A
female
age
36-40,
*ula
writes:So if you live in a different country but kept in touch with a group of friends, one of whom, is a crush, in a group setting kind of thing on Facebook. You exchanged pleasantries with this guy and have tons of things in common, like finishing each other's sentences. The ping pong of silly likes and daring comments have been going on for some time now, but no substantial content in writing let alone exchange of numbers and phone calls. I then, decided to write him a message with subtle admiration, the kind you'd find between the lines. It's been 7 days and nothing. Why do you think he hasn't taken time to reply? Maybe I should be more patient ,but there was no other way I would get in touch, since I live in another country... What do men think when the girl makes the first move? The thing is, this has been going on for some time now and I can no longer keep it in. I had to say something, I had to and now, I don't regret it, it''s just that I want to know if I can move on. It will surely hurt if he doesn't reply, but I'd hate myself more if I kept in touch with him knowing that he is letting me go gently... I might unfriend him if I don't get a reply in a month or so, as I feel too exposed. I am customising things, so he won't see all my thoughts...etc. Am I over-reacting? I never understood the cyber dynamics.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tula +, writes (8 February 2015):
Tula is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much 3
Valuable advice in a nutshell.
He is single, but that doesn't matter any more. Special thanks to Eric.Troy, the spoon metaphor, gosh you're so good! I'm so glad you all took the time.
What was I thinking, indeed?!
x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2015): This has nothing to do with cyber dynamics. It has everything to do with human dynamics. You expressed your interest in him and he stopped responding to you. That means only one thing: you two are not on the same page. He didn't respond because he doesn't know what to say. And he doesn't know what to say because he doesn't feel the same way you do. So instead of letting you down with words he opted instead to let you down with silence.
It's that simple.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 February 2015):
 IS he single?
If he is not single, then maybe your "subtle admiration" felt awkward to him. And if you KNEW he wasn't single.. that "subtle admiration" was inappropriate.
Now I will PRESUME he is single, because I'd rather think you are old enough to know better if he wasn't.. SO, maybe because you live so far from each other he liked the banter but didn't have it with you for romantic purposes, so he is not sure how to tell you - that he sees you as a friend, no more.
ANY guy who was interested would have JUMPED on to answer, not wait.
No need to UNFRIEND him - just accept that he SEES you as a friend from the past, no more. UNLESS you don't want to see what he is up to in his life. But that is up to you.
Honestly though, if you are looking for a romantic partner, find one geographically closer.
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