A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Major Trust Issue.Ok. So here is the issues. Yesterday my bf who i've been seeing for the last 4 months was arranging drinks with a girl that he has told me in the past that he is good friends with.The issue is that he messaged yesterday to say that he was having a few beers with mates after work which is no problem at all. However, I later found out that he was talking with this girl and found a conversation of them arranging to have drinks together.I confronted him about it and he claimed that he wasn't going to go and that he had no intention of going. However he gave her his number for her to message him. When I asked him about it he said it was a silly thing for him to do and that he had no intention of meeting up.He is very loving and I do know that I am his one and only and I would not have minded him having drinks with her but its more that I just dont know if he is telling me the truth. And when I question things he just replys with "I dont know" and shuts down.My issue is that I have been down this road before with my ex-husband. Except this guy is a really great guy but I feel that my level of trust for him has diminished and without that there's really not much of a relationship. I'm stuck cause I really do love him more then I've ever loved someone and I dont want to let go of a good relationship if he is really being honest. But then I dont want to go further into a cloud of lies if that is what they are???Does anyone have any insight or suggestions for me???
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female
reader, juliefofulie  +, writes (1 October 2010):
 The whole thing sounds pretty shady to me. How did you"find out" he was meeting this girl, and how did you "find" a conversation between them? Were you looking through his phone or emails? Regardless, he lied about meeting friends. He gives vague or confusing answers. He says "I don't know" and shuts down, which is a classic avoidance maneuver.
You might have some trust issues because of your ex, but maybe your experience has honed your bullshit detector.
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