are flirting. I want to be with someone who is intelligent, funny and pretty, there is only person who is like that that i want to be with like that. I think she likes me too, she...
A. 1 October 2010: Dylan, it's problematic because it's a felony. She's a grown woman with some serious issues, and she is taking advantage of your youth and inexperience.
Crushes are awesome, a necessary component of development, and the reason why God invented... (read in full...)
He's leaving the wife!
Q. My man is in a loveless marriage, and he's leaving his wife very soon. We've talked at length about this and he just doesn't want to be there anymore. He's not moving in with me, but finding his own place. I know when the shit hits the fan it...
A. 1 October 2010: sinkorswim, the aftermath is this: After his divorce, he will need some time to stand on his on and process the loss of his marriage. Yes, it was an unhappy one, but it's still a loss. Then the two of you will try to start a real, honest ... (read in full...)
Does it automatically make someone selfish if they don't want kids?
Q. My parents are devastated that I had a vasectomy years ago and that I don't want to have kids. But my question is...why do people accuse me of being selfish because of this? How is it selfish if someone doesn't want kids? My mum said this genera...
A. 1 October 2010: bruce lee, there are too many people in this world who have children when they don't really want them. So, I commend you on knowing who you are, and what you want, and not submitting to the pressure. You are not in this world to be a sperm donor. ... (read in full...)
Is he gay and just not comfortable with coming out?
Q. My bf of 2 years and I were friends in primary school, and we reconnected via a social network site. I hesitate to use the term "soulmate" but that's certainly what it feels like for both of us; and we feel very lucky to have found each other again ...
A. 1 October 2010: Thank you, ladies! I'm just unsure as to whether his elaborate fantasies aren't hinting at something more. Given his family's attitudes towards homosexuality (which he does not share, btw), I can see why he would grow up hiding his true nature. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she needs to take a break...
Q. So, i've been with my girlfriend for a little over 9 months. We hang out a couple days a week and really enjoy spending time with each other. However, a few days ago she invites me over to her house and tells me that she wants to take a break. She ...
A. 1 October 2010: spoonman, it sounds to me like she was trying to break up with you in a very honest and gentle way. Unfortunately, by using the words "right now" she's leaving things open-ended for you, which isn't fair. When you break up with someone in a ... (read in full...)
He's married, but I like him!
Q. Hi! I've been working in my current job for a few years now, and everything was really nice until a new colleague joined us in the office. He's hot, I mean really hot, and nice and kind and gentle and funny and all the other good things about a ...
A. 30 September 2010: I have never heard anyone say, after an affair is over and they're surveying the collateral damage they've caused -- even if it's only their self-worth that's shaken -- "Golly, I'm SO GLAD I did that. That was a great idea."... (read in full...)
What do women really, actually want?
Q. Why do women so often say they want things that aren't the man himself, e.g. clothes, tatoos, car, house, money, job, hairstyle? If you ask a man what he really wants, he wants a good looking, healthy woman who doesn't actually need makeup, or ...
A. 30 September 2010: I'm generalising here... in my experience, a woman who picks a Bad Boy has unresolved Daddy issues. It has very little to do with the BB himself or what he brings (or most likely doesn't bring) to the table, and all to do with her baggage. A he... (read in full...)
How do I get older women to notice me?
Q. what is the best way for older females to notice me? im 19 i like females from 25 and up to 45. people help me out. im not ugly or anythin i look good . i mean alot of women my age want to go out with me. but ilike older women. any advice well be ...
A. 30 September 2010: The previous posters have excellent tips -- especially about using the term "female." Big turn-off! Yes, be mysterious; but not aloof. Maintain eye contact; but don't eye rape. Smile. Tell her she's looks stunning. Be sincere; don't be ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to men, but don't want to be!
Q. I really hope i dont offend any one so I appologies if I do. I am 38 years old and always had some sexual attraction to men. Its always been just sexual never wanted to date anyone that is. I dont want to be gay and in my family life it would not be ...
A. 30 September 2010: Funny. I just posted a similar query, but in the role of the girlfriend... You are not alone. There are many men who share your feelings who consider themselves straight, even when they're finding ways to meet up with other men. I don't th... (read in full...)
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