What do men think when the girl makes the first move? Is his silence the response?
Q. So if you live in a different country but kept in touch with a group of friends, one of whom, is a crush, in a group setting kind of thing on Facebook. You exchanged pleasantries with this guy and have tons of things in common, like finishing each ...
A. 8 February 2015: Thank you all so much 3
Valuable advice in a nutshell.
He is single, but that doesn't matter any more. Special thanks to Eric.Troy, the spoon metaphor, gosh you're so good! I'm so glad you all took the time.
What was I thinking, indeed?!
x ... (read in full...)
I am happy for my sister but very sad for me.
Q. Before I start, I'd just like to say that I'm very happy for my sister and this isn't about her in any way. It's about me. So on December 23rd just past, I ended my long term relationship because he just wouldn't commit to me. I'm now a month...
A. 8 February 2015: Bad things, terrible things happen to the best of people. Your situation is not easy at the moment, given that you're surrounded by married couples, the engaged and the wedding prep. I don't see why you should express your sorrow, or feeling low at ... (read in full...)
Is he the Roof Police?
Q. I rented this flat, however, the landlady lives abroad so the only contact person is her cousin, who is a nice chap and all. Everything was going great until the weather conditions, rain, sleet, snow, hail you name it began... I've been having ...
A. 3 February 2015: Many thanks for the time you both too, WiseOwl and So_Very_Confused.
I am aware of him prying on me, but I really have nothing to hide; although I'm a very private person. I always leave my place immaculately clean and all my underwear and secr... (read in full...)
I saw him more as a father figure, how do I give him the message I am not interested?
Q. I am friends with a man who I learnt just today that he is 10 years my senior. I had from time to time, confined in him on some rather private matters; like dating and choosing the right chap etc. I had always thought he was at least 20 years o...
A. 17 November 2014: He hasn't asked me out in the romantic sense ... On a date as we have met ... But he always says can I have the pleasure of your company!! We meet each other through friends, never alone but the messages he wrote me lately were not exactly to my ... (read in full...)
Should I follow up with him or move on?
Q. So I visited the place where my crush who runs this place for the fourth time now, without much but casual conversation. The thing is, the fourth time I walked in the busy busy place, he did not even stop to say hello and he was on the phone an...
A. 17 June 2014: WiseOwlE,have I told you that you're so wise:) Thanks for your time and many blessings. Your words are more than a tonic needed to boost my ego and scratched pride! I'm such a proud lady and you don't know how many bagpipe marching tunes I had to ... (read in full...)
Should I follow up with him or move on?
Q. So I visited the place where my crush who runs this place for the fourth time now, without much but casual conversation. The thing is, the fourth time I walked in the busy busy place, he did not even stop to say hello and he was on the phone an...
A. 16 June 2014: I can't agree more WiseOwl, the thing is and I'll be honest here, I think what's attracted me more to the whole deal, is the business side of it. I thought that because we share similar visions and tastes, we could kick it off romantically. ... (read in full...)
Crush issues, should I pursue learning more about him or just forget all about it?
Q. So I caught this waiter's eye and he started conversing with me and my friend and welcoming us to town and giving us extreme details about this and that. He also asked me a couple of personal questions of what I do and where am I from...He kept eye ...
A. 6 June 2014: Thanks a lot folks. I agree, it'd sound weird and stalkerish if added him or anything on FB... I'll probably mention him to my friend in passing conversation and see what she knows about his status, otherwise, I'll put in another appearance and ... (read in full...)
Crush issues, should I pursue learning more about him or just forget all about it?
Q. So I caught this waiter's eye and he started conversing with me and my friend and welcoming us to town and giving us extreme details about this and that. He also asked me a couple of personal questions of what I do and where am I from...He kept eye ...
A. 5 June 2014: Thanks folks, really helpful, but I don't think I can walk there again now unless acompanied by that friend, the one we both have in common, she has him on FB. I think it's best to ask her if he's taken first , if not, then I can hand his the ... (read in full...)
How do I act toward my crush? I'll be visiting his workplace soon!
Q. How do I act around a crush, given that I choose "accidently on purpose" to be where he works and stand the possibilty of being served by him. I don't live in that town, but I used to go there often...I really want to see if he'll chat me up...
A. 4 June 2014: I went on my own this time, he was up to his ears at work and he tried to make me wait longer that my request required but then again not a word more not a word less exchanged. I looked busy with my business and left politely after some good 40 ... (read in full...)
Am I being a gold digger?
Q. I am in a struggle. I met a nice guy last August and we have been dating ever since. Prior to that I was in a long relationship with a man from the US. He is starting to put a bit of pressure on me to take the relationship to the next level and I ...
A. 4 June 2014: You're a catch indeed given you can cook and is pretty..! However, I'm not sure if his lifestyle is something I would go for, in fact, it sounds too much. Some people are married to their jobs for life, if you love what he does, and think maybe that ... (read in full...)
What's wrong? I never get invited back ! I invite them, and they never reciprocate after that.
Q. My question is: Do you expect people to reciprocate your invites to dinner, brunch, lunch or a mere cup of coffee? I don't do it because I expect it, but since I have a particular taste and healthy diet needs, I tend to invite people over if the ...
A. 31 May 2014: Thank you Tisha1 for your time and tips. Just to let you know, that I lived in this country for more than 8 years now, but the people in the South are a bit boisterous and very friendly, however, I find it weird that once invited even for cup of ... (read in full...)
How do I act toward my crush? I'll be visiting his workplace soon!
Q. How do I act around a crush, given that I choose "accidently on purpose" to be where he works and stand the possibilty of being served by him. I don't live in that town, but I used to go there often...I really want to see if he'll chat me up...
A. 31 May 2014: 3 Thank You Tisha-1 & Dodds 3
Life's short indeed, we must go for it!!
peace out X
... (read in full...)
What's wrong? I never get invited back ! I invite them, and they never reciprocate after that.
Q. My question is: Do you expect people to reciprocate your invites to dinner, brunch, lunch or a mere cup of coffee? I don't do it because I expect it, but since I have a particular taste and healthy diet needs, I tend to invite people over if the ...
A. 30 May 2014: Thanks all for taking the time to reply with advice. I just think they're not happy to keep my company since I'm a foreigner in their town and so I fear I am lost in translation.
I speak their tongue quite well, however, nobody seems to digest m... (read in full...)
What is small talk? And how do I deal with a nosy private teacher?
Q. I seem to have a problem with people who I do not consider friends, like colleagues and my private language teacher who insist on fishing for answers about my activites. I thinkk I understand the difference between small talk; the weather etc. ...
A. 26 March 2014: I can't thank you enough Female Reader. You too exude wisdom and class X3... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to look at other women and come to the conclusion that some are better than my wife?
Q. Is it wrong to look at other women if you find yourself thinking they are better than your wife in some way? For example you see a woman who has long shapely legs, and you catch yourself thinking for a second she has nicer legs than your wife. I ...
A. 26 March 2014: I think it's natural for humans to compare...the grass is always greener on the other side. Then again, I think it is UNHEALTHY to compare although it's a natural tendency. Looking would lead to thinking, thinking might lead to considering, ... (read in full...)
What is small talk? And how do I deal with a nosy private teacher?
Q. I seem to have a problem with people who I do not consider friends, like colleagues and my private language teacher who insist on fishing for answers about my activites. I thinkk I understand the difference between small talk; the weather etc. ...
A. 26 March 2014: Thank you very much for your beautifully versed reply and time WiseOwlE, and need I add you exude wisdom!
I always always take the time to say hello and the greet the person by his/her name. I love talking about the weather, and put the kettle on a... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I'm studying so that I can avoid the 'nice neighbour' overdose?
Q. My landlady happens to be my neighbour too, so before Christmas I got her a nice snowflake to hang on her tree and a card...so a few days before I flew home, she invited me along with other expats to a lunch Christmas party...then after Christmas I ...
A. 6 March 2014: Thanks y'all! much appreciated advice and lots of tips...thanks again and in case you're all wondering, especiall NICK, I'll be moving in August when the contract ends...and will spend half of July on the coast, not long to bear with her smothering ... (read in full...)
Do I get in touch with my crush from a distance?
Q. I have a crush on a chap who has a travel agency, who my friend introduced to me at one party, but I left shortly after and even travelled somewhere else...now I am back and live in that new place...would it be OK to send his a business e-mail about ...
A. 4 March 2014: Thanks Anon for taking the time as well as exactly seeing my point, an "innocent" damsel in distress indeed! Much peace and love x... (read in full...)
Do I get in touch with my crush from a distance?
Q. I have a crush on a chap who has a travel agency, who my friend introduced to me at one party, but I left shortly after and even travelled somewhere else...now I am back and live in that new place...would it be OK to send his a business e-mail about ...
A. 24 February 2014: He doesn't know I am back or exist!... (read in full...)
Do I get in touch with my crush from a distance?
Q. I have a crush on a chap who has a travel agency, who my friend introduced to me at one party, but I left shortly after and even travelled somewhere else...now I am back and live in that new place...would it be OK to send his a business e-mail about ...
A. 24 February 2014: Thanks sageoldguy 1465 for the advice, I couldn't agree more, why should I chase a guy first and appeare like a dead moose on his doorstep. I know men love the chase and are the ones who light the sparks, however, dunno what you think if you knew ... (read in full...)
Going to the local café feels awkward now because I like one of the waiters!
Q. I am a client at one of the towns famous cafes, and whenever I have time I go there with a friend for a coffee whenever I happen to be in that part of town, I know the owner, in fact I am good friends with him. Recently, one of the waiters ...
A. 2 December 2013: Thanks So Very Confused, you're my guru! Your replies and feedback on many issues asked by me earlier are most invaluable to me. Thanks again for being there. Peace x... (read in full...)
How to show interest in a classy, lady-like way
Q. A Friend of mine has introduced me to a chap very gently, then they kind of tried to set me up so he'd have time to chat me up. I was supposed to meet her at a cetain place and a certain hour, and he happened to be there while she was gone! she did ...
A. 29 November 2013: thanks So very Confused
my sister's lent me the book a while back, I'm a big fan
it's just that I was wondering what to tell me friend if she tries to ask me whether I like him or something like that, she has tried to test the waters today and I to... (read in full...)
How to show interest in a classy, lady-like way
Q. A Friend of mine has introduced me to a chap very gently, then they kind of tried to set me up so he'd have time to chat me up. I was supposed to meet her at a cetain place and a certain hour, and he happened to be there while she was gone! she did ...
A. 26 November 2013: Thanks anon, that's exactly what I was trying to ask about, no being too available. Thanks again for your valuable tips and time x... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a friend to mention your skin color?
Q. I invited two friends over...I am of a mixed background, roots-wise, one of them who doesn't know the people of my country, told me though cautiously gentle polite inonation and all whether that my people had darker skin than I do..I am not dark but ...
A. 14 November 2013: Thanks folks, but she mentioned that I look practically European using these very words for someone from X country..like your people are dark
but come on I was born in Eire to XX parents, who are white there...maybe not European white, but cauc... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle this relationship with a mooching friend!
Q. There's this mooch of a friend I had a while back which I recently unfriended on Facebook , but haven't met her since. She was basically taking advantage of my generous and "patient" nature. I was rather passive to be honest and when mistreated, ...
A. 3 October 2013: Thanks all :)
May you never cross ways with ugly people xxx
peace... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle this relationship with a mooching friend!
Q. There's this mooch of a friend I had a while back which I recently unfriended on Facebook , but haven't met her since. She was basically taking advantage of my generous and "patient" nature. I was rather passive to be honest and when mistreated, ...
A. 3 October 2013: Thank you so much ladies! At last, someone who really undersstands me :) Cheers xxx... (read in full...)
Interest's gone sour! Should I ask her about him?
Q. Hi folks, I had a similar question asked and answered here before but now I've got another querry on the same matter. A friend of mine wanted to set me up with a friend of her. At first, he wasn't up for it. When he saw me, he changed his mind. ...
A. 29 September 2013: Can't thank you enough Dorothy Dix! Much peace x... (read in full...)
How do I go on being NOT the so-nice understanding friend victim into the real me?
Q. This is probably the weirdest most disghusting querry you'll ever read, but I'm afraid I need an insight on this one and how to deal with this tricky situation to say the least. I happen to have a friend who whenever she comes to my place, use...
A. 29 September 2013: Big love
Big thanks to all of you who took the time to read more on the matter. Originally, when I wrote the question for advice I thought it was just the bathroom use I'm upset about, but the root cause is her bad manners really...I thanks you agai... (read in full...)
How do I go on being NOT the so-nice understanding friend victim into the real me?
Q. This is probably the weirdest most disghusting querry you'll ever read, but I'm afraid I need an insight on this one and how to deal with this tricky situation to say the least. I happen to have a friend who whenever she comes to my place, use...
A. 28 September 2013: I'm no mother Teresa, and friendships like relationships are best balanced or else they won't float. It was dumb of me to have put up with her rudeness for friendship's sake, cause you know what it's not MUTUAL! Thanks for all your help though :... (read in full...)
How do I go on being NOT the so-nice understanding friend victim into the real me?
Q. This is probably the weirdest most disghusting querry you'll ever read, but I'm afraid I need an insight on this one and how to deal with this tricky situation to say the least. I happen to have a friend who whenever she comes to my place, use...
A. 28 September 2013: Thanks for your ideas folks. Cindy Cares and WiseOwl it seems are the ones who really understood the situation best so thanks for that. She's a friend who tends to take more than gives back on many levels. I am patient, giving and have invited... (read in full...)
Interest's gone sour! Should I ask her about him?
Q. Hi folks, I had a similar question asked and answered here before but now I've got another querry on the same matter. A friend of mine wanted to set me up with a friend of her. At first, he wasn't up for it. When he saw me, he changed his mind. ...
A. 28 September 2013: Update: I just blocked her from my FB In general she doesn't reply to my messages or does any comments or likes. She only replies to my phone text messages when they include an outing, an invitation for tea at my place, or dinner for that matter.... (read in full...)
Do you just let your ex become a stranger?
Q. My ex isnt willing to see me with someone new and i dont want to see his either so we defriended each other on facebook (FYI: It was a bad breakup) We are in different countries so we will never ever see each other again. Do you guys just let your ...
A. 28 September 2013: Yes, a total stranger m'dear. Because if the love or liking was good enough it would have endured the disagreements which got you where you are. So move on, it's not easy at first, and sounds very cruel, but in the end you've got your life ahead of ... (read in full...)
Interest's gone sour! Should I ask her about him?
Q. Hi folks, I had a similar question asked and answered here before but now I've got another querry on the same matter. A friend of mine wanted to set me up with a friend of her. At first, he wasn't up for it. When he saw me, he changed his mind. ...
A. 27 September 2013: Dorothy Dix, you're godsend! I like the way you think and thanks for the time you took to analyse the situation.
It was her who told me all that and very early on.
I agree with you, I shall avoid her and make my life easy and forget about her ex... (read in full...)
Interest's gone sour! Should I ask her about him?
Q. Hi folks, I had a similar question asked and answered here before but now I've got another querry on the same matter. A friend of mine wanted to set me up with a friend of her. At first, he wasn't up for it. When he saw me, he changed his mind. ...
A. 27 September 2013: Thank you Dorothy Dix, I would've assumed the same because whenever she spoke about him, she has a wicked smile on her face and a glint in her eye. I think she likes him, but she told me he's made it clear to her that he's NOT interested in her. ... (read in full...)
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