A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi!I've been working in my current job for a few years now, and everything was really nice until a new colleague joined us in the office. He's hot, I mean really hot, and nice and kind and gentle and funny and all the other good things about a guy! And I just can't stop thinking about him, I'm single, he's not, he's married, recently infact and his new wife has just found out she is pregnant. But I have a sneaky feeling he likes me, he flirts with me, so why shouldn't he feel the same way about me as I do about him? I really do think I am in love with him and hope he is with me. I have met his wife and she is lovely, but I just can't help imagining him and I together instead of her and him. Should I try and take this relationship further or what? Advice greatly appreciated!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): I say go for it... we just had this happen in our office. Both of them got divorced, one has two kids that are now seriously screwed up as is the ex-wife. The two cheaters violated numerous corporate policies, and HR had to step in an go through a stringent legal procedures (one worked under the other one). Both of their careers (at our firm) are effectively frozen, neither will ever be promoted, their co-works do not trust them, and no one wants to be teamed with the woman. Most of the staff is disgusted with the guy. Frankly, in this economy they are both luck that they were not fired, and their tale will travel with them, as virtually everyone is talking about it.
So, GO FOR IT! Give everyone at the office something to talk about.
A
female
reader, juliefofulie  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 I have never heard anyone say, after an affair is over and they're surveying the collateral damage they've caused -- even if it's only their self-worth that's shaken -- "Golly, I'm SO GLAD I did that. That was a great idea."
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (30 September 2010):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-to-do-when-the-person-youre-attracted.html
He's unavailable, end of story. Find someone else that's single.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): What do you want or expect here? Permission from Dear Cupid to go ahead and pursue this as if it's OK?
'Yes, absolutely, go for it. He has a wife and she's pregnant but that's no big deal, it's all yours, have fun'?
Don't go there. Also, him flirting doesn't mean for an instant that he's thinking about you in that way.
Advice? take a cold shower and keep an eye out for someone SINGLE.
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A
male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (30 September 2010):
 DON'T!
1. He is married! Do you really want to be responsible for tearing a family apart?
2. If you were married, pregnant etc. would you want some other chick sniffing around your man? Thinking thoughts that she'd look better with him than you?
3. If he were to cheat with you, he will certainly cheat ON you.
4. It's wrong!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 September 2010):
MARRIED! TO A NICE WOMAN! WHO IS PREGNANT!
Don't be silly. Leave him alone. God help you of you don't, because that will be your reputation left in the sewer. You're reading way too much into his signals. Just because flirts a little with you doesn't mean he's suddenly head over heels in love. He's newly married, and his wife is pregnant. And since he's a nice guy, you will look just terrible in his eyes for trying anything. Find a single guy, not one who is married to a nice woman who is pregnant with his baby. Try anything, and you can say goodbye to your jobs, your reputation and a good many friend. You don't touch a married man, especially one who has a baby on the way. He's not interested at all.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): Yeah, that's the ticket, flirtatious nice guy, hot, married, wife pregnant, unborn child on the way.
Maybe this will help...
Imagine yourself being pregnant, and happy, and newly married, and your husband screwing someone else while you are dealing with a very real life inside your belly.
Try to get really into that fantasy.
Then, think about what you are thinking about.
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