A  ,
*ambelina
writes:Hi all!Please help!!!! I am in dire straights..I came back to a company I used to work for just over a year ago and ran into a guy I had had a very intense fling with 5 years ago. Long story short, I left the company and moved away from the area - I was too young at the time to settle and really commit to the guy. Anyway. When we saw eachother again - lightening stuck. We couldn't keep away from eachother and I was over the moon. We talked all day and all night. The only problem being that we are both married. I realised in a few short months that I had to be with him and i moved out from my husband's house, much to the dismay of my family (whom I had kept in the dark about the real reason I left).The man left his wife 8 weeks after I had moved out. He told her the truth about the affair and moved into a flat by himself. In the first week it was very exhilarating but then on the weekend it came to light that he had tried to commit suicide. The reality of having moved out hit him really hard and he had called on his wife to step in because he wasn't ready to show me himself in such a vulnerable state but that he had no intention of going back to her. Now he has realised that he is suffering with depression and will be going to a GP this week. He said if he ever gets like that again that he will call me and i promised the same. He apologized and said he made a mistake in contacting her. This week we have agreed to have some time apart so that he can get some clarity but i am lost as to where we stand now. We have come so far to get to this point.. it can't really be over before we have properly begun, surely?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): Hi, this world wind romance is not everything to him. When he had suicide tendency, he contacted his wife. That tells you where his heart truly lies.Why would he suffer from depression when he is with the woman he loves? I think you should prepare yourself for the possibility that he may want to reconcile with his wife. Men are not wired the same way and he clearly is not sure he made the right decision and have regrets about hurting his wife.
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reader, Cambelina +, writes (24 June 2013):
Cambelina is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your response. It means the world to get an outsider's perspective..
The intensity of the fling was that we both just connected with eachother more than anyone else we had ever met before and it very quickly moved into almost unhealthy levels of obsession. It was very powerful and almost dangerous. We could never seem to stay away from eachother which is why we had to leave our spouses which, clearly has been a very difficult thing!
I am just terrified that a week after he has moved out he has fallen apart and I can't help him.. it can't all be over when we have come this far, surely? We love eachother so much. He is prone to depression so I'm worried everyone might tell him that that is what our relationship was about when we both know that what we have is very real. I'm just scared he will go back to the comfort zone of his wife because he doesn't feel strong enough for this. I would be devastated. I already am not knowing how he is doing hour by hour!! :( x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2013): It sounds like you just have to be patient with this one.
You both sound so brave moving away from your marriages, I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but you certainly must feel the same way.
What made the fling so intense, just out of interest?
It's good he's going to see a professional - the doctor - about his depression. And seeing a pro combined with a little time apart I can't think of anything else you can do. Other than speak to your friends and if anything else is not in order in your life get it sorted so that when you get things back in track with this guy you will not be distracted.
Good luck. Keep us updated :)
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