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male
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anonymous
writes: Can someone advise me on how to keep relationships at a less serious level and enjoy them, rather them get stuck in to them so much that it is hard to have your own space? I have this problem of taking relationships too much seriously to be able to actually enjoy it. The expectations I set are quite high and I can't stand someone who deviates from that standard. I have developed bitterness for quite some friends and relatives due to this attitude of mine. Even normal selfish acts of theirs makes me feel as if they are being inconsiderate and selfish to me. Please advise. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2005): OK so I'm picturing the perfect guy here! Are you 6' 2'' tall with a hunky body and a super sized penis who can last all night, and you must be loving, honest and romantic at the same time, are you able to cook amazing meals and give fantastic massages? Have you thick locks of hair and a good looking face and a cute tight butt? Do you write poetry but yet have the courage to protect a woman in the face of great danger? Can you dance and sing and play the gutar and drums? You must have a well paid job and be extremely generous! Hey common you must be perfect! What I am getting from your message is that you have a tendency to be arogant, selfish and self centered. Not to metion fickle, dull ,bitter and serious. And thats just the personality! How much fun are you to live with? Look at the man in the mirror and try a change!
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reader, Cambelina  +, writes (11 October 2005):
It's not a bad thing that you take relationships seriously because it shows you acknowledge and respect the value of them in your life. However, it is when this becomes self destructive and a burden to you that it becomes an issue. Perhaps you might consider that the reason you are so "high maintenance" (as it were) is that maybe you are afraid of being hurt and let down by people. Remember that people in life will invariably let you down, but that is just a testament to the fact that they are falliable human-beings and it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care about you.In relationships, try and remember that spending time apart is just as important as spending time together to save the relationship becoming stagnant to truly be able to appreciate eachother in the times that you have together. Also, remember that part of the beauty of a successful relationships is the joy of "not knowing" what lies around the corner, so when you feel yourself trying to control everything down to the last detail, keep in mind that you are robbing yourself of half of the joy and "fun" part of what a relationship is supposed to offer. Try and relax and be calmly accepting and grateful for all you have filling your life for what it really is.Best of luck!
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