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*ambelina

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Are we over before we even had a chance to start?

Q.   Hi all! Please help!!!! I am in dire straights.. I came back to a company I used to work for just over a year ago and ran into a guy I had had a very intense fling with 5 years ago. Long story short, I left the company and moved away from the ...

A.   24 June 2013: Thank you so much for your response. It means the world to get an outsider's perspective.. The intensity of the fling was that we both just connected with eachother more than anyone else we had ever met before and it very quickly moved into alm... (read in full...)

The attraction seemed mutual, but suddenly he's ignoring me!

Q.   I'm 17 and he's 15. He's a freshman and I'm a junior. We've always liked each other and in these past few weeks we've come closer to each other. He's the perfect guy. Then, one day it all stopped. He stopped sitting next to me and saying hi to me in ...

A.   12 October 2005: It was a smart move not getting too attached initially and trying to take things slowly. Clearly, if this guy isn't mature enough to tell you what the problem is (causing his silent treatment towards you) then he is showing that he's certainly not ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend makes me feel guilty for leaving to visit family!

Q.   Dear Cupid, My girlfriend and I have been having issues for a while now. We have been dating for nearly 2.5 years. Recently, I visited my family across the coutry and was away for a few weeks. I spoke to her every day during the trip to say hi a...

A.   11 October 2005: This woman is very emotionally dependent on you! That is a clear warning sign that you are in dangerous territory because she is placing her happiness in 'your' hands and relying on you to "exist" in a normal way. She shouldn't make you feel guilty ... (read in full...)

Falling for a work colleague and it's so hard not to say anything!

Q.   I've fallen for a colleague who's in a relationship. We've known each other for about a year now and we get along so well. Lately it's becoming unbearable for me to see him every day and not tell him how I really feel. I've decided not to tell him...

A.   11 October 2005: I know it must be so frustrating for you, but i really think you wouldn't get anywhere by saying anything whilst he's in a relationship. There are subtle hints you can drop to show that you like him with mild flirtation and so on which will put the ... (read in full...)

Can't believe my ex could say he loved me in September, but be going out with someone else now!

Q.   I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months in July. It's my first serious relationship and we really loved each other, but another guy was making it impossible for us and we kept fighting. Now that other guy has moved on and we told each other in...

A.   11 October 2005: Sounds like you've had a bit of an emotional time of it, sorry to hear that. The sad fact is that hormonal/romantic infatuation is all-too-often mistaken for being in love! If he really loved you then he wouldn't have forgotten about those feelings ... (read in full...)

Want my ex back, but I don't want a non-committal relationship with him!

Q.   Hi there, My ex and I broke up due to circumstantial pressures (I had to move in with him due to other problems when we weren't at all ready and we just both clammed up in panic, then I found a place and moved out - the break up was decided by him t...

A.   11 October 2005: In my opinion, there's a certain mathematics to your situation.... The reason your relationship failed before was because it was going too fast. My suggestion would be that to recapture anything you used to have, you need to move SLOWER than slow ... (read in full...)

Our families would be against our marrying, but I still want us to be together...

Q.   I was dating my ex boyfriend for almost 4 years, we broke up because we realised we couldn't get married due to the fact that we are of different religions and our families wouldn't be supporting. However, I want to get back with him even if it m...

A.   11 October 2005: It's a very difficult situation, but i feel that if you both love eachother and you see a real, 'solid' future together that you should go for it and show your families that it wasn't with the intention of hurting them, you just had to follow your ... (read in full...)

Engaged to my partner, but I can't stop thinking of another guy...

Q.   I've been with my partner for 18months and we are due to marry next year. I love him loads and want to be with him, but I have recently bumped into an old friend who told me that he'd always had feelings for me. Now I can't stop thinking about him ...

A.   11 October 2005: I really believe that intrinsically people really "want" to "want"! It makes us feel more alive in trying to achieve something just out of our reach, it's exciting, and more often than not, our feet can sometimes go to sleep when life is a little ... (read in full...)

Could this be a long-term relationship?

Q.   Here Goes... I'm a gay man who has met another great guy about a month ago. I find him intelligent, attractive, attentive, and much more. We decided we wouldn't have sex until about the 8th date. We did. This was about two weeks ago. He conti...

A.   11 October 2005: Sounds like things are going really well! I think you should take each day as it comes and be grateful for it. So far, things are looking really positive for you so just try and relax and let things take their course! Good luck!... (read in full...)

I have such high expectations of my relationships that I can't have any fun!

Q.   Can someone advise me on how to keep relationships at a less serious level and enjoy them, rather them get stuck in to them so much that it is hard to have your own space? I have this problem of taking relationships too much seriously to be able ...

A.   11 October 2005: It's not a bad thing that you take relationships seriously because it shows you acknowledge and respect the value of them in your life. However, it is when this becomes self destructive and a burden to you that it becomes an issue. Perhaps you might ... (read in full...)

He's thinking over going out with me, but was I too forward asking him out?

Q.   hiya! I have this crush and I just asked him out. He is thinking about it at the moment but do you think I have done the right thing to ask him out cos he is a year older than me? I am 13 and he is 14, is that wrong of me? Should I be going out w...

A.   5 July 2005: Guys at your age (and more often than not- at any age!) seem to want what they can't have... They love the 'chase', so having you ask this guy out will have done wonders for his ego if nothing else!! The fact that he has to "think over" whether he ... (read in full...)

Is it the distance between us that's causing the rift, or is it something else?

Q.   I have a long distance relationship that has been going on for 3 years and 2 months to date but lately it has been going up and down between us. We hardly see each other due to the fact that we are so far apart but take full advantage when ...

A.   29 June 2005: If all you have had with eachother is a "long distance" relationship since you began your relationship then neither of you are going to know what it would be like to be around each other constantly over a long period of time to know whether marriage ... (read in full...)

When we went to the club, everything went great! Now I text her and get no reply...

Q.   I’ve come out a long-term relationship about two months ago, since then ive had a fantastic social life. My female friend that ive known for ages (who i dont hang around with) said if I ever wanted to go for a drink with her and a few mates we ...

A.   29 June 2005: The only way that you are going to be able to get to the bottom of this is to talk about it with her. It looks as though, up to this point- all you've had to go on are her actions (ie: text messages, dancefloor antics, etc). There's no way for you ... (read in full...)

Will my boyfriend drop me for my gorgeous best friend?

Q.   I'm 15 and have been going out with my bf for about 2 months. I love him loads but I'm worried he'll start to fancy my best friend instead of me. My best friend is amazing and drop dead gorgeous as well but until now I haven't been worried because ...

A.   27 June 2005: No, you're not being stupid because I have the same problem.... Often being outshone by my best friend (or feeling that way, anyway). But at the end of the day, if you believe in yourself that you are just as beautiful and worthwhile as she is, then ... (read in full...)

After our breakup, he wants to stay "friends with benefits", but it hurts to see him with other girls...

Q.   Me and my b/f of one year just broke up about a month ago. He broke up with me saying so many excuses that I dont even know what's true. Anywho, he still wants to be friends with benefits and hang out as "friends" but he rubs it in my face about all ...

A.   27 June 2005: Ok, this is clearly a case of "forget he exists- for the love of God!!"!!! I know it's hard when you love someone to let them go, but there are so many guys out there in the world for you to love, who will give you the respect you actually deserve. ... (read in full...)

Is the spark gone from our relationship? All I do is chase him and he doesn't seem to care...

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and I love him deeply. The problem is that I do way too much for him and he knows that well and thanks me a lot for that and swears that I'm the most important thing in his life. Unfort...

A.   27 June 2005: Dear Lost, all I can really say to this question is that you are way to good to be chasing around someone who doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about him. You deserve to be valued in a relationship, and not just a way of passing the t... (read in full...)

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