A
female
age
36-40,
*ula
writes:So I visited the place where my crush who runs this place for the fourth time now, without much but casual conversation.The thing is, the fourth time I walked in the busy busy place, he did not even stop to say hello and he was on the phone and then he disappeared. Then as I waited my orders, he took my plate from the chef and took a photo of it and then send it with the waiter. As I was settling down the bill, he caught my eye and I said jokingly that : I demolised your work of art! That was so good you even took a photo of it earlier. He smiled nervously and replied that he wants to upload more on FB. As I paid, the other waiter enclosed their business card and so I said, Oh so this is your card and here's mine by the way. I used to do something related to food production and catering...So he started asking me questions and kept eye contact. I had to leave the conversation at a high note not because I wanted to but because I had to catch a train.My question is,and since my mobile was flat for the past two days in a yoga seculsion weekend, Do I wait for that phone call or text or do I just move on, without even a single LIKE on FB, since I already liked the cafes photo a while back. Do I like the food's photo (the one I ordered) which's been uploaded yesterday, two days after my visit. Am I overthinking this? The thing is I take crushes seriously..
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female
reader, Tula +, writes (17 June 2014):
Tula is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWiseOwlE,have I told you that you're so wise:) Thanks for your time and many blessings. Your words are more than a tonic needed to boost my ego and scratched pride! I'm such a proud lady and you don't know how many bagpipe marching tunes I had to listen to before I actually walked in to the that place... Real men and women have "cojones" as they say in Spanish and that's really what's wrong with the world. Peace out
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2014): Don't be discouraged. You have as much right to pursue, as being pursued. You have to try it, and practice at it.
Take this advice with you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Some men move too slow, or send mixed signals. Why be left wondering what could have been? Just because things didn't immediately go as planned; doesn't mean every attempt hereafter will not workout. It's hit or miss for everyone. Men and women. His loss, if he only has the balls to stare. Don't rule out the possibility that he may be gay. Not only for the purpose of soothing your ego.
Sometimes there is a delayed-reaction. Men get caught off-guard when the woman is the pursuer. Some men are surprised by women who make the first move. So the strategy is to let him know you're open to the possibilities.
The ball is now in his court. Go about your life with one small victory. You didn't wait for the guy, you took the initiative. You now have a taste of that power. Not just to wait, but to go for it.
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A
female
reader, Tula +, writes (16 June 2014):
Tula is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't agree more WiseOwl, the thing is and I'll be honest here, I think what's attracted me more to the whole deal, is the business side of it. I thought that because we share similar visions and tastes, we could kick it off romantically. Apparently it's not the case, and he's being polite as you said. The only reason 'twas difficult for me this time, is because it's the first time I ever initiate something. I am always used to being chased, saught after and others were convincing me otherwise since he's a catch somwhow...Anyhow, I guess it's a lesson to learn. Sigh and moving on... Cheers
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2014): I recognize you from your previous posts. I think you're over-thinking things a bit. I also think there is a possibility that the guy you're interested in, doesn't have an equal interest in getting to know you. He's made no effort.
He may look at you as a guy would look at a pretty lady. He may have appreciated you as a regular customer. If he had any romantic-interest; I think he would have made a move by now.
This has been going on for weeks. He's being polite; but I'm afraid he simply likes you as a frequent customer. You don't wait around for anyone to call. You have made it quite apparent that you would like to get to know him. I'm afraid he isn't reciprocating. He gave you his business card, perhaps because you mentioned you do related-business.
It was a courtesy.
Move on, and start checking out other men. If he happens to contact you, take it from there. Don't wait around hoping he will call. He's a businessman, I don't think he's that shy. He is probably hit-on by women in his restaurant a lot.
He knows how to be polite, and not offend them by rejecting their flirtations.
That is my opinion.
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