A
female
age
36-40,
*ula
writes:So I caught this waiter's eye and he started conversing with me and my friend and welcoming us to town and giving us extreme details about this and that. He also asked me a couple of personal questions of what I do and where am I from...He kept eye contact and spent over half an hour doing so...it was a quiet Sunday afternoon and there were some people about but not many. A while later, I returned and met another friend at this place and he greeted me and flashed a big smile but I only briefly nodded because I was not sure it was him as I have a poor memory and it's been two months since. I went back again alone this time, in the hope of probing whether he really likes me or not. He welcomed me as usual and smiled and so did I...It then started to rain heavily and the cafe was busy with people who were hiding from the rain and he got a deluge of orders. Once I had my drink and spent over an hour browsing my book and enjoying the music, I left. I don't know whether he is interested or not, had he been interested and not just friendly, don't you think he would've made an effort? I know from a common friend, who has him on FB too, that he's a tad shy. He's a serious fellow and not the type who chats girls up, I noticed his "behaviour" with other customers. I think when we chatted that day in April, the conversation went smoothly and I liked some of the ideas he's mentioned...I dunno, but wouldn't it be weird if I ask more info from my friend about him? Or shall I just forget about it all since he did not make a single move that day except delaying my order and intentionally swap my tea with a different blend than the one I ordered? Am I imaging?! LOL
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female
reader, Tula +, writes (6 June 2014):
Tula is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot folks. I agree, it'd sound weird and stalkerish if added him or anything on FB... I'll probably mention him to my friend in passing conversation and see what she knows about his status, otherwise, I'll put in another appearance and let's hope it won't be my last walk of shame into that beautiful vegetarian cafe! I will wait a while and go back and launch the number!! Cheers x3
A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (6 June 2014):
 I would do it all in person, not via FB. He may find it a bit weird to be honest.
Mark
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2014): Hiding from the guy and doing things through other people would not make a very good impression. Using someone else to get to him would creep him out. It would creep me out for sure. If someone wants to talk to me,I'd rather not see them suddenly show up on Facebook, or through somebody else. That makes me wonder who's out there giving out information on me.
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A
female
reader, Tula +, writes (5 June 2014):
Tula is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks folks, really helpful, but I don't think I can walk there again now unless acompanied by that friend, the one we both have in common, she has him on FB. I think it's best to ask her if he's taken first , if not, then I can hand his the digits...
Would it be OK, if I asked her to suggest he adds me on FB or that would be pushing it. I can easily look him up on FB and add him, trouble is, he did not mention his first name and I wouldn't have known had I not had access to my friend's "friend list". I doubt I can walk there again and hand him my number like that...I need to play this right, asking her first about his status.
Thanks again 3
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2014): My gosh, you've been back three times and didn't even offer the guy your number?
It's policy of most restaurants for the servers to make customers feel welcome and at ease. To make each and every patron feel special. He is experienced at noticing when he gets a stare or lingering eye-contact. You pay special attention to that customer. They will most likely tip well and comeback. He is most likely being polite. You find him attractive, so you'll speculate on his every move and gesture.
The way to find out if he is interested, is to discretely ask if he's single or seeing anyone. He asked you a personal-question, now it's your turn. There is the possibility that he is gay. So if he seems uncomfortable upon your questioning, leave it at that; and politely change the subject. Don't put him on the spot in-front of people you're with. Best to ask if you're alone.
If you can get him aside and out of the sight of other servers and his manager; ask it he would like your number. It's a simple yes or no answer. He will have to confess; if he has a girlfriend, or a boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2014): Hey I think you should give him your number and then he has a choice in wether to call u or not. I agree with Cerberus that it could be that he was just having to be professional and he had a lot of orders! I would give him your number than he has a choice in what he wants to do. It may lead somewhere it may not but worth a try!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2014): "don't you think he would've made an effort?"
No, I've been a waiter and it's very unprofessional to actually make a proper move on a customer. I've flirted and even had long conversations while the place was quiet but it's a bad habit to actually make moves on customers.
Just give him your number, OP and stop playing games.
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