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anonymous
writes: I have a long distance relationship that has been going on for 3 years and 2 months to date but lately it has been going up and down between us. We hardly see each other due to the fact that we are so far apart but take full advantage when opportunity knocks. Lately we've been arguing a lot and I seem to get upset for the littlest things which is upsetting her even more. She says she loves me with all her heart and I do too but if I continue to break it she will leave me. I’m not perfect yet I try to make things work but am I trying to win a losing battle here? I’ve begun talks about getting married and I want too and I know she does as well but are we making a mistake?
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reader, Dragonfly28 +, writes (30 June 2005):
Cambelina makes a great point. My boyfriend and I have also always been long distance, and I can empathize--when you're away from each other most of the time, there is a lot of pressure put on the time you have together, and it can cause those times to be both wonderful and awful. I think you need to have some time to date "normally" to really be able to see where things are going and if you have a real shot together. I'm personally waiting for my boyfriend to move to my city this fall so we can finally end the long distance part and just be a couple, and see how it works out. Hopefully this will be possible for you too. good luck.
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reader, Cambelina  +, writes (29 June 2005):
If all you have had with eachother is a "long distance" relationship since you began your relationship then neither of you are going to know what it would be like to be around each other constantly over a long period of time to know whether marriage would work.When you're in a long distance relationship, it's often much more exciting than your average relationship because there's always that time to "look forward" to and get excited about. In the times of waiting to see your partner again, you fantasize and you build them up in your head because you have the freedom to do that- they're not there!And then, there's the whirlwind excitement of the precious time that you do get to see eachother.My suggestion would be that you should try and see what would happen if you tried your relationship living in closer proximity to eachother. This is probably why you're suddenly arguing a lot more, you're feeling like the "long distance thing" isn't working for you anymore. It's not satisfying you enough anymore and it's time to make a change. 3 years is long enough to be maintaining a long distance relationship which is terribly hard to do even for small periods of time!! If you're ready to say "let's get married" then you should first be ready to say, "lets live near each other". It seems there's a missing link.Good luck! :)
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reader, becky05 +, writes (29 June 2005):
I think you should wait until your relationship is in a better state before you start talks of getting married, marriage doesnt sort out problems or make things better, it can add to them so wait a while and see how things go.
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