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My boyfriend, porn habit, no sex, being told I'm manipulative
Q. Okay..my boyfriend of about a year has always used porn as an outlet. He's upfront and honest about it, how he spends hours browsing and downloading it. He's even shared some of it with me, etc. I DO enjoy some of it. Although deep down I feel ...
A. 4 November 2008: Look, the problem isn't the porn. The problem is that he dislikes you so much that he calls you a 'castrating bitch'. This guy has issues that go way beyond the porn, and if the name-calling goes both ways you BOTH need help with the relationship ... (read in full...)
Porn in relationships? Healthy or not?
Q. I just wanna get your feedback on how you feel about Porn in relationships. tell me as much as you can please! answers from both sexs is appreciated!i feel as if him watching porn is affecting my sex drive with him and im not wanting to have as much ...
A. 4 November 2008: Look, guys like porn. You should be happy he tells you about it. If you make him stop two things will happen: 1. He won't stop, and he'll probably start lying to you about it. 2. Your sex life will suffer because he'll feel manipulated. ... (read in full...)
I know its wrong, but the idea of taking away everything but his life is giving me a high.
Q. My question may seem strange but please answer honestly I really want to stop but I can't. Hi i'm 27 and I have been having an affair with a married woman I met at work. She is a year older than me and has 1 child. We seemed to click straight...
A. 23 October 2008: Firstly, you're not taking anything away from this guy. His wife is doing that. You're just the tool this woman is using. Also, you are potentially going to be blamed for threatening the welfare of this woman's child (but again, you're just the ... (read in full...)
I love my mistress, but she doesn't want me to leave my wife for her.
Q. I am 27 years old and have been married nearly 7 years, so yes that means I got married when I was 20. After our daughter was born my wife kind of emotionally checked out of our relationship, she held unforgivness towards me for things that were ...
A. 23 October 2008: To be brutally honest, what a baby you are! "Boo-hoo - I got married too young so I got frustrated and started seeing someone else who's also a cowardly baby like me who can't take any responsibility for her life decisions. Now I'm getting ... (read in full...)
I think I need to leave my babies father. He loves drink and drugs more than us.
Q. hello this is a single mother to my 3 months old son ... the father is a bad person he uses the drugs n goes out a lot with his wrong friends n comes home to cause a lot of problems for us (me and my son) i plan to leave him he is always asking me ...
A. 23 October 2008: My advice: leave him now, leave him a letter explaining why. Go far away, don't leave a forwarding address. Make sure he won't find you.
These kinds of relationships can be dangerous and his drug abuse can only get worse. You need to get out.... (read in full...)
Could my boyfriend be a paedophile (or an ephebophile)?
Q. I'm afraid I might be dating a peadophile. My boyfriend (nealry 20) is attracted Hannah Monatna who is 15, and I am so grossed out I can't even kiss him let alone make love to him. He makes jokes about him being an ebophile to his friends online (he ...
A. 23 October 2008: Your boyfriend is an ephebophile, not a paedophile, and guess what - ephebophilia is 100% normal. Just about every heterosexual adult male is an ephebophile, because ephebophilia merely means that we are sexually attracted to young post-pubescent ... (read in full...)
I have sexual thoughts about underage girls and I disgust myself, how do I stop these feelings?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm in denial at the moment writting this, but I need help.. So here it goes. I have sexual thoughts about underage girls.. I'm 21 now, and it's been going on for probably the last 8 years. I didn't want to admit it at first...
A. 23 October 2008: Look, heterosexual men tend to be attracted to all kinds of post-pubescent women (including girls who are technically under-age). That's a fact of life - we are wired to be sexually aroused by larger hips and breasts, no matter how old the person ... (read in full...)
Does watching/playing 'Lolicon' turn you into a pedophile?
Q. I'm a 16-year-old male and have been thinking about lolicon. I played a few lolicon online games when I was 12 and found it to kind of turn me on. I by no means like the real stuff, I find the idea repulsive but it's different when it comes to this. ...
A. 23 October 2008: For everyone's info: lolicon usually refers to hentai (porn) anime that features young-looking or petite and small-breasted cartoon characters.
Personally, I am attracted to small-breasted women, and I love anime so I have seen the occasion... (read in full...)
Partner looks at freaky and/or gay porn. What gives?
Q. I've been dating a great guy since the beginning of May. We get along very well and are currently living together. I have known from the start that he likes porn. I made an assumption that since he had been single for a while he looked at it to ...
A. 23 October 2008: Firstly, your sex life isn't suffering because you don't like anal sex. It's suffering because he insists on pressuring you to do a sexual act that you don't want to do.
Personally, I watch porn a lot, and I see nothing wrong with it as long as ... (read in full...)
Do I have a trust or control issue here?
Q. I am still asking myself what went wrong after what seemed to be a perfect 5 year relationship in which we lived together. I was ready to get married, I always have felt that I am a good man. The problem... I couldn't say no, I basically waited o...
A. 23 October 2008: I would not see a 5-year relationship where you worked two jobs AND did the vast majority of the housework "a perfect relationship". This was a deeply abusive and one-sided relationship where one person did almost all the work and the other took ... (read in full...)
Still feeling the effects of husband's secret friendhip 8 months on
Q. I posted on here in Feb 08 in respect of a problem I was having with my husband - and many thanks to the aunts and uncles who provided advice it was really comforting and helpful: http:/...
A. 23 October 2008: Personally, I feel he was manipulating you - and the doctor. It's all-too-easy to get a doctor to provide anti-depressants -and it's all-too-easy to plead 'Oh I only did it because I'm depressed' when a marriage is on the line. I mean who would ... (read in full...)
He wants to court me after my graduation!
Q. I recently had my 'love of my life' once again after 2 1/2 years. But this one is strange, totally. For he's an HS teacher and I am his student. I'm only 17 and he's 24. I think he loves me more than I do, really. We do not talk whenever we're on ...
A. 23 October 2008: What you're describing may be the start of love, or it may just be a crush. Despite what the books and movies suggest, love isn't usually something that's readily apparent. It's usually something that grows from mutual attraction. Anyway, the ... (read in full...)
Do you think deep down he would like to get back together again?
Q. Last nite I got back from meeting a friend of mine and my ex, basically we had a drink and a laugh and nothing more, anyway I know for a fact that this mate I went out with likes me more then that, anyway I think he mentioned this to my ex which my ...
A. 23 October 2008: Maybe he wants to get back with you. Maybe he just doesn't want you to have any other relationships. But the real question is this: do you really want to get back together with a guy who loves you so little that he regards you as his personal ... (read in full...)
He lives so far away... will this work or should I move on?
Q. So I met this guy online, and we both really like each other, but we both live so far. I'm not sure how to make this work, so I'm just wondering if I should just move on or keep on talking to him and see what will happen?...
A. 23 October 2008: Unless you are only going to be living apart for a short time - a matter of months - it's probably not going to work out no matter how deep your feelings are for each other. The fact is, the old adage 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' is ... (read in full...)
He took my virginity but he'd already slept with 7 other girls!
Q. Dear cupids. My boyfriend lied to me for 8 months about being a virgin, but then after he took my virginity he confessed to previousy sleeping with 7 girls!! He told me he didn't want to hurt my feelings, which he did twice as much by lying! W...
A. 23 October 2008: By the length of time he dated you, and since he confessed his lie, it seems like this guy truly did want to be your boyfriend. But he also wanted to get into your pants enough to pretend to be the virgin that it seems you wanted. You have to ... (read in full...)
I think I'll let him use me for sex as I like him so much.
Q. I've known this guy now for about a year, we met at a friend's birthday party and I fancied the pants off of him! He told me he liked me too, we ended up kissing, dancing etc.. but we didn't see each other again until June, she had another party and ...
A. 23 October 2008: If you sleep with this guy (and I don't advise it), just make sure of one thing - that you know he's not to blame if he ignores you afterwards. After all, he's been brutally honest with you and he's laid out precisely what he wants. Given that ... (read in full...)
What to do with a disappearing, lying, stealing husband?
Q. My husband and I have been married for a little over 5 years now and our marriage has had some problems. when we first got married my husband drank a lot and did drugs I knew how much he drank but he tried to hide his drug use from me but I always ...
A. 23 October 2008: How far does this guy have to go before you do what needs to be done and dump this loser? The last thing you need is to start a family with a guy who walks out on you the second he has a weak moment. If he's like this when it's just the two of ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel so unhappy with my boyfriend I just want to get out!
Q. I'm really so confused is it normal. Me and my bf (22) are dating for a year and half now, but most of the time he do things that make me feel so awful, sad and just unhappy, that I just want to get out of this relationship during these difficult ...
A. 23 October 2008: It's really impossible to know whether the problem is caused by you or your boyfriend if you refuse to tell us WHY you feel 'awful, sad and unhappy'. Without specifics no one will even know what the problem is, never mind how to solve it.
As to... (read in full...)
Is this a healthy 'friendship'?
Q. when i was in the 5th gd. i had a crush on my twenty three year old coach. well, i'm naturally a flirty person so of course i flirted w/him. well, we spent a lot of time alone together because he gave me rides home everyday because we were ...
A. 23 October 2008: It's healthy as long as it's just a friendship, but stop flirting with the guy - you're a bit too old to be doing that.... (read in full...)
Scared to ask him out because we hang in different cliques at school. Any advice?
Q. my problem is that i'm very much in like with this guy who is kind of an..well, actually the only word you can probably use to describe him is, well, asshole. But i think that he is a very sweet person... deep down inside. But the thing is i'm kind ...
A. 23 October 2008: Trust me, as the others have said, if this guy acts like an asshole, he's an asshole deep down inside too. Assholes may seem to have a gentler side, but sweet guys deep down inside don't act like assholes on the surface. You have a crush on this ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wakes up at 4 AM to look at videos on youtube!
Q. My b/f is always looking at videos on youtube. Most of the time he's watching how some guy does hot guitar licks. Sometimes he researches peddle effects and other equipment. But his youtube habit is becoming more and more frequent, sometimes he ...
A. 23 October 2008: Oh dear! Your boyfriend likes looking at women. Whatever shall we do?
Look, guys like women. We like looking at women and we like being with women. That's why your b/f and you got together in the first place! Trust me, your b/f's insecuri... (read in full...)
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